This Weekend, The Knockout Celebrates 10 Years of Loose Morals

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The Knockout on Mission Street (at Valencia) in La Lengua is one of Bernal’s underground treasures. This weekend The Knockout is celebrating its 10th birthday, and out hipper friends at MissionMission wrote it up (so we don’t have to):’

Can’t believe it’s been 10 years already! Seems like only yesterday everybody was like, “What’s the deal with this brand-new bar having ALL THE BEST BANDS AND DJs ALL THE TIME and isn’t their ‘NOPE’ sign funny???”

Seems like only yesterday Jay Reatard (RIP) was playing a 10-minute (amazing) set there. Back when the stage was next to the bar.

Seems like only yesterday we were there for an Oldies Night, laying eyes on Primo for the first time, all that energy behind the decks, and we were like, “ALL DJs SHOULD BE LIKE THIS.”

Seems like only yesterday we were there for a Debaser around Christmastime seeing their Weezer cover band and we were like, “THIS IS WAAAY BETTER THAN ACTUALLY SEEING WEEZER!” […]

Here’s what’s happening this weekend:

COME CELEBRATE 10 YEARS OF THE KNOCKOUT! BRINGING YOU LIVE MUSIC, CHEAP DRINKS, KILLER DANCE PARTIES AND MAKING MEMORIES SINCE 2005! AS A SHOW OF THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT OVER THE YEARS WE’VE PLANNED A KILLER WEEKEND OF DJs AND LIVE SHOWS TO KICK OFF THE NEXT 10 YEARS!!!

Friday, July 10 9pm

TEENAGE DANCE CRAZE PRESENTS…
THE GEARS
LOST RITUAL
THE COPPERTONES
Plus The World Famous TDC DJS…
OREN, RUSSELL QUAN & dX THE FUNKY GRANPAW

Saturday July 11, 2:30pm

ALCOHOLOCAUST PRESENTS…
VKTMS
HIGHTOWER
CELLAR DOORS
BUFFALO TOOTH
BREAKARTS
CRYPTO

Sat July 11, 10pm

THE KO SUPER STAR DJ SATURDAY NIGHT PARTY
W/ DJs PRIMO, JAMIE JAMS, SPECIAL LORD B (AKA PAUL PAUL) & JOSH YULE

Sun July 12, 2pm

THE POPE OF YES PRESENTS…
CCR HEADCLEANER
TERRY MALTS
MALE GAZE
THE STRANGELAND
EMOTIONAL
JESUS TAPE

+ PBRn’B DJs
Sun July 12, 10pm
SWEATER FUNK MODERN FUNK AND BOOGIE PARTY
W/Live Sets by KMAXX & PLAZA
Full-weekend passes come with limited edition KO Anniversary t-shirts. Limited tickets.

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PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Bernal Streets Offer Guidance in Confederate Flag Debate

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The Moultrie Flag

In South Carolina, legislators are struggling as they reconsider the public display of the Confederate battle flag. Hey, better late than never, right?

But what about a replacement? On this matter, Bernal Heights can offer some guidance. We know of a lovely alternative flag design, stemming from the fact that many of our streets here in Bernal are named after American military heroes.

People of South Carolina, we, the Citizens of Bernalwood, here provide a polite tap on the shoulder to remind you about… The Moultrie Flag!

Yup. The Moultrie Flag, as shown above. And no, this isn’t an oddball Bernalwood flag design exercise. Neighbor Glenda tells us the Moultrie Flag, like our own Moultrie Street, is named after William Moultrie, whom the Bernal History Project describes as follows:

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Although William Moultrie (1730-1805) led troops against Native Americans in 1761 and won election to the colonial assembly, the general is remembered chiefly for his surprising defense of a South Carolina fort (now Fort Moultrie) on Sullivan’s Island. It blocked the British in 1776 from capturing Charleston, his birthplace. Captured in 1780 and released after the war, he was elected governor of South Carolina in 1785.

Ah, but that’s the short version of the story. Blogger Juan Cole explains why the Moultrie Flag should make any South Carolinian proud:

If Southerners want a regional symbol of pride and valor, why not go back to the Moultrie or Liberty flag?

It was flown by South Carolinians in the fight against the Redcoats during the Revolutionary War and was the first American flag to fly over the South.

Best of all, the flag has the word “Liberty” written into the crescent moon, underscoring this key American value, so important for all peoples living in the South. It is better than the Gadsden flag (with the “Don’t Tread on Me” snake) because it expresses a positive value and emotion rather than a negative, reactive one.

So true. Here’s what the Wikipedia sayeth about the Moultrie Flag:

In 1775, Colonel William Moultrie was asked by the Revolutionary Council of Safety to design a flag for the South Carolina troops to use during the American Revolutionary War. Moultrie’s design had the blue of the militia’s uniforms and the crescent. It was first flown at Fort Johnson.[2] This flag was flown in the defense of a new fortress on Sullivan’s Island, when Moultrie faced off against a British fleet that had not lost a battle in a century.

However, there is much debate about the significance of the crescent. In 1775 Colonel William Moultrie was asked by the “Revolutionary Council of Safety” to design a flag for the South Carolina troops. In his memoirs, Colonel Wiliam Moultrie tells us: “A little time after we were in possession of Fort Johnson, it was thought necessary to have a flag for the purpose of signals: (as there was no national or state flag at that time) I was desired by the council of safety to have one made, upon which, as the state troops were clothed in blue, and the fort was garrisoned by the first and second regiments, who wore a silver crescent on the front of their caps; I had a large blue flag made with a crescent in the dexter corner, to be in uniform with the troops …”In the 16-hour battle on June 28, 1776, the flag was shot down, but Sergeant William Jasper ran out into the open, raising it and rallying the troops until it could be mounted again. This gesture was so heroic, saving Charleston, South Carolina, from conquest for four years, that the flag came to be the symbol of the Revolution, and liberty, in the state and the new nation.

Soon popularly known as either the Liberty Flag or Moultrie Flag, it became the standard of the South Carolinian militia, and was presented in Charleston, by Major General Nathanael Greene, when that city was liberated at the end of the war. Greene described it as having been the first American flag to fly over the South.

Raise the Moultrie Flag, people of South Carolina! Raise the Moultrie Flag, people of Moultrie Street!

But wait! There is another Bernal street connection to today’s Confederate flag removal debate. Neighbor Richard reminds Bernalwood about the namesake of Ellsworth Street:

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Fascinated by military history and panoply, Colonel Elmer Ephraim Ellsworth (1837-1861) was a friend of Lincoln’s. He raised a regiment of volunteers from New York firefighters, who invaded Virginia the day after it seceded. When he cut down a Confederate flag atop a hotel, the owner killed him with a shotgun blast and was shot dead in return. “Remember Ellsworth” became a rallying cry of a regiment known as the Ellsworth Avengers.

Oh my. Ellsworth was killed while removing a Confederate flag! Even more, in the process of doing so, the Wikipedia sayeth that Ellsworth actually became “the first conspicuous casualty of the American Civil War.”

Woooa!  Mind. Blown.

Anyway, to the People of South Carolina, we, the Citizens of Bernalwood send our sincere hope that you will make a wise choice.

HAT TIPS: Neighbors Glenda Brewer and Richard Everett

Competing Petitions Disagree on New Lane Reduction in Bernal Cut

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Neighbor Chris from St. Mary’s recently wrote Bernalwood to say:

Wondering what you think about the new San Jose Ave exit on 280. It’s like a pinball machine there now, even on off commute hours. Two exit lanes still exit, but now they merge into 1 within 100 feet, and it’s always backed up way before the underpass so you also have to stop suddenly. I get that the car culture needs to change, but it has to happen subtly. My girlfriend found the person at MTA responsible for the new configuration and let him have it.

It’s true; traffic patterns northbound through the Bernal Cut have changed, and there have been multiple big accidents there as a result. Meanwhile, it seems Neighbor Chris’s concerns are not uncommon, because Streetsblog reports

The redesign of San Jose Avenue took a step forward a month ago when Caltrans removed a traffic lane on a Highway 280 off-ramp leading on to San Jose, a.k.a. the Bernal Cut. The plan is the result of decades of neighborhood advocacy for safer streets, but it is running into opposition from motorists who won’t stand for the road diet.

