Rainbow Barrage Pummels Bernal Heights With Euphoric Energy, Unicorn Glitter

If you found yourself experiencing moments of inexplicable euphoria and joy yesterday, it was certainly no coincidence: Bernal Heights was pummeled by a barrage of Category Five Rainbow Events during all those sporadic rainstorms.

While Bernalwood activated the Rainbow Situation Control Facility to monitor the action yesterday, fulltime Bernal-watcher Chris Baker shared this photo of a South Bernal Rainbow Impact Event he documented from his Noe Valley observation post.  Here’s a closeup of the impact zone:


Naturally, there may be some residual unicorn glitter on our streets and sidewalks today, so take it slow, be happy, and take it easy out there. Like this…

Good Morning, Bernal Heights

Good morning, Bernal Heights! It’s a lovely almost-winter morning here, as verified by resident Bernal-watcher (and early-riser) Christopher Baker, who lives in Noe Valley.

The photo he shared with us this morning is rather gorgeous, so all Bernalese are encouraged to keep this image in mind as you make your way through the day.

Thank you, Christopher!

XXL Supermoon Looked Supercool From Bernal Heights

Did you notice the moon last night? It looked rather XXL in last night’s clear skies — so much so that you might have been tempted to say, “That’s no moon… it’s a space station!” But no, it was really just the moon,  at the apogee of its orbit around the Earth, creating a visual effect known as a supermoon.

The XXL effect was still in place as the sun rose this morning, when Neighbor Steve snapped this wonderful photo of the moon alongside Sutro Tower. Lovely!

Seasonal Transition Alert! Bernal Hill Engreening Now In Progress

After all the rain during the last week, Bernal Hill has started its annual transition from Brown Mode to Green Mode.

Early this morning, Neighbor Sarah shared this glorious photo taken from the top of Bernal Hill.  Astute observers will note the presence of a verdant peachfuzz lining the surface of the hill.

All Bernalese are advised to expect continued engreening in the weeks and months ahead, as the grasses grow taller and Bernal Hill takes on a more lush and full-bodied demeanor.

Hail the rains! Hail the green!

Rare Eclipse Draws Curious Humans to Bernal Hill

Did you see it? Did you see yesterday’s once-in-a-lifetime eclipse?

Bernal Hill was an obvious observation post for plenty of keen eclipse-spotters:

Sexxxy blackout eclipse glasses were totally de rigeur:

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Although some people went for a more Brutalist “box-head” look:

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The human-watching was pretty good too. Here’s a 2017 edition of Humans of Bernal Hill Watching the Eclipse:

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#watching the #watchers #eclipse

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Of course, it being Fogust, Karl the Fog showed up too, to hog the view:

Yet there was still a view, and the humans who came to Bernal Hill to view the eclipse left satisfied:

It’s Official: Karl the Fog Loves Bernal Heights, Wants to Visit More Often

Karl rests before visiting Bernal Hill in Fogust, 2014.

It’s August, which is often called Fogust around town, for reasons that shouldn’t be hard to understand if you look out your window right now.

From street level, the seasonal fog that descends upon San Francisco is cold and dismal, but in recent years it’s also become hilariously funny, thanks to @KarlTheFog, the pseudonymous Twitter account that has given our signature weather pattern a name, a voice, and a vastly more lovable persona.

Some recent examples:

Of course, most of Bernal Heights lies in the City’s “Banana Belt,” the swath of eastern neighborhoods that Karl the Fog visits somewhat less frequently. Nevertheless, we’ve always suspected that Karl has a misty soft-spot for Bernal Heights, and that’s now been officially confirmed.

This week, San Francisco Chronicle reporter Heather Knight published an exclusive celebrity interview with Karl the Fog, which included the remarkable revelation that of all the neighborhoods in San Francisco, Karl the Fog loves us best.

Check it out:

Q: What are your favorite San Francisco neighborhoods and haunts?

Karl: Obviously I spend a lot of time on the western side of the city, but some of my favorite neighborhoods outside that area are La Lengua (the section of the Mission bounded by 24th, 30th, Mission and Guerrero streets) and Bernal Heights. Great people out there. I can’t reach them often, but when I do, it’s worth it.

Awwwwww. Thanks Karl! We love you too! Although, to be honest, we think our relationship tends to work best when we maintain a little distance.

PHOTO: Top, Fogust 2014, by Telstar Logistics

Colorful Sunrise Bathes Bernal in Magical Light

From my home in the North Bernal lowlands, I noticed this morning that the sunrise was creating some fiery orange reflections on the glass of a few downtown high-rises.

It was a lovely scene, but from his vantage point in Noe Valley,  Bernalspotter Christopher Baker had an even more glamorous view of this morning’s colorful sunrise — because it highlighted us.

Welcome to the new week, Bernal Heights!

PHOTO: Courtesy of Christopher Baker

Wacky Weather Brings Hail and Rainbows to Bernal Heights

The cold, wet weather that lingered over Bernal Heights this weekend delivered a schizophrenic mix of conditions that left many Bernalese skywatchers feeling bemused.

The Bernalwood Rainbow Situation Control Facility was activated and on full alert all weekend, so we were prepared with a Euphoria Response Team when science superstar Neighbor Dena snapped the arctastic photo of a Category 5 rainbow (with 2x bonus corona) from the north side of Bernal Hill on Sunday afternoon.

Before that, Bernal was pummeled by a rare series of hailstorms the sent gazillions of pea-sized ice pebbles crashing onto Bernalese roofs and hardscapes.

