Sutro Tower Mini-Model Is Must-Have Decor for Devoted Fans

August 17, 2011August 17, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

Though it’s often the subject of scorn and sanctimonious head-shaking, Sutro Tower is also beloved by an underground army of devoted fans who appreciate it as San Francisco’s second-most iconic piece of landscape architecture. (Number One, of course being that famous International Orange bridge.) Monumental and futuristic, Sutro Tower fanboys and fangirls often express their affection via loving photographs, clever t-shirt graphics, and even permanent tattoos.

Meanwhile, Bernal residents enjoy a particularly intimate connection to Sutro Tower, both because it dominates the western horizon when you look out from atop Bernal Hill, and because our own microwave tower so obviously wants to be more like Sutro Tower when it grows up.

But for the sophisticated devotee who craves a 3-D representation of Sutro Tower, the options have been very, very limited. Until now. Through the miracle of modern laser-cutting technology, a local whiz named Aidan now offers 1/1000 wooden models of Sutro Tower for sale on Etsy, and they are superb.

La Lengua rebel leader (and Sutro Tower fetishist) Burrito Justice captured this spycam video footage inside the secret “Mini-Sutro Manufacturing Facility” located 2000′ below the El Farolito burrito shop on Mission at 24th Street. Here’s how the magic happens:

I ordered one last week, and it arrived two days ago. Here’s how it looked when it arrived:

And here’s how it looked after 5 minutes of fun, hands-on, assembly — no tools or glue required:

Now, as my new model sits on my dresser, I can savor the luxury of admiring Sutro Tower from the safety and comfort of my bed, anytime day or night — even when the real Sutro Tower is obscured by a a brooding blanket of fog. Peekaboo!

Get your Sutro Tower model right here.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

A Vision of the Future to Make NIMBY Heads Explode

August 11, 2011January 10, 2014 / Todd_Lappin / 27 Comments

If you were impressed by the amount of NIMBY energy expended to stop the installation of new cellular antenna towers and Smart Meters, just try to wrap your head around the fury that would be directed toward this proposed project from 1948.

The basic plan was very simple: Along the axis of the Bernal Heights segment of Mission Street, erect a combination elevated freeway and public transit rail line. The incomparable Eric Fischer tracked down this alternate-universe vision of the future, and he explains:

Looking northeast toward Cortland and what would now be called 30th Street BART, between Mission and Coleridge, from the 1948 Transportation Plan for San Francisco.

Yup, that’s Cortland, shooting uphill near the top right corner of the image. This may not have been an attractive plan, or even a desirable one, but on the upside we would have gotten our own eponymous train station out of the deal. Notice:

IMAGES: via Eric Fisher

How to Navigate the Cesar Chavez “Big Dig”

August 10, 2011August 10, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 14 Comments

And so it begins. Construction started recently on an extensive new project to replace the main sewer line that runs beneath Cesar Chavez Boulevard between Guerrero Street and the US 101 Hairball interchange. Along the way, Chavez will also get a major remodel, transforming it into a tree-lined, pedestrian- and bike-friendly thoroughfare that will look kind of, sort of, pretty much like that new stretch of Ocatvia Boulevard that connects Hayes Valley to Market Street.

It will take time, but remember this mantra: Infrastructure Is Sexy. When the project is done, we’ll not only have a dashingly handsome new sewer main, but Chavez will also look more happy and more better. Between then and now, however, it will be a dirty, traffic-snarled mess. Thankfully, our next-door neighbors at Noe Valley SF have pulled together a handy overview of the project, and what to expect along the way. They’ve kindly allowed us to republish it here, to facilitate your long-range strategic planning:

The sewer work is scheduled to begin in late June, starting at Hampshire and working west. The construction crews will work on three- or four-block chunks at a time. These blocks will have no parking during the work, which will involve digging a trench 10 to 13 feet wide to accommodate the 72 to 84-inch-diameter pipes being installed.

In addition, on the south side of Cesar Chavez, the existing pipes will be relined. Workers will need to block traffic for this as well.

From Hampshire to Treat, the trench is expected to be closer to the north side of the street; west of Treat, the trench is expected to be closer to the middle of the street. Two travel lanes in each direction will be maintained on Cesar Chavez throughout the project, but the lanes will move according to where the trench is. The existing three lanes of traffic west of the project will be gradually merged into two lanes in the construction area.

For the crossing of Mission Street, workers will avoid digging a trench to minimize disruption to Muni and BART service. Instead, they will dig two pits, one each at Capp and Bartlett, and install the pipe with a trenchless method.