Supporters and opponents of the project are duking it out with online petitions, both launched a month ago. The opposition’s petition currently has a lead on the supporters’ petition. The SFMTA hasn’t released the results from its survey from last fall.

On the bright side, no matter which side of this issue you agree with, there’s a petition you can sign.

PHOTO: I-280 at San Jose Accident, June 19, 2005, by Neighbor Jeremy Ambers

Super-Excited Neighbor Creates Super-Sexy Tee to Celebrate Super-Awesome Justices

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Remember that awesome day in late June when the Supreme Court affirmed the legal status of same-sex marriage? We’re already feeling nostalgic about it.

To commemorate that magical moment, Neighbor Ashley from Bradford Street created a t-shirt that celebrates Obergefell v. Hodges:

Some friends and I just finished up a super sexy side project. We were inspired by our Supreme Court’s super-exciting decision to make marriage equality the law of the land, so we decided to make a beeautiful t-shirt to celebrate them and raise some money for a good cause.

Scotuspride.com is the website we created to sell super sexy t-shirts that say: “I’m smart AND sexy” These shirts celebrate the totally radical Supreme Court justices who voted to pass the historic 5-4 decision to extend marriage to same-sex couples across the country.

Proceeds from SCOTUS Pride will go to the Southern Poverty Law Center, an organization that works to protect the Civil Rights of all Americans. Awesomeness! Charity! Smartology! It’s all very exciting. We’ve got many styles and colors available on the website.

Housing Shortage Becomes Fodder for Twee Bernal Birdhouse Humor

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There comes a point in every Bay Area economic boom where housing is scarce and rents are through the roof when some jokester comments about renting out the garage, or the doghouse, or a tent in the yard for an absurd amount of money. (Although, turns out, the tent in the yard is real.)

Citizens of Bernalwood, we have reached that moment. Neighbor Robert shared this photo of a birdhouse he spotted on Precita.

For Rent!! LOLZ!! But wait… it’s a trend!

Neighbor Valerie spotted two more birdhouses on offer around Coleridge:

But here’s the thing: Market forces tell us that $3000 a month is actually a ridiculous amount of money to pay for a birdhouse, because Neighbor Robert also spotted a very innnnnnnnnteresting property listing in The Mission.

It’s an entire studio apartment, and it could be yours for just $2500:

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What a bargain!

PHOTOS: Robert Weiner

 

 

Help Protect Bernal Hill on July Fourth; Help Clean Up Bernal Hill on July Fifth

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It’s Fourth of July Weekend, which is a joyous magnificent thing. Happy Birthday America!

There are two essential things for all Bernalese to keep in mind on this holiday weekend:

1) Morons Will Try to Burn Down Bernal Hill on Saturday, July 4

Well, they won’t deliberately seek to burn down Bernal Hill. Nevertheless, history teaches us that during the City’s big fireworks display on July 4, Bernal Hill will be a popular place to watch the show. Many of those spectators will bring their own fireworks, and they will ignite them amid much whooping and cheering on Bernal Hill. This is a moronic to do, because the grass on Bernal Hill is very dry this time of year, and it’s very, very easy to trigger a big brush fire. Like this Fourth of July blaze in 2013:

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Eeeek! So let us now recall the July Fourth Pro Tips that Neighbor Sarah shared last year:

Do not set off fireworks. Definitely don’t set them off on Bernal Hill, which is covered in dry grasses and brush. You may recall that [in 2013], some moron set the Hill on fire. Luckily, no one was hurt, but imagine if this had happened in an area crowded with people watching the downtown fireworks display. If you remember no other item on this list, remember this one. No. Fireworks. On. Bernal. Hill.

If you see someone setting off illegal fireworks on Bernal Hill, call the police. Dial 553-0123 if nothing is on fire yet. Dial 911 or 553-8090 if there is an active blaze.