Esoteric Scientific Fact: Hailstones in Bernal Heights are created when damp unicorn sweat collides with superchilled marine-layer air during winter months. There. Now you know.

All told, it was a day of many meteorological marvels, with alternating periods of sun and intense precipitation. Neighbor Stephan tweeted out a fabulous time-lapse video that documented the confused nature of our cloudscape:

PHOTO: Top, rainbow above Bernal Hill by @denadubai

Epic Rains Trigger Mini-Mudslide on Bernal Hill

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Heavy rains over the weekend triggered a mini-mudslide on Bernal Hill, along the south side of Bernal Heights Boulevard, just east of Ellsworth.

Neighbor Fiid shared this photo of the washed out segment of the slope, and from this angle is looks like Bernal Hill is trying to reclaim the roadway. Which, in a geological sense, it most certainly is.

UPDATE: Bernalwood dispatched the Mobile Uplink Miata to the slide scene this morning. Here’s a complete daylight view: 


In addition, there are many smaller slides and mud flumes visible all over Bernal Hill, so tread carefully to avoid slipping and/or exacerbating soil erosion. 

“Good Morning Bernalwood”

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“Good Morning Bernalwood.”

That’s the message we got earlier today –  along with this image  — courtesy of Christopher Baker, Bernal’s photographically inclined fanboy in Noe Valley. Thanks Christopher!

Oh, and it really was a beautiful sunrise. Did anyone else notice how the color of the color of the light matched the hue of the plum blossoms that are popping right about now? Just for one magnificently ephemeral moment? Wonderful.

Separately, your Bernalwood editor has been arguing recently that winter is the finest season to be in San Francisco – and not just because the skiing on Bernal Hill tends to be excellent. Winter here means no fog, green grass, fragrant air, warm days, occasional hygge-inducing rainstorms, Rainbow Alerts, and so many other unique seasonal charms. Would you agree? Please discuss.

PHOTO: Bernal Hill on February 15, 2017, by Christopher Baker

New “Lake Alemany” Entices Local Media and Watersports Enthusiasts

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After several days of nonstop rain, Lake Alemany has taken form beneath the 101-280 “Spaghetti Bowl,” in southeast Bernal, and the new reservoir quickly attracted the attention of local television crews.

Neighbor John was also on the scene at Bernal’s own version of the Salton Sea, and he reports that Lake Alemany is 1-2 feet deep in the middle, and about 30′ wide. Here’s a close-up:

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No word yet on whether the Recreation and Parks Department plans to open Lake Alemany for bumper-wakeboarding and alligator hunting, but Bernal residents are advised to keep their air boats, amphibious vehicles, and fishing equipment at the ready, just in case.

PHOTO: Courtesy of Neighbor John

Steady Rains Give Way to Euphoric Rainbow Barrage

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On the bright side, after a week of rain, the Citizens of Bernalwood yesterday experienced a Category 3 Rainbow Alert, as a break in the storm pattern gave way to a few moments of sun.

Yesterday, Christopher Baker, your resident Bernal-spotter in Noe Valley, snapped the sexxxy photo you see above. “I kept waiting for it to move over the top of hill,” Christopher says. “Rainbow decided it was happy just where it was.”

Meanwhile, in Bernal, Neighbor K. shared this reverse view of a rainbow touching down somewhere near Christopher’s Noe Valley observation post:

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@MLukeMc captured this scene of a full-arc double rainbow showering The Mission with unicorn glitter:

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Here’s another view from Neighbor Dennis:


Neighbor Dan, who lives across the street from me, saw a rainbow beautifying our local artisanal auto workshoppes:

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… and back in Noe Valley, Christopher shared this photo; taken at sunrise this morning. Welcome to a new day, Bernal Heights!

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PHOTOS: Thanks for everyone credited above for shared your photos of this Rainbow Alert

Big Winter Storm Knocks Down Trees Around Bernal Heights

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None shall pass! Neighbor Amy encounters the tree blocking Bernal Heights Blvd.

The big winter storm that blew through San Francisco on Sunday generally spared Bernal Heights from too much biblical-grade havoc, but it did get the best of our trees (and a few parked cars). Luckily, no one was injured.

The leafy mayhem kicked off on the Richland Avenue, where Neighbor Audra shared this photo of a big limb that fell across the Bernal Cut bridge, cutting off access to our ancestral kin in Bernal-Glen:

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DPW quickly cleared the branch from the Richland bridge (thank you!), but that was not the end of our arboreal mayhem.

Neighbor Darcy shared this photo of a tree eating a Nissan on the 100 block of Bradford, near Powhattan:

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On Wool Street, Neighbor Bernard reports that a tree had it out for this Audi:

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The Revenge of the Trees continued in Precita Park, where Neighbor Maria captured another tree munching on the hood of a Mazda, as a neighbor raised her fist in solidarity with the fallen foliage:

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But the biggest drama unfolded on the south side of Bernal Hill, where a very big tree fell across Bernal Heights Boulevard, rendering our scenic artery impassable. Neighbor Markus shared a dramatic photo of the fallen tree’s root structure:

treedown-markusMeanwhile, on the western side of the roadblock, Neighbor James captured a neighbor pausing for a stylish moment of chaos chic. Never mind the Golden Globes; What’s the it-look for Bernal Heights storm-chasing in 2017?  Why, it’s slip-on sneakers, cranberry tights, and a slim-fitting winter coat in navy — obviously!

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