In addition to Cesar Chavez, sewer construction work will take place on the following streets in the area as part of this project:
* Harrison: from Cesar Chavez to 26th
* Valencia: from Cesar Chavez to Mission
* Fair: from Mission to Coleridge
* Coleridge: from Fair to Coso
* Coso at Coleridge

Each block should take five to six weeks, and the first large segment from Hampshire to Folsom should take about nine to 10 months. When each three-block chunk is completed and reopened, the street will be striped according to the new streetscape striping, with parking lanes, bike lanes, two car travel lanes in each direction, and turn pockets or turn restrictions as outlined in the approved plan. As part of the streetscape improvements, the greening, repaving, and median work won’t begin until the sewer work reaches Folsom, about nine months after it begins.

The sewer work on Cesar Chavez would take 15 to 16 months, and the streetscape work another nine months, totaling about two years. Work hours will be Monday through Friday, 8 am to 6 pm, with some possible weekend work. City officials emphasized that residents will have local access, and, on the occasions when driveways must be blocked, the contractors will contact households individually to work with them on solutions.

Notices that will be distributed before the project starts will include a 24-hour number for questions and complaints. The city will conduct meetings […] every three or four months to update and obtain feedback from the community.

Alex Murillo of the DPW Office of Communications and Public Affairs will be the contact person for the project, and he gave out his office phone number (415/437-7009) and cell number (415/627-8106). Brave man! He can be reached at Alex.M.Murillo@sfdpw.org. The project is also up on the DPW website: http://www.sfdpw.org/index.aspx?page=1166.

The project manager for the streetscape aspect is Kris Opbroek, who can be reached atKris.Opbroek@sfdpw.org or 415/558-4045.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Say Hello to the Proposed Design for the Bernal Library Mural

July 20, 2011July 20, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 29 Comments

If you think the debate currently taking place in Washington DC over raising the federal debt ceiling is a sticky bit of politics, you’ll no doubt enjoy catching up on the latest details of the plan to paint a new mural on the facade of the Bernal Heights Branch of the San Francisco Public Library on Cortland.

Just in case you need a reminder, here’s how the current mural looks — it was painted in 1982:

Ambassador Darcy Lee from Heartfelt on Cortland has been working on the new mural effort, and she sent Bernalwood this honest and (yes) heartfelt project status report:

I am a proud member of the task force working on the Bernal Library Art Project. I have a tendency to focus on what we have accomplished, so here goes:

We had a divided neighborhood. Some felt the library should not be painted at all, and should be unadorned– as it was when it was built as a WPA project. Others felt that the existing mural represented many important issues and was a constant reminder of what is important within San Francisco. They wanted it to be restored and remain. A group of us got together to discuss and talk through all the issue. We fought through some truths, some conceptions, and some very passionate feelings.

Bernal resident Beth Roy guided us through this arduous process with skill and aplomb — It was quite remarkable. In the end, the decision was made to put new artwork on parts of the library. Huge thanks to the city, Mayor Lee, Supervisor Campos, the Arts Commission, and the Library Commission for their help.

We decided to stay on course as a volunteer group, but we needed a project manager. We had two (very small) fundraisers that raised enough to get us started. Gia Grant was chosen to manage the effort, and her experience and clear-headed expertise has been a boon! We took input from two community meetings, chose two artists, and approved artwork for the Cortland (front) and Moultrie facades.

I believe the chosen artwork addresses all our needs and desires. Actual work will begin this summer. We are planning a big fundraiser with renowned cellist Joan Jeanrenaud on August 6th. Remember: We are lucky to be here and nothing is simple!

Well said. Lots more detail at the Bernal Library Art Project website. You can read the project’s Statement of Consensus right here (pdf). You can also read the digest of public comments about the mural submitted via the project email address at bernallibraryartproject@gmail.com. (Executive Summary: 19 positives, 34 negatives, 7 confused and/or off-topic.)

Meanwhile, the mural is on the agenda for the City Library Commission meeting that will take place TOMORROW, Thursday, July 21, 2011, at 4:30 pm in the Koret Auditorium of the Main Library (lower level). Be there if you have something you really really really really really want to say.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Sexy, Stoner-Friendly New Parklet Installed on 29th Street

July 19, 2011July 18, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 2 Comments

Reader Rita sends along some news about the first parklet to appear in the Dominion of Bernalwood:

Down here in the flats (or La Lengua, or south Mission, or whatever our neighborhood gets called these days) our first parklet was just installed at Café Seventy8 on 29th Street! Anette Roeber and her co-owners worked with the neighborhood, a local architect: Hugh Hynes of PROTOinc and another neighbor Matt Walsh who worked with Dan Piche and Jon Petterson, all of Saturn Construction to build out the parklett this weekend. Finishing touches and plants will be installed on the 30th when the Tiffany Avenue neighbors are celebrating theer one year anniversary of planting of the sidewalk gardens. Then it will just be a matter of when the city installs the bike corral in the space close to the corner!

Nice work, people. That looks great! Note also, the new parklet is literally across the street from the Bernal Heights Collective. Stoner bonus!

PHOTOS: Reader Rita

Uppity La Lenguans Seek to Brainwash Unsuspecting Motorists

July 14, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 5 Comments

Oh, you know how it is with those people in La Lengua. They try to make every little thing a political statement here in our otherwise glamorous and complacently vapid neighborhood. As if de facto territorial autonomy and free Slurpees at their new 7-Eleven weren’t enough, the La Lenguans are now attempting to brainwash unsuspecting motorists with their neo-psychedelic separatist ideology.

Consider this affront, which was spotted this week at the corner of Guerrero and 28th Street. It seems the La Lengua Revolutionary Propaganda Front (LaLeRevPropFro) has appropriated an official City traffic control device to disseminate a mind-altering message intended to further the La Lengua cause. Sheeeesh!

PHOTO: Telstar Logistsics

Dog Owners Love New Park But Lament Lost Garbage Can

July 7, 2011July 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 16 Comments

No sooner had the ribbon been cut at the new Vista Pointe mini-park on Bernal Hill than some dog owners began complaining in the comments that although the new park is grand, somewhere along the line the City removed the garbage can that used to sit at the northeast corner of the lot.

That left pet owners with no place to deposit their doggy-doo, so some have apparently launched a poop-in to protest the disappearance of their beloved trash receptacle. New neighbor RallyP — a dog owner — created the graphic above, and he summarizes the scene:

We’re already seeing evidence of either civil disobedience, or just plain laziness and rudeness (or both?). Hopefully they’re just replacing the old garbage can with something newer and better. Otherwise, this may become a more common sight here 😦

So, paging our friends at City DPW. Heeeeeelp!!! Any chance we can get that garbage can back?

UPDATE: 7 July, 2011

This just came in via the Twitter:

@Bernalwood Fr: Julian who spearheaded the new Bernal Garden, re: trash can. DPW was to move it acrs the street. Evryone: 311 to bug them.

— Renee Crawshaw (@TheseLeanTimes) July 8, 2011

Translated: According to Julian Wyler, the local celebrity who organized the Vista Pointe minipark project, the City Department of Public Works planned to install a new garbage can across the street from the park, but that hasn’t happened. So now it’s time to nag. Please place a call via the 311 telephone hotline to express your desire to have the replacement trash can installed.

IMAGE: goingWest

Why Bernal Heights iPhone Owners May Cheer AT&T Oligopoly

June 23, 2011June 22, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 15 Comments

While perusing the City’s online Library of Cartography recently — don’t ask! — I discovered a new map that does a lot to explain why my iPhone gets such crappy reception inside my home, and why AT&T’s proposed merger with T-Mobile might actually go a long way toward making it better.

But before we get to that, please allow me a few minutes of cathartic iPhone ranting. Oh. My. God. It’s bad: I can’t make wireless calls at all from the garage or ground-floor office of my North Bernal home. On the second floor, the phone only works in the front of the house or in my back yard. It’s so bad that even my text messages fail to send about 75 percent of the time. The phone works great on the top floor of the house, but… seriously?!?

Now, back to that map I found. It’s an Aprill 2011 visualization that shows the location of every wireless cellphone tower in the City, categorized by mobile provider. When I looked at it closely, I suddenly understood why my iPhone is mostly useless unless I’m on the upper floor of my house: The AT&T cell tower closest to me isn’t that close at all.

AT&T’s antenna coverage of Bernal Heights is sparse, and as much as I’d like to demonize the company, NIMBY obstructionism is partially to blame as well. Truth is, it ain’t easy to erect new cell towers in San Francisco. But when you look at the wireless facilities map of Bernalwood, one thing becomes clear: All those pink dots mean that T-Mobile already has our neighborhood pretty well covered.

