Bernal Residents Will Want for Slurpees No More

June 9, 2011June 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

Though glamorous, Bernalwood is a small place. But we do not suffer here: We’ve got stunning views, amazing sushi, internationally recognized butchers, yummy piroshkis, hand-crafted cocktails… and all the amenities that befit a neighborhood of our haughty stature and global renown.

We’ve pretty much got it all… except for Slurpees.

Alas, there is currently no place for Bernalwoodians to go to get that distinctive Slurpee mix of semifrozen water, high-fructose corn syrup, and searing cranial pain. That will soon change, thanks to the kingpins at 7-Eleven, who have seen fit to endow us with a 7-Eleven store of our very own! (So long as we don’t mind sharing it with the Vassals of La Lengua.)

The new 7-Eleven will join our neighborhood on Mission Street at 30th. Apart from Slurpees, they will also sell inexpensive hot dogs, taquitos in several unholy flavors, and Big Gulp fountain drinks served in cups so large that many Bernal residents will be able to repurpose them for use as above-ground swimming pools. Woo-hoo!

PHOTOS: Top, Slurpee mosaic by Tom Magliery Bottom, Reader Colette.

There Is a Glamorous New Mini-Park on Bernal Hill

June 9, 2011June 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 10 Comments

Contrary to the way it may appear, that spiffy area of freshly landscaped land on the northeast corner of Bernal Hill (on Bernal Heights Boulevard between Carver and Bradford) is NOT part of the new house that sits right behind it.

Rather, it’s a new public park on public land created by a group of volunteers called Friends of Bernal Gardens. The project is called Vista Pointe Gardens, and after months of unpaid hard work, the build-out is complete.

Readers who are not native to Bernalwood might be forgiven for saying, “Yeah. Cute. Nice lanscaping. Whatever.”

That would be a mistake, however, because the locals all know the tip: Our new Vista Pointe offers a multi-billion dollar view of downtown San Francisco, in a comfy parquito that will provide a nice alternative to the unmanicured wilds of Bernal Hill. Put another way, this is a superb new location for simple picnics, sunset Happy Hours, or hipster weddings.

So Vista Pointe is pretty fabulous. Savor it, enjoy the view, protect it, and THANK YOU to everyone who helped make this happen.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Hat Tip: @MrCleanSF

“Sweeter Maid” Pleads for Mercy from Street Vandals

June 9, 2011June 9, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 2 Comments

Among a certain tribe of San Franciscans, ex-meter maid motorcarts provide an ideal form of urban transportation. Sold as surplus by Bay Area cities and municipalities, the motorcarts are cheap, easy to park, and affordable to drive. But the vehicles do come with one big downside: They tend to attract a lot of graffiti from anti-establishment vandals who (not unreasonably) view the motorcarts as instruments of The Man.

The owner of this former meter-maid motorcart in North Bernal hopes to avoid that fate with an artist-to-artist appeal for mercy. Good luck with that.

Bernal Hill Sketch Leaves Much to the Imagination

June 8, 2011June 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin

Any shutterbug with a cameraphone and a functioning index finger can take a pretty good photo from atop Bernal Hill, which is why I so appreciated this recent sketch posted to the Bernalwood Flickr group by 29 year-old artist Lisa Hsia. Creating this took some real skillz! But most of all I love the way it leaves so much to the imagination.

On her blog, Lisa writes:

I got tired after doing just the buildings you see in the sketch, so I left it at that. I’m sure there is a quicker and more sweeping way to depict the scene than my approach of drawing every single building, but I wanted to nod to the tiny, impermanent, toylike appearance of the neighborhood from so high up.

Meanwhile, In New Zealand…

June 8, 2011June 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin

Posers!

Public outrage has apparently won out as Wellington Airport backed down from plans to erect a giant “Welllywood” across a hillside overlooking New Zealand’s capital city.

“The sign has always been about putting Wellington firmly on the map as a film-tourism destination and the process to date has exceeded our expectations of international media coverage,” Wellington Airport Chief Executive Steve Fitzgerald said in a statement Wednesday. “The name Wellywood was chosen from a process 15 months ago, but clearly has opposition. For this reason, we have decided to put options through a community selection process.”

Meanwhile, I’ve been working up a few branding/redecorating concepts for Bernal Heights. To honor our friends from Oceania, here’s one with a Down Under theme:

Hat tip: @rx

SHOCKING!!! Freakish “Mossquatch” Discovered in Bernal!!!