Okay, with that squared away, let’s talk about The Day After…

2. There Will Be a Neighborly Bernal Hill Clean-Up on Sunday, July 5

Notiwthstanding the admonitions contained within Item 1 above, there will still be a lot of post-party trash strewn around Bernal Hill after all the fireworky boom-booms. It happens. Fortunately, some of your finest and most valiant neighbors are planning a massive Sunday morning clean-up on the hill, and they want to meet you. Neighbor Edie from the Bernal GO! Team tells us:

The Bernal Go Team will be holding our annual Hilltop Cleanup this Sunday, July 5th from 10am to 11am. What a great time to catch some sun, get a little exercise, and clean up our hill after the festivities on the 4th. Gloves, bags, and pick up sticks will be provided by SF Rec and Park. We’ll meet by the notice board in the parking area of Bernal Heights Boulevard on the south side of the hill near Anderson.  With questions, call or text me at 415 515-2397.

Do it.

Have a great weekend, Bernal Heights.

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Ridiculously Talented Bernal Artist Seeks Glamorous Bernalwood Readers to Sit as Portrait Subjects

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You may remember Neighbor Aaron Zube from the terrific show he had at the Inclusions Gallery on Cortland this time last year. Well, Neighbor Aaron reached out to Bernalwood this week to share a remarkable proposal:

I’m working on a series of portrait paintings of Bernal Heights residents and was wondering if any of your readers would be interested in volunteering to have their portrait painted. This is just for my own practice (and to possibly show sometime in the future) & would give me a chance to meet some of my neighbors — no obligation to buy the painting. It would only require a few hours of their time. My website has my contact information if anyone is interested.

“If anyone is interested…” That’s funny! More like: Please take a number!

A some more of Neighbor Aaron’s recent work:

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IMAGES: Recent portraits by Aaron Zube, courtesy of Aaron Zube

Watch Last Night’s Colorful Sunset and Epic Moonrise from Bernal Hill in 50 Seconds

Did you catch last night’s fabulous sunset? Or, if you did catch the sunset, were you looking west instead of east?

Well, Neighbor Joe Thomas was looking toward the bay from his Eastern Observation Post atop Bernal Hill, and he took this wonderful time-lapse video of the sunset and the  moonrise.

There’s no sound, but go full screen and don’t just watch it once.

And when you’re done…. Special Bonus!

Neighbor Joel Kraut also brings us the view of the very same sunset from his Western Observation Post atop Bernal Hill, looking toward Sutro Tower:

New Map Reveals the Lost Waterways of Bernal Heights

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In his amazing new Seep City map of San Francisco’s lost creeks, springs and waterways, natural history researcher Joel Pomerantz reveals the places where groundwater once flowed in Bernal Heights.

Here’s the story it tells:

[On the map] today’s land forms are shown with 5-foot-interval contour lines. At this level of detail, we can easily see where human activity has filled extensive portions of the bay and where streets, highways, reservoirs and railroad grades cut into hills.

Our city had significantly more water before it was developed. Consequently, most of the water shown is from historical sources. The purple squiggles are bedrock springs found today. Natural and artificial lakes present today are outlined in white. Creeks of today are highlighted yellow.

Only a couple creeks still flow on the surface today. Finding them can be a challenge without this map. Some are virtually unknown.

The detail is remarkable. Here’s a close crop of northeast Bernal, with Precita Creek running along the upper part of the map and draining into the intricate Islais Creek watershed (where Bayshore stands today). Notice also the two active springs on the northern slope of Bernal Hill:

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And when you pull back to look at the city as a whole, you see how Bernal fits in to a much larger ecosystem:

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Want a copy of Joel’s maptastic creation? Visit his Kickstarter page, where you can order a map in your favorite size.

IMAGES: Courtesy of Joel Pomerantz

Old Trellis Removed from Esmeralda/Winfield Mini-Park

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Although we were warned this would happen, and although funding is now in place to provide for replacement, this is still a tough sight to see: Yesterday workers began removing the decaying trellis from the Esmeralda/Winfield Mini-Park.

*sigh*

While we await more detail on plans to replace the trellis, we can also begin moving through the Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief and Loss. (Current status: Bargaining).

Beyond that, we can also distract ourselves by reading the big feature SFist just published on the fabulousness of the entire Esmeralda stair corridor. It combines a little bit of history, with a little bit of Bernalwood’s previous coverage, with a bunch of pretty pictures, and a whole lot of appreciation. Enjoy:

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PHOTOS: Top, courtesy of Neighbor Matthew; below, courtesy of Neighbor Jan

Tonight: Phonographic Memories Picks Up the Beat, Moves to Glamorous New Bernal Nightclub Location

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You may remember that way back in September 2014, Neighbor Corey launched a project called Phonographic Memory by hosting informal, open-mike sessions at the Bernal Heights library where people were invited to share stories and music from their favorite old vinyl records.

Phonographic Memory has now become a regular thing, and here’s how it goes down:

Now Phonographic Memory graduates from the Bernal library and relocates to Bernal’s stretch of Mission Street, where you can join in tonight, June 30, at 7 pm at the Knockout (3223 Mission @Valencia).

Neighbor Corey brings the news, and the invitation:

For June, we have a very special edition of Phonographic Memory planned for you. We’re throwing a party! We’re making the trek from our usual spot at the Bernal Library down the hill to The Knockout, because libraries close early, and we want to party together all night long.

We’ve curated a diverse lineup of individuals who have contributed to the Bay Area music scene: Justin Torres (record dealer and DJ who helped re-ignite soul singer Darondo’s career), Lydia Popovich (stand-up comedian who managed Quannum records in the early 2000’s), Dan Lactose (guitarist for seminal punk/powerviolence band Spazz, producer for Hip-Hop duo Grand Invincible), and Winston Smith (artist responsible for designing the Dead Kennedy’s logo as well as countless album covers).

We have DJ’s Brycon, Wam Bam Ashleyanne and Stef providing the soundtrack to rock the night away.

The event will serve as a fundraiser of sorts, and will be complimented by an IndieGoGo campaign. We are asking a $5 donation at the door, and guarantee that you will be entertained!

Our goal is to obtain non-profit status, and ultimately secure grants to grow Phonographic Memory into a global community.

Music starts at 7:00pm, stories at 8:00. Hope to see you there!

Tosan Is a Bernal-Based Menswear Business For Rad Dads

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Neighbor Surya and Neighbor Nick live on stylish Ellert Street here in Bernal, in a house that has also become the headquarters for their new family-friendly menswear fashion business. Neighbor Nick wrote Bernalwood to say:

Shameless email, but that’s what husbands are for.

My wife and I met working for Old Navy HQ. She was a menswear designer there for over 7 years. After the birth of our first and (currently) only child Mikio, she made the very difficult decision to leave a career she loved and dedicate her time to raising our son.

Along this journey and specifically as I tried to find my way as a father who wanted to keep his personality but also have useful things for babies she came up with the idea to start a menswear line targeted at dads. Tosan is about celebrating great gear for the adventure of fatherhood.

100% made in America, 90% made in the Bay Area, and designed and curated right on Ellert Street in our very own beloved Bernal Heights.

The brand officially launched less than six months ago and recently had the incredible fortune of being featured on the Today Show with Carson Daly as part of a segment about 6 Father’s Day gifts that dad’s actually want.

Here’s a screen grab from that glamorous Today Show segment:

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Neighbor Surya adds:

This brand really was brought to life in the few blocks surround Cortland. We have a babysitter two mornings a week. I pack my computer and supplies up and make the block and a half hike up to the village. Almost every email has been sent from Progressive Grounds or Pinhole. The guys at Progressive know my order (Beet salad, no cheese, add avocado). Aziz asks after my son and I settle into the back room. And JoEllen from Pinhole has been my biggest neighborhood cheerleader. She is so inspiring as a fellow female business owner and person in general. Her positivity is infectious!

Very cool. Check out the sexxxy Tosan collection, for that special stone-cold sexxxy daddio in your life.

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PHOTO: Top, Neighbor Nick, Neighbor Surya and Jr. Neighbor Mikio, courtesy of Tosan

Bernal Pride Was Kind of Colorful; Kind of Jiggly

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On Sunday afternoon, Neighbor Leslie (Disclosure: your Bernalwood editor’s sweetie) went for a stroll in Bernal Heights, where she stumbled upon a rather charming neighborhood Pride Party in progress on the world-famous Lundys Landing.

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Neighbor Leslie reports there was plenty of laughter and good cheer at the scene, which was to be expected. What she did not expect was to find, however, was a very special, jiggly treat: Pride-themed Jello Shots!

Citizens of Bernalwood, this is what a proper neighborly Pride welcome looks like:

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PHOTOS: LeslieJ on Instagram