Test Drive an Electric Bike on the Fearsome Folsom Challenge

March 30, 2012March 31, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 3 Comments

The New Wheel, that newfangled shop on Cortland that sells those newfangled electric bikes, is having their grand opening celebration this weekend.

There’s a party in the store at 420 Cortland on Sunday night from 6 to 9 pm, but before that, from 5 to 6 pm on Sunday, the New Wheel is offering everyone in the neighborhood the opportunity to test drive an electric bike on the (fearsome) Folsom Street Challenge.

Yes, that’s right. The New Wheel has picked up the gauntlet Bernalwood threw down last January by making a few of their electric bikes available for you to take straight up that crazy-steep part of Folsom Street:

Let’s take a more technical look, courtesy of Strava:

Store owner Brett Thurber is confident his machines are up to the challenge, and if you know any fixie-loving hipsters who want to go head-to-head with an electric bike in a John Henry-style race to the top, by all means bring them along too. (TIP: Don’t tell said hipsters how the story ended badly for John Henry.)

To participate, meet up at the corner of Precita and Folsom beginning at 5 pm on Sunday, and hopefully, Mother Nature will cooperate.

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

A Brief History of Peralta Avenue’s Discontinuity Problem

March 26, 2012January 10, 2014 / Jobius (Joe Thomas) / 18 Comments

If you live on Peralta Avenue in Bernal Heights, you’re probably used to getting phone calls from lost delivery drivers. They’ve managed to find the 200 block, you’re in the 500 block; how many obstacles could there be between you?

Turns out, there are a lot. That staircase on the right is the 400 block of Peralta. But how did Peralta “Avenue” end up in no fewer than eight non-contiguous segments? In theory, it was supposed to be a (mostly) continuous street:

That’s a 1924 Rand McNally map, courtesy of David Rumsey. Peralta and Esmeralda are highlighted. These roads existed mostly on paper, as planned improvements. Note that “paper” Esmeralda runs right over the top of Bernal Hill: Sutrito Tower would be at the intersection of Esmeralda and Shotwell. Fourteen years later, these roads remained wisely unbuilt:

Harrison Ryker’s aerial photos via David Rumsey and Google Earth. The actual built portion of Peralta by 1938 was a nice, contiguous three blocks running parallel to, and uphill from, Precita and Army.

The paper streets remained on the maps, but by the 1940s, city planners had begun to distinguish paper streets from real ones by using dotted lines — as seen in this 1948 map, courtesy Eric Fischer:

Unlike Esmeralda, paper Peralta was eventually built, basically along the planned lines — except for where it wasn’t built at all. Parts of it are too steep to be anything but stairs; this was likely made worse when the cross streets were blasted out flat.

Bernal Dads Make Their Bizarre Race Car Even More Strange

March 22, 2012March 22, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

If you happened to look out your window at just the right moment last Saturday, you might have seen a bizarre spectacle streaking through Bernal Heights. It was a red(ish) automobile adorned with an ill-fitting Volvo body, “Bernalwood” emblazoned on the hood, and no license plates. It was moving swiftly, so if you blinked, you might have missed it entirely.

Actually, that was part of the plan. The vehicle was The Molvo, the mutant Mazda Miata-Volvo 240 hybrid fabricated by those diabolical dads from the Bernal Dads Racing Team. Saturday’s dash across Bernal Heights was a ferry run to move the Molvo from it’s top secret storage space to the Dads’s top secret garage workshop. You see, there’s a big car race at Infinion Raceway in Sonoma this weekend, and the Bernal Dads needed to make sure the Molvo was ready for competition.

But in the case of The Molvo, “ready for competition” doesn’t mean tuning the engine or tweaking the suspension. All that stuff is great, because within the Molvo’s mangled Volvo body shell lies a fully intact Mazda Miata, and the Miata is a fine race car even without any significant modification.

No, the problem with The Molvo is that it carries around about 800 pounds of unwieldy extra weight — in the form of all that goofy Volvo station wagon bodywork. So a plan was hatched to put The Molvo on a revolutionary weight-loss program:

So what does it look like now? Suffice to say, after all the sparks stopped flying, the Dads surveyed their handiwork and began calling their mutated mutant race car “The Molvochero.”

Tomorrow morning, The Bernal Dads will load The Molvochero and the team’s other race car, The Whale, onto trailers for an ad hoc parade down Cortland. From there they will head north, to Infineon Raceway, to set up camp in preparation for this weekend’s 24 Hours of LeMons “Sears Pointless 2012” race on Saturday and Sunday. I’ll tweet updates from the Bernalwood Twitter account, and Car and Driver magazine will provide coverage on their special LeMons website.