And that’s why AT&T’s proposed acquisition of T Mobile might be a godsend for long-suffering Bernalwood iPhone owners. If the deal closes as planned early next year, AT&T will gain access to T-Mobile’s existing network of wireless towers. (Arguably, that’s actually AT&T’s primary motivation for pursuing the merger.) And since T-Mobile’s towers are strategically positioned around Bernal Heights, the net result may be substantially better wireless service for local iPhoneers.

So fingers crossed, and here’s to a self-interested reason to cheer for oligopoly!

Star Sighting: Mayor Ed Lee Visits Bernal’s New Mini-Park

June 22, 2011June 22, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 10 Comments

Hey there celebrity-spotters! Guess who dropped by Bernalwood yesterday? Why, it was our very own interim mayor, the Honorable Ed Lee! The Mayor was here to take part in the ribbon-cutting ceremony for our fabulous new Vista Pointe Garden mini-park on Bernal Heights Boulevard, and it was a very sweet little event.

Truth is, however, even though the Mayor is famous for his side-splitting charisma, drop-dead sense of style, and spectacular singing voice, the real star of the show was project director Julian Wyler, who spearheaded the volunteer effort to make this glamorous new park a reality. Say hello to Julian:

This is Mayor Ed giving Julian a well-deserved Certificate of Honor:

Then Mayor Ed and Julian cut the grand-opening ribbon with giant clown scissors:

Afterward, Julian and the Mayor had a bromantic moment:

But seriously… Immense thanks go out to Julian and all the volunteers from Friends of Bernal Gardens who helped make this new park possible. It is truly an impressive feat. And thanks to Mayor Ed for making the trek to Bernal Heights to recognize that fact.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Trove of Historical Photos Show Streetcars in Bernal Heights

June 21, 2011June 21, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

Cortland Avenue at Bennington Street, 1940. Red Hill Books is now on the corner at 401 Cortland. Discount Club is now where the "Drugs" sign is at 439.

Cortland Avenue at Andover Street, 1941. The 9 Valencia line car heading west. The woman waiting to board the car is in front of what is now Head to Toes Beauty (451 Cortland ), Skip's Tavern (453 Cortland Ave.), and Bernal Yoga (461 Cortland Ave.)

Mission near 29th Street, 1948. Behind the car is the Lyceum Theater (1907-1964), now the site of the Safeway parking lot

Last week’s talk at the Bernal Public Library about the history of streetcar service along Cortland Avenuewas really excellent. Interesting, informative, and a vivid reminder of how the texture of the neighborhood is so heavily shaped by its infrastructure.

Plus, as an added bonus, historian and presenter Jack Tillmany gave everyone who attended his talk a nifty souvenir: MUNI streetcar transfers from 1946 that were marked for use along the former 9-Cortland line:

Cool! Happily, if you couldn’t make it to the talk, our neighbors at the ever-awesome Bernal History Project have compiled a fabulous greatest-hits collection of photographs that show streetcars in service along the streets of Bernal Heights.

Hop on board and take that website for a ride.

HISTORIC PHOTOS AND CAPTION TEXT: Bernal History Project. Transfer photo: Telstar Logistics

Citizens of Bernalwood, We Have a New Manhole

June 16, 2011June 16, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 7 Comments

Fellow citizens! Please join Bernalwood in celebrating the installation of our newest manhole!

Doesn’t that sound kind of smutty? Right? But this is straight-up: Yesterday workers completed the fabrication of a new manhole as part of the sewer reconstruction project taking place on Precita Avenue.

New infrastructure is innately sexy, of course. But for those who slept through your civil engineering classes, the essential function of Bernal’s new manhole is to serve as a junction for the sewer pipes that run east from Precita and north down Shotwell.

Basically, it all works pretty much the way Richard Scarry sketched it out:

And at the end of the day, we had a finished result:

Nice work! Now, friends and neighbors, here’s to 100+ years of trouble-free drainage. (Fingers crossed.)

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Homegrown “I BART SF” Shirt for Transit Fashionistas

June 16, 2011June 14, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 7 Comments

Here’s a revolutionary-chic fashion statement for Northside commuters and Southside fans of the 30th Street BART station.

Creator Jeffrey Doker says:

I live in the ‘Wood (Shotwell and Precita). I recently made a BART-themed shirt that I think SF people might love. I know BART doesn’t actually service Bernalwood directly, but I figured I’d give it a shot.

Jeffrey shoots… and scores! Want one? They are available in several flavors.

PHOTO: Jeffrey Doker