How to Win Two Free Tickets to The Noisette Festival

/ Todd_Lappin / 2 Comments

Noisette is a “culinary concert block party” that will take place in the Mission District on August 4. Combining food from glamorous local chefs with music by glamorous musicians, Noisette is a pop-up extension of the annual Noise Pop Music Festival that has become a mainstay of the San Francisco alt/indie music scene.

What you may not realize however, is that both Noisette and Noise Pop have deep roots in Bernal Heights. Long story short, these festivals are organized in collaboration with  Zeitgeist Artist Management, and the brain trust for Zeitgeist lives right here, among us, in Bernal Heights — which only confirms Bernalwood’s longstanding contention that everyone in Bernal Heights is a rockstar. Here are the details about Noisette:

WHAT: Presented by Noise Pop and Finger on the Pulse, Noisette- a culinary concert block party- will kick off the inaugural event in San Francisco on August 4th. This delicious summer feast and dance party will feature some of the city’s best up-and-coming chefs and a variety of indie bands and DJs.

WHEN: Saturday, August 4th from 1-5 p.m. VIP hour: 12-1 p.m.

WHERE: Public Works (Mission) 161 Erie Street, San Francisco, CA 94103

WHO: THE CHEFS-Noisette will host eight of the hottest chefs from the Bay Area’s highly influential culinary scene. Each chef has been tasked to create a unique dish inspired by seasonal summer cuisine. Confirmed chefs: Adam Dulye (The Monk’s Kettle and Abbots Cellar), Jason Fox (Commonwealth), Dennis Lee (Namu Gaji), Ian Marks (Beast and the Hare), Ryan Pollnow (flour + water), Mike Selvera (Bar Crudo), Arthur Wall (Garcon!), and Blair Warsham (graffEats).

THE MUSIC- Noisette’s diverse lineup of bands from the alternative and independent music scenes reflects Noise Pop’s mission of bringing innovative, quality music to a discerning and passionate audience. Confirmed talent: Dodos, Pillowfight – featuring Dan the Automator, Emily Wells and Kid Koala, Craft Spells and Taken by Trees. Confirmed DJ’s: Snacky Tunes, Nanosaur and Chad Salty will spin from 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. and between sets.

You can buy tickets to Noisette here. However, if you act now, Bernalwood has a pair of Noisette tickets that we will give away to a lucky Bernalwood reader. But like a true rockstar, you will have to work for it. Here’s the gig:

Bernalwood will award a free pair of Noisette tickets to the person who sends us the best photograph of themselves playing air guitar somewhere on the streets of Bernal Heights.

Got that? It’s pretty simple: You and a pal pair up to take a photo of one of you playing air guitar somewhere on the streets of Bernal Heights. You rock, your pal takes the photo. Or vice versa. Make it awesome, and you’ll win the pair of tickets to Noisette.

Rules and Caveats: Send your photo to us at bernalwood *at* gmail *dot* com. Along with your photo, please tell us your first name, and where you were in Bernal Heights when you took your photo. Mobile phone pictures are just fine; please send images at least 900 pixels wide. Air guitar style is more important than photographic excellence, but the ideal winner will combine the two. Any photo submitted for this contest may be published on the glamorous pages of Bernalwood. Energetic air guitar preferred; wan singer-songwriter types participate at their own risk. Contest ends at noon on Monday, July 30, 2012. Images from the winner, and select runners-up, will be published on Bernalwood.

Work on your style, find a scenic spot in Bernal Heights, pair up with a photog, and send us your photo by 12 noon on Wednesday, July 25, 2012. Rock on, Bernalwood!

UPDATE: Photo deadlines deadline has been extended until Monday, July 30. Send your pics to win two free tix! 

The Fight Is On to Secure the Future of St. Luke’s Hospital

/ Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

Uncertainty about the future of St. Luke’s hospital in the La Lengua Autonomous Zone is holding up approval of the California Pacific Medical Center’s $2.5 billion hospital development plan.

Supervisor David Campos and Mayor Ed Lee want guarantees that St. Luke’s will remain open for another 20 years, but CPMC seeks to retain flexibility in the matter. The SF Examiner reports:

“We have not been very optimistic based on the way in which CPMC and Sutter [Health] have approached this project,” said Supervisor David Campos, whose district includes St. Luke’s, which he and other city officials want to ensure remains open. But Campos said Wednesday supervisors heard enough from hospital officials Tuesday to merit “giving this another chance.”

In March, CPMC and the Mayor’s Office both thought that, after years of planning and negotiations, they finally had a deal, which included significant contributions by the Sutter Health-owned hospital group to community clinics, affordable housing and health care for the poor.

But Campos said concerns remain about the amount of charitable giving, affordable housing, traffic issues and a possible rise in health care costs. The main issue, he noted, is preserving St. Luke’s.

Last month, the Mayor’s Office said it had new information about CPMC finances that would put the hospital group closer to an escape clause in the deal, allowing it to abandon St. Luke’s. Hospital officials insisted they still would not reach the trigger, but Lee is now calling for a guarantee that St. Luke’s will remain open for at least 20 years.

Approval of the project’s developmental agreement, which includes the St. Luke’s trigger, is meanwhile being held up in committee.

“I think that that pause is probably very appropriate right now,” Lee said Wednesday, “to make sure that we’re making the right decision.”

PHOTO: St. Luke’s Hospital, as seen from Coleridge near Esmerelda, by sftrajan

Valiant Cat Defends Bernal Home from Swarming Raccoons

/ Todd_Lappin / 11 Comments

Feline Defender

The raccoon menace continues in Bernal Heights.

Last week, I looked up from dining room table to see a pack of FOUR (4) raccoons marching down the walkway in my back yard toward our home. Yet before I could get up from my chair, Smudge, our valiant male feline, dashed outside to secure the perimeter.

Arching his back, with his kitty-fur standing on end, Smudge took a stand on the back yard steps while transmitting an unmistakable message to the raccoons in a silent language that no human could hear: “NONE SHALL PASS!” he said.

A brief standoff ensued. The four raccoons glared at our cat, but Smudge did not budge. Then, after about a minute, the raccoons casually turned around and sauntered off in the other direction, away from our house and out of our yard. After the would-be invaders completely disappeared from view, brave Smudge returned to the house, curled up in his cat bed, and took a nap.

All in a day’s work.

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

Let’s Go for a Sutrito Tower Spin

/ Jobius (Joe Thomas)

Last week saw the launch of HYPNO SF, a thing whose Twitter bio says it’s “visually exploring + animating San Francisco” with crazy/amazing yo-yo videos of the Golden Gate Bridge, Market Street from the Ferry Building to the Castro, and more. These shots can be seen in the video for a song called Water Falls by Kalle Mattson, and and in animated GIF form. The gorgeous spinning shot of Sutro Tower at the end of the video really got my attention.

Why not try something similar for Bernal’s own Sutrito Tower, I thought. So, with my iPhone and bicycle, I set off to get some pictures.

Map image I had on my iPhone as a guide for taking pictures approximately the same distance from Sutrito Tower.

I figured that the hard part would be aligning and scaling the pictures, so I wanted to take them from close to the same distance from the tower. I had the map above open in Safari, and switched back and forth between that, Maps, and the Camera app. I ended up deviating from a circular path quite a bit, in order to get usable pictures:

Actual track taken. More or less. Reconstructed from embedded lat/longs in the pictures.

I got back and started aligning and stacking images. File, Save As, GIF, click the “animated GIF” (not “flatten”) radio button, and I soon had a 16 megabyte animated GIF. And it basically worked!

So that was a nice way to spend a Saturday.