Wish the Bernal Dads luck (because they’ll need it).

PHOTOS: Top two, Telstar Logistics. Bottom, David Spector

Newfangled Electric Bicycle Shop Opens on Cortland

March 7, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 14 Comments

Last weekend, The New Wheel opened at last at 420 Cortland. As previously reported, The New Wheel is a newfangled kind of bicycle shop, specializing in electric bikes that effectively “flatten” San Francisco hills — including our own Bernal Hill. The awesome posters inside the store illustrate this idea:

From the New Wheel website:

What should an electric bike be like? It should be easy to operate and maintain, like a bicycle. It should elegantly and seamlessly combine pedal power with a silent, powerful electric motor. It should be practical, designed to match the utility of an automobile. And it should be built of high quality components that will last. The New Wheel sells electric bikes that exceed the highest expectations.

The design of the shop is lovely, inside and out. I dropped by during The New Wheel’s opening party on Friday night, and introduced myself to store owner Brett Thurber:

Mr. Thurber was predictably giddy, and excited to be here at last. He also tells us there will be opportunities coming up soon to witness the hill-climbing power of the products he sells. In the meantime, do stop in, say hello, and check out the wares.

PHOTOS: Posters, by The Real WBTC. All others, Telstar Logistics

Eye in the Sky: Airborne with the Bernalwood Air Force

March 6, 2012March 8, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 19 Comments

Last weekend the Cub Reporter and I had the opportunity to take to the skies with the Bernalwood Air Force for a routine observation and reconnaissance flight over the Bernal Heights motherland.

The skies were clear blue, Bernal Hill was verdant green, and because it was warm out, everyone was outside to enjoy the day. We cruised over Cortland, waving imperially at our neighbors below:

We saw people walking along the northwest corner of Bernal Heights Boulevard:

Nearby, our new neighbors from the Helipad House were enjoying some sunbathing on their glamorous roof deck:

Our technocrat friends at the City Rec and Park department will probably appreciate the documentation we collected about Bernal’s ad hoc trail network, and its myriad redundancies:

Look closely, and you can almost see the analysts working feverishly inside the secret Bernalwood Command Center, located 300 feet below Sutrito Tower:

While we were airborne, we received orders over the radio to undertake an urgent new mission: An aerial survey of the La Lengua Autonomous Zone!

Researchers from the Bernalwood Intelligence Agency had identified the likely location of the La Lengua Rebel Command Compound (LaLeRebCoCo), hidden deep in the heart of La Lenguan territory, between Mission and San Jose Streets. In 3 minutes we were over the target area. We circled to take a look, and captured the money shot. Behold:

Mission Accomplished! We loitered for a few final moments to take in some unusual perspectives on Bernal Hill:

And then, saturated with happy views and a lifetime of material for goofy Photoshop image-manipulation stunts, we returned to base.

UPDATE, 10:24 pm: In response to the Bernalwood Air Force overflight, the La Lengua rebels have put in place a high-tech burrito-based air defense system!

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Coming and Going from Bernal Heights by Caltrain

February 8, 2012February 8, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 10 Comments

Riding Caltrain to work each morning, I engage in a sad little ritual which involves gazing at our pretty little hill out the window of a commuter train that’s carrying me away from home.

It’s a moment that always feels somewhat wistful and more than a little cheesy — kind of like the emotion one gets from that old video of “Faithfully” by Journey. The photo above shows how one such morning looked a few weeks ago.

On the bright side, I come back again each night, and now that the days are getting longer again, I sometimes return before Bernal Heights is hidden in darkness. And that feels great: Home again.

Here’s how that homecoming moment looked last night, as Bernal Hill played peekaboo with some brooding clouds and a fiery orange sunset:

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Remembering Bernal’s Back Yard Motocross Track

February 3, 2012February 3, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

Bernal Heights old-timers sometimes grumble that the neighborhood used to be a more wild and wooly place, back in the day. And that may be true. But “back in the day” wasn’t really all that long ago. For example, did you know that Bernal Heights was once home to a private motocross raceway? And that this raceway was in operation as recently as 2007?!

The track was located on a loooooong, narrow yard on Alabama Street near Precita Park, and the homeowner at the time was James Sidwell. He tells Bernalwood:

I operate Superplush Suspension, a motorcycle suspension shop in Dogpatch.

I owned that house for ten years. We built a pretty good minbike track with the leftover yard space out back. Around fourth of July, I would have an annual BBQ and XR 100 race out in the yard. We cooked pork shoulder from 5am, brought in a keg of Pabst, and ran laps till dark.

There were injuries, kids playing, a good time had by all. The neighbors were great, since we mandated stock quiet exhausts and only ran all day once a year, at the party.

As proof, here’s some footage shot during the 2007 Bernal Heights 500. (Extra bonus, kids on a trampoline!) How’s that for city living?

The Mysterious New Store at 420 Cortland, REVEALED!

January 19, 2012January 18, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

For weeks, mystery has surrounded the newly renovated storefront at 420 Cortland Street. Word on the street was that a tenant had been found. But who?! And what?!

Then, a clue appeared… in the form of a question mark:

Then, weeks later, came… another question mark!

Two question marks! One, containing a bicycle wheel. The other, in the form of an electrical cord. So many questions.

Well, we have answers. Or, at least a partial answer. Or, most of an answer, with a few questions still outstanding. Allow us to explain…

Through the patient hard work of the Bernalwood Signals Intelligence Group, we have learned that 420 Cortland will soon become the storefront for a merchant specializing in the sale of electric bicycles.

Specifically, 420 Cortland will become the new home of the business now known as The New Wheel, which today operates from 782 Columbus Avenue in North Beach. On The New Wheel blog, there is an announcement:

We are in the process of completely re-imagining The New Wheel. Three big changes are afoot:

1. New Location: We are moving to a beautiful 1100 sq. ft. space at 420 Cortland Avenue in sunny Bernal Heights. Mark your calendars for our opening party March 2 and stay tuned for more news and updates!

2. New People: For the past year, The New Wheel has been run day to day by founder Brett Thurber. Joining Brett for this new expansion is his partner Karen Wiener, along with a full time mechanic.

3. New Products: We will be carrying a growing roster of the best electric bikes available, along with a selection of urban transportation products from the likes of Brooks, Ortlieb, Fjällräven, Rickshaw, Abus, and Burley. Stay tuned for more news!

But wait: What’s an electric bike?

Our research turned up these product photographs, which illustrate the concept:

Also…

Basically, an electric bicycle is a pedal-driven bike that uses a battery-powered electric motor to provide supplemental propulsion when desired — say, when climbing big-ass San Francisco hills. Conveniently, this also explains the riddle posed by the new shop’s teaser website, which asks:

Get it? You put a bike shop on a hill to underscore the fact that you sell a different kind of bicycle.

To flesh out the details of our story, Bernalwood decided to commit some journalism. We telephoned Brett Thurber, the founder of The New Wheel, to learn more of his plans.

Mr. Thurber proved to be friendly fellow, and he took it well when informed that Bernalwood had pierced the mystery of his shop’s main product. But he assures us that he still has some surprises up his sleeve.

For example, he hinted that the shop may get a new name. And that he has some interesting promotional events planned between now and the store’s March opening date. So we’ll have to wait and see. Which is fine.

Then Bernalwood gave Mr. Thurber the lay of the land. We told him that given the nature of his product, there is only one mystery that the residents of Bernal Heights truly want to know:

Do his electric bicycles have sufficient mojo to ascend the fearsome Folsom Street hill??

Can they climb the hill with style and grace?? And, in a matchup against a typical fixie-riding Mission hipster, would Mr. Thurber’s electrically-assisted bicycles defeat said hipster in a head-to-head race to the summit??

Mr. Thurber expressed confidence that his product can both master Folsom Street and vanquish the hipster. We shall see…

A View of Bernalwood From Outer Space (on Christmas Eve)

January 10, 2012January 10, 2012 / Todd_Lappin / 1 Comment

When he is not fomenting regional separatism and geopolitical intrigue, La Lengua rebel propagandist Burrito Justice is also a bit of a stargazer. Recently, he tracked down an infrared photo of the Bay Area that was taken from the International Space Station on Christmas Eve, 2011.

The image above shows the greater Bay Area, but Burrito Justice did that zoom-rotate-and-enhance-it thing to generate a tight shot of San Francisco. He says:

In SF, 280 and 101 barely register, but surface streets like Mission, Ocean, 19th, Geary and 3rd are clear, as are the towers of the Golden Gate Bridge. McLaren Park and Twin Peaks are easy to see — I think I can make out Bernal too.

Indeed you can! Here’s a little pointer, for reference:

PHOTOS: Burrito Justice

Futuristic Airship Scouts Locations for Bernal Air Terminal

December 23, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 3 Comments

Neighbor Catherine spotted the Airship Ventures Zeppelin NT yesterday as it made an early-evening cruise over Bernalwood. She says:

“Blimp, Bernal, Sunset…. Ooooh!”

