Stereotypes Defied: A Charming and Earnest Ode to WalMart

Although this song has nothing to do with Bernal Heights per se, there’s something about it that seems congruent with the spirit of our neighborhood — precisely because it also runs contrary to the spirit of our neighborhood.

Written and performed by an earnest singer-songwriter, the tune describes his surprise at finding automotive salvation, kindness, and human connection at a WalMart in a remote corner of Texas. It’s a story of stereotypes defied and gratitude expressed, which is a feeling that I suspect that many in Bernalwood will understand first-hand.

Uppity Blogger Argues for La Lengua Autonomy, Admits to Expansionist Ambitions

Our friends at CurbedSF have posted a revealing interview with Burrito Justice, the chief spokesblogger and armchair insurrectionist for La Lengua, the uppity “microhood” that lies in the ambiguous flatlands at the foot of Bernal’s western slope.

Tell us something we don’t know about La Lengua? It’s not Bernal Heights. And it’s not the Outer Mission — that’s next to Daly City. And it’s not Noe Valley, despite all the strollers. La Lengua is like New Jersey or Korea — trapped between bigger and more famous neighbors, but scrappy, proud and resourceful as a result.

Bernalwood comes in for some impudent prodding, which we will haughtily tolerate as the kind of thing we must haughtily tolerate (because we are more glamorous):

Bernalwood is kind of a pain in the ass — while we are doomed by topography to live in their shadow (at least in the morning), we do like drinking with them at night.

But here’s the real news flash: The La Lengua Land Grab is not yet finished:

We are in an expansionist welcoming mood for huddled blocks yearning to be free — southern Mission, eastern Noe, western Bernal, give us a call.

Shocking! Paging Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon… please pick up the red crisis phone!

The New York Times Touts Our Local Purveyor of Perfect Food for Pampered Pets

Avedano's MeatsYou eat local. You eat slowly. You buy organic food. If all that is good for you, isn’t it reasonable to assume the same is true for your pet as well?

In the food section of Wednesday’s New York Times, writer Samantha Storey described the latest bourgeois-foodie obsession: Home-cooked food for dogs and cats.

And buried farther down in the story was a local wrinkle involving Bernal’s own Avedano’s Holly Park Market:

Since the fall, the butcher shops Marlow & Daughters in Brooklyn and Avedano’s Holly Park Market in San Francisco have been selling pet food made from grass-fed meat raised on nearby pastures. Melanie Eisemann, an owner at Avedano’s, said the store’s custom mix of ground meats, organs, vegetables, garlic, eggs, parsley and yogurt sells for $3.25 a pound. Avedano’s also reports a robust trade in marrow bones, many of them bought as snacks for dogs.

Ms. Eisemann said customers say that they like knowing the source of their meat, whether it will ultimately be served on the table or on the floor. Entering the pet food market has also been a boon for the business, since Avedano’s, like Marlow & Daughters, is a whole-animal butcher where no part of the beast goes to waste.

Hat tip: Noe Valley SF. Photo: Telstar Logistics

Hungry Moms Give Shout-Out for Sandbox Bakery Sandwiches

A Little Yumminess is a blog about ” experiences as moms pursuing a passion for eating and cooking & sharing food adventures with our kids.” Said moms visited Cortland recently, and came away with happy bellies:

A highlight of a recent adventure to Bernal Heights with my friend Rachel and our little ones, was one of the best sandwiches in recent memory at Sandbox Bakery. Check out this beauty: whole wheat roll with toasted hazelnuts, thick cut smokey bacon, roasted tomatoes and arugula. Can you say yum? In addition to this epic BLT we sampled a chili dog (one of their other sandwiches du jour), and of course some sweet treats including a cupcake with passionfruit buttercream. Big thumbs up from us moms for their excellent coffee and espresso drinks as well. The shop is tiny making it a little challenging as a sit-down lunch stop with kids. There are just a few stools inside and strollers definitely get in the way. If you get lucky, there might be a spot on one of the benches out front.

Why Bernal Heights Bees Make Honey That’s More Sweet


According to Alexandra Danieli, Bernal Heights is more pure, more beautiful, and more wholesome than other places. Our higher quality inputs yield higher quality output — in this case, better honey.

Danieli doesn’t put it quite that way, but Bernalwood is quite confident that’s what she meant:

Perhaps motivated by a drive to prop up the bee populations decimated by colony collapse disorder, beekeeping has become popular in cities worldwide. We visit one San Francisco beekeeper who keeps her hive in a Bernal Heights backyard where she escapes once a week to check on her colony. For Alexandra Danieli, beekeeping is part meditation and part fascination with a magical world of GPS, honing pheromones and group intelligence.

An Impolitic Question You May or May Not Want to Answer

Someone posted a rather impolitic question on Quora, one of those crowdsourced online question-and-answer services:

I’m not going to touch this one — because a) I’m a hetero guy, and b) I spend more time at El Rio than Wild Side West, and c) I wasn’t aware of the stereotype. (“Dang, I thought the lesbians lived on Valencia!“) But hey, if you’re feeling game, feel free to answer either at Quora, or in the comments here.

House Portrait: Did Patty Hearst Sleep Here?

Did Patty Hearst Sleep Here?

During her unfortunate “Tania” phase, did Patty Hearst hole up in this house on Precita Aveneue? Perhaps. In court, she later testified that she’d visited this house at 288 Precita once.

In 1975, during the Patty Hearst kidnapping, this was one of two San Francisco safe houses used by the Symbionese Liberation Army. (The other was 625 Morse Street.) Here’s  how Time magazine described the scene in the Sept. 29, 1975 issue:

Charles Bates, head of the FBI’s San Francisco office and the man directing the overall search for Patty, ordered a watch to be kept on both dwellings. On Precita Avenue, four agents sat in a light green Ford LTD parked at the curb, and three more waited in a yellow and white camper just down the block. The agents wore sandals, beards and beads, hoping to blend in with the inhabitants of the area. Still, neighbors spotted the stakeout and watched with considerable interest to find out who was being trailed. No one appears to have suspected the athletic and pleasant young couple who had just moved into an apartment in the neo-Victorian structure at 288 Precita.

At 1:15 p.m. last Thursday—a clear, cool day that was perfect for running—the couple from No. 288 came down the stairs and went loping off to nearby Bernal Park. The agents thought they knew who the two were from sightings the day before, but they still were not sure. “Our pictures of them were almost two years old,” says an agent. But when the pair came jogging back home, there was no longer any doubt. The four agents leaped out of the LTD, and the other three came sprinting from the nearby camper. They were armed with pistols, a sawed-off shotgun and submachine guns. One watching neighbor later recalled, “They [the agents] seemed very nervous and shaky.” The woman tried to get away, only to be caught within 20 ft. But the man calmly put up his hands, says another witness, “like a little kid who had been caught doing something wrong.” His attitude seemed to be, she adds, ” ‘Well, I’m caught.’ ” Swiftly, the FBI agents handcuffed William and Emily Harris.

Then, as city police cars closed off both ends of the block, some agents hurried into the apartment; while others, guns drawn, burst into a few of the neighboring houses to look unsuccessfully for Patty Hearst. In the Harrises’ apartment, the FBI found 40 pounds of black explosive powder, three .30-cal., fully automatic carbines, two shotguns, two pistols and a substantial amount of ammunition.

Patty Hearst was found less than two hours later at the house on Morse Avenue.

Italian Meatball Lunch at Immaculate Conception Church

Italian meatballs4

A confession: When I read about this event, I immediately experienced a powerful Pavlovian Response.

If you’re around the ‘hood tomorrow at noon, you might want to stop by the St. Anthony’s Immaculate Conception Church for a benefit lunch:

Jan. 19, Noon: The popular third Wednesday Italian lunch at the Immaculate Conception Church in the Church Hall at 3255 Folsom St., up the hill from Cesar Chavez and Precita Ave. Come on up to Bernal Heights for the city’s best pasta and meatballs! $8 per person, family style, includes salad. Beverages are available for purchase.

Now, my understanding is that this is a longstanding gig at Immaculate Conception — the Italian lunch has been taking place on the third Wednesday of the month for many, many moons. Yet I must also confess to some befuddlement as to why this salivation-inducing benefit is held at noon on a Wednesday… instead of, say, during the evening, when hungry workingfolk in the neighborhood might realistically hope to attend. And when I say “workingfolk,” I mean… me.

Photo: blogchefdotnet

It Was a Beautiful Sunday to Go Fly the Dog

Air Doggie

Doggie Kite

We don’t have a dog. But we do have a doggie kite.

And since it was such a lovely weekend, my 3 year-old and I decided to take our doggie kite up to Bernal Heights Park, to go flying with all the real dogs that were also enjoying the nice weather on the hill.

Air Doggie

At first my daughter expected the local canines to love her kite  — doggies should love a doggie, right? — but she quickly realized the more complicated truth: “The dogs think our kite is weird,” she said.

Off the Hill: Adios Discolandia, Adios Chris Daly, Hola Fried Chicken Sandwiches on Wheels

What’s going on in other neighborhoods around the City?  We scour the Interwebs… so you don’t have to!

Some dude named Ed Lee is now Mayor of San Francisco (SF Chronicle)

New SF Supervisor Sean Elsbernd used holy water to purge the unholy ghost of ex-Supervisor Chris Daly (City Insider)

Oopsie! A Muni bus crashed into a bus shelter on Mission at 24th (Muni Diaries)

Sad. 24th Street’s iconic Discolandia is going out of business (MissionMission)

A new gourmet food truck serves pulled pork and fried chicken sandwiches (SFoodie)

Wanna buy a castle in Hunter’s Point on the cheap? (CurbedSF)

Someone is hanging guerilla birdhouses all over town (UptownAlmanac)

Long before the Doggie Diner, Fat Boy Barbecue was SF’s burger joint by the beach (Ocean Beach Bulletin)

Photo: Discolandia on January 8, 2011, by Ame Otoko