This Young Bernal Entrepreneur Wants to Jog with Your Dog

/ Todd_Lappin / 5 Comments

Bernalwood supports our many merchants and businesses in Bernal Heights, and in that spirit we bring you this announcement from one of our more energetic local service providers:

My name is Enoch Pacheco. I’m a 14 year old resident of Bernal Heights who is providing a Dog Jogging Service for the Neigborhood. I heard about the blog you have by word of mouth and think it would be great if you could post an advertisement on your blog for the service that I provide.

The jogging session is done in your neighborhood when possible. My preference is to use nearby parks. My main goal is to provide your dog with the necessary exercise to keep their bones and joints in good health. Being cooped up in the house all day can lead to boredom, mischief and a severe lack of exercise. I look forward to hearing from you. Whether your dog needs a running or a fast paced walking service, he/she is sure to benefit from a daily fitness routine!

If this a service that may be of use to you, please dial the number on your screen:

Oh, and as for his other qualifications… Bernalwood’s research revealed that in 2011, Enoch broke a San Francisco AAA Middle school Track Record in the 400 Meter Dash, with a time of 58.90.

Hopefully, your dog can keep up with him.

PHOTOS: Enoch Pacheco, by his friend Shawn

Artist Creates Summer 2012 Field Guide to Bernal Heights Males

/ Todd_Lappin / 2 Comments

Neighbor Laurie brings us another one of her wonderful Bernal Heights watercolors. This time, she strayed from her usual focus on nature and wildlife to capture some anthropological insights about the plumage worn by human males, as seen recently on Bernal Hill:

Scanning some other things in my sketchbook last night, I discovered this sketch from the afternoon of July 4 that I had forgotten about. I was trying to use the same techniques for sketching walkers on the hill that I use for sketching birds in the wild: pick a typical pose, and add more details to the sketch each time the bird returns to that position. Also note some important details of coloring and position, and keep repeating them to yourself aloud so you can finish the sketch after the bird flies away (“neon green sweatband, neon green sweatband…”)

Revealed! The Incredible Reason Why Bigfoot Was in Bernal Heights Last Week

/ Todd_Lappin / 1 Comment

If you had asked me to describe my ultimate fantasy Bernalwood story one week ago, it would have been a celebrity Bigfoot sighting on Bernal Hill.

Well, as we all know, my wish came true last Tuesday, when Neighbor Frank did indeed photograph a genuine Bigfoot sighting on Bernal Hill.

That was cool. Yet it turns out that the only thing cooler than a Bigfoot sighting on Bernal Hill is the follow-up email I received the next day explaining what exactly Bigfoot was doing on Bernal Hill in the first place:

Neighbor Paul here (aka Paul da Plumber, on Alabama St at Precita). I love Bernalwood and I was delighted to see that Bigfoot’s escapades made the news!

The truth is out there. Bigfoot the Musical is in production. Bigfoot the Musical is a five act eco-love story musical about entropy. Scene 4 is a video segment in a live action musical play. Jesse Roadkill and Kelly Gallamore were filming scene 4 (“Bigfoot in the City”) when your photographs were taken.

Bigfoot the Musical is scheduled to appear on a traveling flotilla starting in Pittsburgh and continuing down the Ohio River. In San Francisco we plan to debut Bigfoot The Musical at Flora Grubb Gardens in mid October.

The short term goal is to get Bigfoot the Musical to Pittsburgh. In order to do that, we need to get the Kickstarter account for The Ohio River Project funded. The Kickstarter account closes Monday so any attention we could get it would be helpful.

Bigfoot would like to thank Neighbor Frank for the photograph. He`s been trying to get a sighting on Bernal for months, but until Tuesday he had not overcome his elusive nature.

Yes! You read that right. Bigfoot: The Musical. (!!!!) And even better, Bigfoot: The Musical is being produced in Bernal Heights! How glamorous! And even better still, Neighbor Paul sent us the promotional video.

So it is with great pride that Bernalwood is honored to debut the video segment from Scene 4 of Bigfoot: The Musical, in which we learn that Bigfoot spends a lot of time in Bernal Heights, and also shops locally. Bigfoot: He’s just like us!