June 8, 2011June 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 7 Comments

The BIA’s Agent Aaron has either discovered a classic example of the Bernalwood creative impulse, OR a mutant form of hybrid Bryophyta-Homo Sapien life that could earn him a National Enquirer cover story… if not a Nobel Prize.

Aaron writes:

Spotted this creative use of the meter reading hole on the corner of Bocana & Eugenia today and thought we would share it — this is what we love about Bernalwood!

Take a closer look, and here’s what you see…

Now, let’s peek inside… IF YOU DARE!!!!

Prediction: Mossquatch is embraced as folk hero by Bernal Heights vegans, becomes raw food spokesmonster, develops political aspirations, defeats David Campos (the “rumored omnivore”) for D9 Supervisor’s seat, serves two terms in Board of Supes, runs for Mayor of San Francisco, and, after hard-fought campaign, elected by mudslide in 2019.

You heard it here first.

PHOTOS: Agent Aaron

Al’s Cafe Now “Super,” Reopening on Friday

June 7, 2011June 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 5 Comments

While pursuing the mystery of the Melody Cafe, Reader Colette also captured some high-quality intel on the future of Al’s Cafe Good Food, a few blocks to the north:

In other news, on my walk I happened upon the new manager of Al’s Cafe Good Food. The place does look much cleaner, and the manager was very nice to let me come in and take a look around. They have a wall with some interesting Hollywood murals on it, which they are trying very hard to save. (I never noticed them before because there was so much stuff inside.) And he said they are hoping to open this week. The Chef is someone who has worked in the hotel business in the past. I told him the restaurant had been much talked about in the Bernalwood Blog, and he was very excited to read about it.

UPDATE!

BIA Agent Otto brings the detail:

They have the new menu on the door, similar to the old one, a little different, and it says they are opening Friday June 10 as Al’s Super Cafe.

UPDATE 2:

I walked by this evening, and it does indeed look like Al’s Super Cafe is almost ready for business. Note the bottles of ketchup on each table, ready for duty!

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Beware and Celebrate the Entrenchment of Precita Avenue

June 7, 2011June 7, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 7 Comments

Our Bernalwood brothas and sistas over on Bocana had to suffer through the process back in February, and now it’s Precita Avenue’s turn…

Hooray for new infrastructure! The residents of Precita west of Folsom will soon get a sporty new sewer pipe running right down the center of the street AND all-new asphalt to cover it all up. (Trivia Fun Fact: The current sewer pipe is over 100 years old.)

But first, Precitans must endure lots of noise, dirt, limited access and — if they’re really, really, really lucky — maybe even the occasional poopy-water plume.

Construction on Precita began yesterday, and will likely take a month to complete. Until then, residents are advised to remain calm and perhaps wear earplugs, while visitors may want to avoid transiting through that part of Precita this month to prevent construction-related delays. Keep Calm, Carry On, and all that.

Besides, the way-more massive entrenchment of Cesar Chavez Boulevard is slated to start soon, and that will make this business on Precita look like a sandbox play date.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Meet the SFPD’s New Top Cop for Bernal Heights

June 7, 2011June 6, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

There’s a new commander at the SFPD’s Ingleside Station, which means there’s a new top cop with jurisdiction over Bernalwood. Here’s how Captain Daniel J. Mahoney introduced himself on the station website:

I am very proud and honored to have been selected by Chief Suhr to be the new Commanding Officer of the Ingleside Police District. As you know, Ingleside is a large, diverse area with a mixed community comprising of business, residential and educational institutions.

I wish to thank my predecessor, Captain Louis Cassanego, for the outstanding job he did while assigned here. I heard many accolades from community members about him and am keenly aware that I have big shoes to fill.

My background is diverse as well consisting of managerial assignments in Patrol, Investigations, Administration and Risk Management Operations. I am a 29-year veteran at the young age of 50 and have been previously assigned to Ingleside Station as a new Lieutenant in 2000. I am acutely aware of Ingleside’s landscape, its policing challenges and its STRONG community involvement. I hold both a Masters and a Baccalaureate Degree in Management. I have successfully completed the Senior Management Institute for Police taught by the academics from Harvard’s John F. Kennedy School of Government and am currently completing coursework from the POST Command College.

Going forward, I plan on instilling a strong sense of community policing to the 112 members under my command. I embrace evidence-based policing techniques (identifying trends and attacking hot-spots) and strongly favor a customer service attitude.

