How to Tumble Down Bernal Hill Without Spilling Your Beer

Bernal Heights old-timers will tell you about the days when children used to love sliding down Bernal Hill on a piece of cardboard. Today we live in more extreme times, with ready access to video documentation tools, so this is how it’s done it now: no cardbord required.

In this video shared late last week on Reddit, we see a wannabe stuntman casually handing his beer to a friend before tumbling headlong down the black-diamond north face of Bernal Hill.

Suffice to say, “Kids, don’t try this at home.”

The Bernal Coyote Is Alive and Well and Enjoying Dry Weather

The rains have subsided, and the Bernal Coyote seems excited about that. In the last few days, Bernalwood readers have shared many photos of the Bernal Coyote out and about on Bernal Hill, taking in the sights, wandering through the grass, and generally being rather photogenic.

The photos up above were captured  by Neighbor Chris, as the Bernal Coyote strolled through her urban oasis.

Neighbor Sig snapped this photo yesterday as well:

Neighbor Dena has turned her attention from rainbows to wildlife, and along the way she took this picture of the Bernal Coyote in what could have been a pose for an LL Bean mail-order catalog:

And finally, Neighbor Hope spotted the Bernal Coyote savoring the sun in the community garden just below Bernal Hill:

So amazing! Just remember: As much as we love the Bernal Coyote, it’s up to us to help keep her safe. Do not love her too much. Respect her space, and DO NOT FEED HER. For more expert advice on how to co-exist with the Bernal Coyote, please read this.

ALERT! Fabio the Gargoyle Guardian of Esmeralda Slide Park Is Missing

Alert! Alert! Alert! Fabio the Gargoyle has been plundered!

For many moons Fabio has stood watch over the wonderful Esmeralda Slide Park on the west slope of Bernal Heights. Yet now it seems some scoundrel has absconded with the pensive neighborhood sentinel.

Neighbor Michelle tells Bernalwood:

Some sad news to pass on. “Fabio”, the Esmeralda Slide Park gargoyle, has gone missing once again. In the past when this has happened in his previous home location, he would happily turned up in a variety of nearby locations. This time the thieves bent some re-bar to remove him and haul all 50+ pounds of gargoyle away. Asking Bernal neighbors to keep watch, and let us know if you spot him.

Please be on the lookout for Fabio, and contact Bernalwood if you see him.

PHOTO: Fabio the Gargoyle, keeping an eye on Esmeralda Slide Park before he disappeared

Eye of the Avocado Re-Pops Inside Little Bee Baking

eyeofavodado

As you may recall, waaaaaaaay back in January Bernlwood wrote about Chef Jes Taber and the Eye of the Avocado pop-up breakfast and lunch sandwich place she opened on Cortland Avenue inside the former Sandbox/Pinkie’s Bakery space.

As you may also recall, Eye of the Avocado attracted substantial love and affection, thanks to Chef Jes’s cult-favorite  “Roy G. Biv Sandi” egg sandwich, which Bernalwood readers have described as “a slice of heaven” and “by far the best [breakfast sandwich] I’ve ever had.”

Whoa. With bona fides like that, we’re pleased to report that Chef Jes has now relocated her pop-up just up the street, inside the fabulous Little Bee Baking shop at 521 Cortland, right across from the library.

She tells Bernalwood:

Eye Of The Avocado, is a Pop Up Cafe at 521 Cortland @ Little Bee Bakery. We’re excited to continue to be part of the beloved Bernal Heights community. We offer one of the best dang egg sandwiches you will ever eat, the “Roy G. Biv Sandi”. (It’s name is the acronym for the rainbow, after it’s colorful ingredients.)

We are open Fri – Sun 8am-ish – Sell Out or 2pm. We are proud to be working within Little Bee Bakery. Little Bee offers amazing fresh fruit tarts, fresh ginger cake that will make your heart soar, gluten free brownies, & four barrel coffee to boot.

We hope to see you soon!

PHOTO: The famous Roy G. Biv Sandi + Bacon, courtesy of Eye of the Avocado

Wacky Weather Brings Hail and Rainbows to Bernal Heights

The cold, wet weather that lingered over Bernal Heights this weekend delivered a schizophrenic mix of conditions that left many Bernalese skywatchers feeling bemused.

The Bernalwood Rainbow Situation Control Facility was activated and on full alert all weekend, so we were prepared with a Euphoria Response Team when science superstar Neighbor Dena snapped the arctastic photo of a Category 5 rainbow (with 2x bonus corona) from the north side of Bernal Hill on Sunday afternoon.

Before that, Bernal was pummeled by a rare series of hailstorms the sent gazillions of pea-sized ice pebbles crashing onto Bernalese roofs and hardscapes.

Esoteric Scientific Fact: Hailstones in Bernal Heights are created when damp unicorn sweat collides with superchilled marine-layer air during winter months. There. Now you know.

All told, it was a day of many meteorological marvels, with alternating periods of sun and intense precipitation. Neighbor Stephan tweeted out a fabulous time-lapse video that documented the confused nature of our cloudscape:

PHOTO: Top, rainbow above Bernal Hill by @denadubai

Baffled Motorists Use New Valencia Bike Lane for Parking Instead

Cars parking in the new Valencia bike lane on Feb. 26. Photo via @roessler

Cars parking in the new Valencia bike lane on Feb. 26. Photo via @roessler

The peripheries of Bernal Heights have long been a place where forward-thinking streetscape infrastructure collides head-on with the gritty realities of urban life.

Once upon a time, The Bernal Cut was carved from the hillside of southwest Bernal as part of an urban freeway network that never got built, while Army/Cesar Chavez was widened to funnel traffic onto an East Bay bridge that never came to pass. We live in more environmentally sensitive times today, but the new bike lane on the La Lengua stretch of Valencia Street between Mission and Cesar Chavez shows that we haven’t lost our capacity to create well-intentioned traffic infrastructure that’s an albatross practically from the moment when it’s completed.

As you may recall, a  new bike lane was a centerpiece of the recent effort to redesign our humble stretch of Valencia Street. Taking a cue from such famously bike-friendly cities as Copenhagen and Portland, Oregon, the Valencia bikeway was built as a dedicated lane for bikes that’s separated from the street and motor vehicle traffic by a small curb. The plan was quixotic from the outset, in part because traffic on that block of Valencia is already modest, but mostly because there was never really a plan to extend the dedicated bike lane farther down Valencia.  So the 551-foot Valencia bike lane was always destined to be something of a white elephant, more or less by design.

Now that construction is done, the dedicated bikeway on Valencia has also become an object of ridicule, as frustrated cyclists have chronicled the follies of the many confused motorists who have parked their cars directly in the bike lane. And sometimes, in the lane next to it too:

In fairness to the befuddled motorists, some confusion was to be expected given that the old parking meters rmain in place next to the sidewalk, while no signs were installed to explain how the new (and locally unfamiliar) streetscape design was intended to work.

Not to worry though; local cyclists report that SFMTA has come up with an effective way to educate motorists about the new streetscape, with help from a futuristic regiment of scientifically designed traffic cones.

CORRECTION AND UPDATE: Bernalwood is informed that the ridiculously effective traffic cones were NOT put in place by SFMTA. Instead, La Lengua’s rebel propagandist Burrito Justice installed the cones in a guerrilla action after seeing a pile of the cones sitting idle on the other side of the street.

PROGRESS!

Fate of Northwest Bernal Parking Zone Unclear as SFMTA Rewrites Rules

Streets initially proposed for a new northwest Bernal RPP zone. Source: SFMTA

Streets initially proposed for a new northwest Bernal RPP zone.  Source: SFMTA

There’s been plenty of confusion surrounding the proposal to create a new Residential Parking Permit (RPP) zone in northwest Bernal Heights.  There’s been a bunch of community meetings, and a petition drive, and yet another community meeting, as well as some controversy surrounding the data the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) uses to determine northwest Bernal qualifies as a new RPP zone.

Things got even weirder in January, when SFMTA quietly changed its published requirements for establishing new RPP zones. In December, the requirements published on the SFMTA website to create a new RPP zone were:

To create a new Residential Permit Parking Area, a petition signed by at least 250 households (one signature per household) in the proposed area must be submitted to the SFMTA. See “Expand an Existing Permit Area” for petition forms.

Requirements
  • The proposed block(s) must be contiguous to each other and must contain a minimum of one mile of street frontage.
  • The proposed block(s) must be of a low- or medium-density residential character — high-density land use is generally not suitable for RPP
  • At least fifty percent of the vehicles parked on the street in the proposed area must be non-resident vehicles.
  • At least eighty percent of the legal on-street parking spaces within the proposed area are occupied during the day.

Today, however, if you go visit the same SFMTA webpage, the requirements are completely different.

The new requirements are:

Requirements

To create a new Residential Permit Parking Area, a petition signed by at least 250 households or 50 percent of the residential units in the residential area proposed for designation (one signature per household) must be submitted. See “Expand an Existing Permit Area” for petition forms.

San Francisco’s Transportation Code has specific critera for designating a Residental Parking Permit Area. Per the Transportation Code, in determining whether to recommend that a residential area be designated as a Residental Parking Permit Area, the City Traffic Engineer shall take into account factors which include, but are not limited to the following:

  • The extent of the desire and need of the residents for residential parking permits and their willingness to bear the resulting administrative costs even if the SFMTA does so on its own initiative.
  • The extent to which legal on-street parking spaces are occupied during the period proposed for parking restrictions;
  • The extent to which vehicles parking in the area during the times of the proposed parking restrictions are not registered to residents of proposed Residential Parking Permit Area; and
  • The extent to which motor vehicles registered to persons residing in the residential area cannot be accommodated by the number of available off-street parking spaces.

So if it seems like SFMTA completely moved the goalposts halfway through the process of determining whether or not to establish a new RPP zone on northeast Bernal Heights, that’s because SFMTA did in fact completely move the goalposts halfway through the process of determining whether or not to establish a new RPP zone in northwest Bernal Heights.

Bernalwood reached out to Hank Willson, Manager of Parking Policy at SFMTA to explain what’s going on. Wilson tells Bernalwood:

The SFMTA is many months into its Residential Parking Evaluation and Reform Project, and that project has revealed some issues with the existing RPP program and process. The timing for North Bernal petition means it is the first entirely new area to be proposed since we’ve started drawing conclusions and formulating potential policies as part of the Reform Project. As it happens (and not unexpectedly), many of the key issues we’ve identified through the Reform Project show up in North Bernal, including:

  1. Parking impacts may be driven as much or more by internal than external demand, but RPP regulations only limit external demand
  2. Requiring petitions and signature collections before gathering parking data can make neighbors feel like they did a lot of work for naught
  3. Regulating some streets and not others risks pitting neighbor against neighbor
  4. Regulating some streets and not others risks moving the parking impacts to those blocks that are not included

We are keeping these issues in mind as we analyze the data gathered for North Bernal and hear questions and concerns from neighbors. The Reform Project has proposed potential policy solutions for each of these issues, and we’re currently talking internally to see if any of those proposals would be useful for North Bernal.

You can learn more about the Reform Project here.

OK, so in practical terms then, what does this reform effort mean for Bernal Heights, and the possibility of creating a new northwest Bernal RPP?

Bernalwood sent a series of questions to SFMTA about this, and late last week we received a reply from Kathryn Studwell, SFMTA’s Residential Parking Policy program manager.

Bernalwood: When was the RPP reform project initiated and what SFMTA staff is managing it? Will the public have the opportunity to comment on the proposed rule-changes before the reform proposal in implemented?

SFMTA: The RPP Reform Project started in summer 2014. In the following 12 – 15 months we conducted a comprehensive analysis of existing conditions relative to on-street parking in residential areas. Our project website went live in November 2015 when we began our four-phased public engagement program. I encourage you to visit the site as it has very informative research findings, presentations, and blogs. At this point, we have completed a 3 phase public engagement program involving a citywide household survey, five open houses, 15+ community workshops and meetings, including one workshop in each Supervisorial District, two focus groups and several public presentations. The District 9 community workshop was held on Thursday, May 19th, 2017 at CCSF on Valencia Street.

Bernalwood: It’s still unclear what specific, quantitative criteria SFMTA will use to determine if a proposed new RPP zone will qualify for inclusion in the program. For example, what is the threshold requirement for non-resident cars under the new framework?

SFMTA: We have not completed our evaluation of alternative policy approaches to reforming the RPP program. As you may imagine, any changes to the program impact several departments within SFMTA and we are working with all of them to make sure possible policy changes are both effective in achieving our goals and can be implemented with existing staffing and technologies. One early conclusion, however, is that we want to focus more on comprehensive neighborhood parking management rather than use of a single tool, such as RPP. While some streets are better managed with RPP, others are more suited to general time limits or paid parking. The specific tool used depends on the particular context. So by moving towards a more holistic approach to managing on-street parking, we would not need to use rigid thresholds to determine eligibility for one approach or another.

Bernalwood: So what’s the status of the Bernal Heights RPP now, given that SFMTA appears to have mooted its own requirements for creating a new RPP zone under the auspices of the reform project?

SFMTA: We are completing our analysis of petitions and parking occupancy and are getting ready to schedule another community meeting for later in the spring.

Stay tuned, but in the meantime SFMTA is posting documents and details about the proposed Northwest Bernal RPP Zone on it’s website.

Old Bus Tavern Getting a Neighborhood-Focused Makeover

oldbusface2

It’s been 2+ years since Old Bus Tavern opened at 3193 Mission (near Valencia) in the heart of La Lengua’s fashionably low-key restaurant and entertainment district.  Along  the way, Old Bus has garnered a lot of enthusiastic notice and acclaim. Now it’s time to change things up a bit, as Old Bus plans to give itself a more casual makeover, in a way that’ll probably please many hungry and drinky  Bernalese.

Old Bus brewmaster and co-owner Ben Buchanan tells Bernalwood:

Wanted to let you know about some upcoming changes at Old Bus Tavern.

As owners, Jimmy, John and I have decided to take our food program in a more casual direction — a decision that reflects our original vision of building a neighborhood brewpub that offers an easygoing vibe and a comfortable menu of craft beer, cocktails, and food that locals can enjoy often.

The primary driver behind the shift is the rapid growth of our beer program. We recently started distributing OBT beer to a solid list of SF beer bars and restaurants, including Old Devil Moon, Alamo Drafthouse/Bear Vs Bull bar, Wesburger, and Liquid Gold. A more casual approach to our food frees up resources for our beer program, which is the heart of the operation and the original reason we created OBT.

In addition to creating more time for beer-related pursuits, we were motivated by neighborhood feedback, which has been a unanimous vote for more accessible brewpub fare. Although we are dialing down the fine dining factor, the new food program won’t compromise integrity.

We are currently working on the new menu with a longtime friend, culinary consultant Blair Warsham (Adriano Paganini’s The Bird, Christopher Kostow’s American Express Centurion Lounge), who is crafting dishes that are comforting, delicious, and beer-friendly. The menu is still in the works, but we’re keeping favorites like the burger, chili, and cornbread, and introducing new craveable items like Frito Pie with housemade Fritos.

This Saturday, February 25th will be the last day we’re serving our current dinner menu. The brewpub will be closed for two weeks to allow us to make interior updates, train, and transition to the new menu. When we reopen on Sunday, March 12th, OBT will operate seven days a week (up from five), serve an all-day menu on weekends starting at 11 a.m., and offer free live music every Sunday.

We’re really excited about these changes, and we hope the neighborhood will be as well. Basically, the goal is more beer, more accessible and delicious food, and more FUN.

Cheers,
Ben

PHOTO: Old Bus Tavern facade, via InsideScoop

Bernal Warehouse Residents Seek to Avoid Eviction

peraltawarehousemap

The cover story of today’s San Francisco Examiner looks at a group of Bernal Heights neighbors who have been living in an unpermitted warehouse space on the 900 block of Peralta, in the southeast corner of Bernal near the Alemany Farmer’s Market. Michael Barba from the Examiner writes:

The artists, who are in danger of losing their home in the wake of the deadly Ghost Ship fire in Oakland late last year, cut windows and a second door into the mostly metal warehouse on Peralta Avenue ahead of a meeting with fire officials Tuesday.

“We did it ourselves,” said Nathan Cottam, a dancer and choreographer who is one of eight tenants living in the vibrant warehouse called the Sunspot.

Cottam is just one of many people who have lived on the lot behind the Alemany Farmers Market for about a decade, he said. But their occupancy only became an issue after a fire killed three dozen people who were trapped in the Ghost Ship warehouse Dec. 2, 2016.

Since then, building and fire inspectors have visited the Sunspot warehouse, and the owner served the tenants with an eviction notice back in December.