Remember, that Kickstarter fund-drive ends today, so act now if you’d like to support the project.

Lastly, although the Bigfoot puzzle has now been solved, other local creatures remain shrouded in mystery. We now know what Bigfoot was doing in Bernal Heights. But what about the Bikini Jogger?

Like they say: The truth is out there.

Super-Chic Art Opening at Inclusions, Saturday

/ Todd_Lappin

Miss Lisa from the Inclusions Gallery on Cortland brings word of a glamorous art opening on Saturday evening:

Bay Area artist Sawyer Rose uses glass, metal and LED lights to create glowing, textured lightboxes. Painting with a soldering iron like a brush, she allows hot solder to set organically over thick architectural glass. Behind the glass, layered ink paintings are lit by tiny lights that shine like fireflies or stars. Rose’s current project is a series of lightboxes entitled “NATIVE: California Plants in Glass, Metal & Light.” The show also features a website with details about the California native species in the series. Rose will be donating 5% of proceeds to the California Native Plant Society from pieces depicting endangered species.

Sawyer Rose

NATIVE: California Plants in Glass Metal & Light
July 14 – August 12, 2012
Opening reception: Saturday, July 14 / 5:00-7:00 pm
Artist talk: thursday July 19 / 7:00 pm

Soviet Invasion Forces Uninterested in Bernal Heights

/ Todd_Lappin / 11 Comments

La Lengua separatist and rebel spokesblogger Burrito Justice recently found an interesting Cold War-era map of the San Francisco Bay Area that was produced by military cartographers in the former Soviet Union:

The Soviets (good god, that sounds weird now) went to town mapping the world for their Cold War needs. This particular SF map is 200000:1, but they detailed some cities to 25000:1, and others down to 10000:1, highlighting tank-friendly roads and important buildings.

The excerpt shown above (click to enlarge) suggests that Bernal Heights might have fared relatively well during a Soviet ground invasion. Notice, for example, that Cortland Ave. was not recommended as a tank-friendly transport route, while the Sutrito microwave telecommunications tower is not highlighted as a militarily significant structure.

So we’ve got that going for us.

IMAGE: Via Burrito Justice

New Blog Chronicles Flotsom Found on Eugenia Steps

/ Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

Neighbor Lee has started a blog to document “images of stuff that is left on Eugenia steps in Bernal Heights.” Lee tells Bernalwood:

For my own entertainment I am posting pictures of the junk I find on the Eugenia steps between Winfield and Prospect. The rule is: if the item is remotely useful to anyone I will leave it there for a while, otherwise I remove it. I only document junk left between Winfield and Prospect and I am not interested in anywhere else (sorry). I have to say: since I started the blog it feels like the volume of junk has dropped off. Maybe we need another 100 or so similar blogs for Bernal?

PHOTOS: Junk on Eugenia

Sell Your Extra Stuff at the 2012 Bernal Hillwide Garage Sale

/ Todd_Lappin / 5 Comments

Neighbor Lynn from the glamorous Bernal Business Alliance wants to give all the Citizens of Bernalwood a heads-up about the upcoming 2012 Bernal Hillwide Garage Sale. If you’ve been looking for an excuse (or an exogenous kick in the butt), this will be an excellent opportunity to declutter your crib:

We are just getting set up for the Hillwide Garage sale scheduled for August 11th, 2012, and we wanted to give Bernal residents advance notice that they can now get their garage listed on our super-duper Google Map – to avoid some of the last minute rush.

All of the details are on the BBA website. including the flyer and instructions on how to get their listing in place, which are as follows:

If you’d like to get onto our Hillwide Google map please email the following details to bernalbusiness AT gmail DOT com, no later than noon PT on Friday August 10th. Send us:

• the street address of where people can find you
• a short description of what you’ll have at your location (max 140 characters!)

There are no registration or listing fees, but we’d like to suggest that you make a donation of $5 (and up) to the BHNC using the donate button here.