Here’s a good email address to keep handy:

I am very accessible and can be contacted either at the Station or through my e-mail address: daniel.j.mahoney@sfgov.org.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics and SFPD

Hat Tip: The ever-vigilant Serogers

Signs of Life Inside the Mysterious Melody Cafe on Mission

June 6, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 7 Comments

Reader Andrew regularly walks by the site of the former Coco Cafe, at the corner of Mission Street and Eugenia. He says that while there’s a new sign outside, progress inside seems to be veeeeery slllllooooowwww:

Can you do an investigation on Melody Cafe.. aka old Coco Cafe on Mission? Have you noticed that Melody Cafe has been under construction for almost a year? I am beginning to suspect that maybe they are developing a subterranean Mega cafe network.

Luckily I do work. But occasionally I am in the ‘hood during the afternoon and never see anyone there. No one on weekends. But it is slowly creeping towards completion… of some sort.

Another observation… who ever is working on it likes coffee and Coke. There is always a cup or bottle on the counter.

His girlfriend, Reader Colette, sent along our photo, along with a first-hand sighting of humanoid creatures inside:

I was very surprised to see the lights on, and two people inside working. They had their backs turned and were discussing something very seriously. I did not want to interrupt, and so have missed a golden opportunity to solve the mystery right then and there! But perhaps other blog followers will be able to shed some light on this mysterious cafe.

Anyone have any insight on what’s in store for the Melody Cafe? This is a job for the BIA!

PHOTO: Reader Colette

Alemany Flea Market Report: Early June 2011

June 6, 2011June 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 1 Comment

I had a few minutes to spare on Sunday morning en route to taking Bernalwood’s Cub Reporter to a birthday party in Sunnyside, so we made a quick detour into the Alemany flea market to sample the selection.

Despite the threat of rain, it seemed as though the summer season is starting to kick in, as the supply of merchandise was decidedly more interesting than it has been in weeks past.

The goodies above caught my eye, but the Cub Reporter found herself smitten by an old 45 record.

She’d just learned about “records” at preschool, she explained, and this one had a rainbow on the label, and what could possibly be finer? So for 50 cents, she got her very first 45. The A Side is “Him” by Rupert Holmes. Thank god we don’t own a record player.

I was quite taken by a GIANT aerial photograph of San Francisco International Airport taken in ~~1967 or 1968~~ the early 1960s. It was mounted on a heavy metal frame, and it was fascinating. (Cub Reporter shown for scale.)

The detail was excellent! Check out the terminal complex, which did not yet include Terminal 3 (nor, of course, the International Terminal). SFO’s central parking garage hadn’t been built yet either. (Click here for a close-up enlargement.)

The price was tempting — asking $100. But after some inner turmoil, I decided to pass, if only because the piece was so freaking BIG that I’m not sure where I could put it.

Instead, I settled for this circa 1976 Mighty Tonka dump truck. It was one of of the older, all-steel models, with only minor surface rust, and a prime candidate for resurrection as one of our Kustom Tonka hot rods. Plus, it was just $9. The Cub Reporter made me promise to share it. “Deal!” I told her.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Did This Man Steal Your Succulent?

June 6, 2011June 5, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 45 Comments

Last week’s post about succulent theft prompted many Bernal residents to report that they too had been the victims of larcenous pruning. But who are the culprits? What kind of person steals plants from residential yards???

The guy shown above is a prime suspect. Reader X of the Bernalwood Intelligence Agency photographed this man shortly after he clipped a plant from a West Bernal yard last week. Our agent writes:

I witnessed this older man cutting succulents at the intersection of Coso, Montezuma and Mirabel at 8:50am. I asked him to stop, took his photo and watched him walk home to a yellow 4 story apt building on Cesar Chavez, 4 buildings east of Mission and next to the red building with the “Chicken John” mural. Provided all this info to the Ingelside police station but they refused to send a car and after 20 minutes finally gave me an email address so I could send the photo. Said they would look into it starting on Monday!

If you have any other info about the thefts please call Ingelside at 404-4000 and email Inspector Philips at shawn.philips@sfgov.org

Photo: Reader X
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Totally Insane “Eye of the Storm” Sunset on Saturday

June 4, 2011June 5, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 5 Comments

In cased you missed it, sunset on Saturday evening was crazy off-the-hook for serious. Bernal Hill provided (per usual) an excellent vantage point from which to view the madness, which was caused by the same whack-job storm system that give us last night’s record-setting June (!!!) rainfall. (Sing along: “Kooooyaaaaaaanisqatsiiiiii”)

This weather front is bonkers, but it is also extremely well organized, spinning out in a spiral-shaped pinwheel that put Bernalwood in the eye of the storm right around sunset: