Last weekend the Cub Reporter and I had the opportunity to take to the skies with the Bernalwood Air Force for a routine observation and reconnaissance flight over the Bernal Heights motherland.
The skies were clear blue, Bernal Hill was verdant green, and because it was warm out, everyone was outside to enjoy the day. We cruised over Cortland, waving imperially at our neighbors below:
We saw people walking along the northwest corner of Bernal Heights Boulevard:
Nearby, our new neighbors from the Helipad House were enjoying some sunbathing on their glamorous roof deck:
Our technocrat friends at the City Rec and Park department will probably appreciate the documentation we collected about Bernal’s ad hoc trail network, and its myriad redundancies:
Look closely, and you can almost see the analysts working feverishly inside the secret Bernalwood Command Center, located 300 feet below Sutrito Tower:
While we were airborne, we received orders over the radio to undertake an urgent new mission: An aerial survey of the La Lengua Autonomous Zone!
Researchers from the Bernalwood Intelligence Agency had identified the likely location of the La Lengua Rebel Command Compound (LaLeRebCoCo), hidden deep in the heart of La Lenguan territory, between Mission and San Jose Streets. In 3 minutes we were over the target area. We circled to take a look, and captured the money shot. Behold:
Mission Accomplished! We loitered for a few final moments to take in some unusual perspectives on Bernal Hill:
And then, saturated with happy views and a lifetime of material for goofy Photoshop image-manipulation stunts, we returned to base.
UPDATE, 10:24 pm: In response to the Bernalwood Air Force overflight, the La Lengua rebels have put in place a high-tech burrito-based air defense system!
PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics
Bernalwood 
Awesome. The junior pilots look like they were having a blast.
AMAZING shots!!
Gorgeous!
Love it!
WEAPONIZED BURRITOS ACTIVATED.
MAG-RAIL GUNS ARMED.
MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR FRIJOLES.
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¡CUIDADO! DEFENSIVE SCREENS ENGAGED.
¡PELIGROSO! BURRITOS HOT. STAND CLEAR.
I will not put much stock in any of these bellicose boasts until the purported technological advancements are confirmed by the inspectors at the IBEA (International Burrito Energy Agency).
URGENT: Certain Al Pastor and Guacamole supplies of La Lenguan rebels are believed to be concealed under the “AIR” of “BERNALWOOD AIR FORCE” caption on surveillance photo above, and are reliably reported to be delicious.
You will be crushed, rebel scum!
Great job, next op, strafing the hill at low altitude!
I want to join the BAF! So great…
You have outdone yourself on this one in sheer inventiveness! I daren’t post this on my Facebook for fear that some people in the Ausland might think there was an imminent Bay of Pigs in the 94110. Great pics!
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Those cats with the roof deck have such a dope ass (that means awesome for those of you not hip to the hip hop vernacular) house!! Every time I drive by it, I often wonder, as I do with anyone who builds a contemporary house in Bernal, “What do they do for a living?”
We are secret agents! Just kidding. We’re a software nerd and former tech blogger. We really wish we could be avocado farmers. As you can see, we’re struggling with a farm-like design for our backyard . We’re also trying to get DPW to help us maintain the property next to our house. We’ve spent thousands on the public weed patch and are frustrated by their lack of reciprocation (not to mention the tenacity of the weeds).
Yeah, it would be awesome to fly over Bernal in a Cessna 152 or 172. Flying is so much fun. I’m envious.
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