City agencies have been on heightened alert for fire safety hazards in commercial spaces where people are living and the SFFD has experienced a rise in complaints regarding the illegal use of warehouses, according to fire officials.

The Examiner adds that the City has issued an abatement order for current tenants to vacate the property because it is not permitted for residential use. Meanwhile, the property owner has been planning since 2001 to build housing on the site, with a proposal unveiled last July that would create 49 units there.

Painted Rock on Bernal Hill Joins the Resistance

resistrock

The clever elves who decorate the iconic and always-topical painted rock overlooking San Francisco from the north side of Bernal Hill are at it again, as the rock has now  been transformed into a pillar of political resistance.

Neighbor Annie Sprinkle shared this photo of the painted rock over the weekend, capturing the glorious moment as a member of the Bernal Heights Canine Cadre stood guard to defend the painted rock against hooligans, reactionaries, subversives, xenophobes, and Milo Yiannopoulos.

PHOTO: Courtesy of @AnnieSprinkle

Epic Rains Trigger Mini-Mudslide on Bernal Hill

mimimudslide

Heavy rains over the weekend triggered a mini-mudslide on Bernal Hill, along the south side of Bernal Heights Boulevard, just east of Ellsworth.

Neighbor Fiid shared this photo of the washed out segment of the slope, and from this angle is looks like Bernal Hill is trying to reclaim the roadway. Which, in a geological sense, it most certainly is.

UPDATE: Bernalwood dispatched the Mobile Uplink Miata to the slide scene this morning. Here’s a complete daylight view: 


In addition, there are many smaller slides and mud flumes visible all over Bernal Hill, so tread carefully to avoid slipping and/or exacerbating soil erosion. 

Get Your Passport for the Bernal Heights Beer Crawl, Happening Now

glassandpassport

Beer lovers of Bernal Heights, this is your moment. As previously noted, future historians will look upon our current era as a Golden Age for Bernal Beer, because recently a remarkable profusion of craft beer manufacturers and purveyors have set up shop here in Bernal Heights. Lucky us.

Happily, several of these esteemed beermongers have formed an alliance, and the result is that the first-ever Bernal Beer Crawl is currently underway right here, right now in our neighborhood. Neighbor Steve explains how to partake:

After years of being a great neighborhood — albeit one bereft of great craft beer — times have changed.

Six Bernal beer locations have teamed up to create a way for all Bernalese (and others who visit our corner of the city) to try the beers produced and/ or served and sold here in Bernal. The Bernal Beer Crawl started on Tuesday, February 14, and it runs through Sunday, February 19.

Here’s how it works:

  • Stop by to pick up your “Bernal Beerlands Passport” at any participating location:
    – Holy Water SF
    – Old Devil Moon,
    – Barebottle Brewing Company
    – Old Bus Tavern
    – BEL
    – Healthy Spirits
  • Patronize any 4 of the 6 participating locations to get “stamped,” until the end of Beer Week. (purchase of one full-sized beer=one stamp)
  • At the 4th location you get a Free Bernal Beer Crawl glass + a free pour of the beer of the bars choice, or 35% off any 22oz Beer or 6 pack at Healthy Spirits.

Check out the Facebook event page here for full details.

Cheers,

Neighbor Steve
(of Andover Street and BeerByBART.com)

PHOTO: Nifty custom Bernal Beer Crawl glass and passport, by Neighbor Steve

“Good Morning Bernalwood”

bernammorning-021517

“Good Morning Bernalwood.”

That’s the message we got earlier today –  along with this image  — courtesy of Christopher Baker, Bernal’s photographically inclined fanboy in Noe Valley. Thanks Christopher!

Oh, and it really was a beautiful sunrise. Did anyone else notice how the color of the color of the light matched the hue of the plum blossoms that are popping right about now? Just for one magnificently ephemeral moment? Wonderful.

Separately, your Bernalwood editor has been arguing recently that winter is the finest season to be in San Francisco – and not just because the skiing on Bernal Hill tends to be excellent. Winter here means no fog, green grass, fragrant air, warm days, occasional hygge-inducing rainstorms, Rainbow Alerts, and so many other unique seasonal charms. Would you agree? Please discuss.

PHOTO: Bernal Hill on February 15, 2017, by Christopher Baker