Ooooh! Definitely. But “blimp?” Well, not quite. For those keeping score at home, the Zeppelin is a rigid-framed, steerable dirigible, not a balloon-like blimp. (For a closer look at this Zeppelin, here are some photos I took during a flight aboard it in 2008.)

But what was the Zeppelin doing over Bernal Heights? There can be only one answer: Scouting potential landing zones to convert Sutrito Tower into our futuristic Air Terminal of Tomorrow!

PHOTOS: Neighbor Catherine

Bernal Aerospace Advances Cutting Edge of Rocket Science

December 15, 2011December 15, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 9 Comments

The rocket scientists from the Bernal Aeronautics and Space Administration have been very busy lately, advancing the frontiers of high technology.

One recent BASA initiative, shown above, focused on nighttime rocketry. Advanced light-emitting diodes were used to recover the launched BASA spacecraft, while dark clothing made it possible to elude capture by local law-enforcement.

The Optical Systems Division has also been active, leveraging recent advances in miniaturization to mount video cameras on rockets and record launches from start to finish.

This action-packed video shows a BASA rocket going up, coming down, and almost getting hit by a car while awaiting extraction from the Recovery Team:

Meanwhile, back at Bernalwood’s Editorial Control Room, the Cub Reporter has been busily working on a rocketry project of her own. After several after-dinner nights of painting, gluing, and careful decal application, we are proud to unveil the Precita One, our debut launch platform:

The maiden flight of Precita One is scheduled for this weekend, at BASA’s top-secret launch facility. Our engineers have just received a new shipment of rocket motors, and the team is ready to fly!

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Who Is Flying Over Bernal Heights (And Where They Are Going)?

December 13, 2011December 19, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 13 Comments

After I got home late last Friday night, I wandered into my back yard for a moment to savor the silvery light of the full moon. But I also got a bonus treat: I watched a jet pass by high overhead, creating a fluffy contrail that divided the night sky into two neat halves — as you can see in the photo above.

I’ve written before about the map which shows the major air routes that pass over Bernal Heights:

Yet as handy as that map is for making general sense of the activity that takes place in the skies above us, it’s also fun to know the specifics. Like, exactly what kind of jet is that passing overhead? And where did it come from? And where is it going?

That’s what I wondered as a meditated on the spectacle of the aircraft streaking silently through the clear Bernal night. Yet because we live in an age of high-tech wonders, I didn’t have to wonder for long. In fact, there’s an app for that.

I reached for my phone, and opened Plane Finder, a $4.99 app for the iPhone or iPad that monitors the ADS-B tracking data transmitted by commercial aircraft to generate a near-realtime air traffic radar map. So when I wanted to find out about the plane I spotted over Bernal Heights, here’s what I saw:

That showed me the flightpath. Then I touched the plane icon, to learn more:

Voila! The plane I saw passing over Bernal a little after 1 am on Friday night was a China Southern Airlines Boeing 777-200, traveling almost 32,000 feet overhead, en route from Los Angeles to Guangzhou, China.

Personally, I find there’s something oddly satisfying about having access to this information; It makes the planes I see overhead feel more neighborly, because I can picture where they came from, where they’re going, and the kind of people who are likely sitting inside.

And as those passengers stare down at us, many would probably feel a similar sense of connection, if only they could dial up an app that presented a view that looks something like this:

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

The Right Stuff: Bernal Kids Test Frontiers of Outer Space

November 22, 2011November 20, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 12 Comments

Last weekend, a few paternal units from the Bernal Dads Racing Team assembled at a secret local spaceport to do some amateur rocketry with the kids.

Overall the effort was a success. Many rockets were launched, and the kids demonstrated an exceptional talent for doing mission control-style countdowns (in unison).

“Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven… Six… Five… Four… Three… Two.. One.. LIFTOFF!”

Great altitudes were achieved. The barriers of space were tested.

But recovery of the rockets proved more challenging. Several of the Bernal spacecraft encountered significant arboreal interference shortly before touchdown:

Flight commanders wrote off the stricken craft as a loss.

But in the spirit of science and exploration, the days experiments were deemed a complete success. Gateways to the New Frontier were opened. “One small step for our children, one giant leap for Bernalkind,” and all that.

Indeed, with the space shuttle now in retirement and Uncle Sam’s space transportation strategy in disarray, it’s time for Bernal Heights to take matters into our own hands. We can do this. We have The Right Stuff. We need a new group to add to the roster of neighborhood civic organizations.

So, fellow citizens, please join me in welcoming the inauguration of the Bernalwood Aeronautics and Space Administration: