Oh hey! Need some great Sunday reading? The dynamic husband-and-wife duo of Ellsworth neighbors Elizabeth Weil and Daniel Duane have a terrific husband-and-wife pair of articles in today’s New York Times.
Read Neighbor Liz’s explanation of why San Francisco bagels suck, and why there’s hope for a better bagel future!
Read Neighbor Dan’s article on the growing popularity of rock climbing and climbing gyms!
PHOTO: Telstar Logistics
To those who fret that Bernal Heights has become too safe, too comfortable, too nice, too fetishized, and too bourgeois, we bring some fantastic news: According to a popular reality TV show, Bernal Heights is too ghetto!
Woo-hoooooooo!
Bravo network’s Million Dollar Listing San Francisco is a reality TV series about slick realtors hustling to sell high-value homes. It’s a Jersey Shore-style drama, only with less tawdry beach sex and more granite countertops. About a million Americans watch the show each week, and on Wednesday night’s episode, one of the more oily realtors was having a tough time selling a home in a “crap neighborhood” called Bernal Heights.
Our Bernalphile friends at CurbedSF explain what happened next:
This week’s episode of Million Dollar Listing San Francisco was the most entertaining of the series so far, but possibly only because it was so completely, utterly filled with plot lines that bear no resemblance to the real world. Unlike last week’s show, there were plenty of new houses to gawk at this time around, and the realtors themselves seemed to fade into the background a bit. The best story line of all was one in which Bernal Heights—the same Bernal named the hottest neighborhood in the whole country by Redfin last year, the Bernal where houses are snatched from the market for hundreds of thousands over asking in mere days—was made out to be a quasi-ghetto where buyers were so turned off that they didn’t even bother to show up for open houses.
The Bernal plot line kicks off when Andrew gets a listing at 535 Gates Street. It’s a classic Bernal flip, and developer Anders Kang has spent $500,000 renovating the property. He wants $2 million, but Andrew talks him down to listing for $1.8 million. “This is not Pacific Heights,” he explains. “This is Bernal Heights, meaning this is going to be a challenge.” Is he living in the 1990s or something? His only challenge should be how to fit prospective buyers into the place for an open house.
Andrew sets up several private showings, only to be blown off by nearly all of the buyers. “Hey Andrew, couldn’t find a buyer for Bernal Heights,” one agent texts. “Let me know if you have something in Noe Valley.” We concede that there are some less-than-ideal things about the property’s location. It sits on the south side of Bernal, which is less sought after than the north side. Neighbors have chickens and curtains for windows, and an adjacent house is covered in peeling paint. “We’ve got a great house in a crap neighborhood,” Andrew explains to a colleague. “What have you seen there?” she asks. “A couple of drug deals?” he answers flippantly. Enough already! This is Bernal! And the house is two blocks from the heart of Cortland Avenue and about a five-minute walk to Holly Park.
There’s a whole bit where Andrew realizes that maybe there are some local tech shuttle stops but cannot find any. Then, the segment wraps up with Justin appearing at Andrew’s open house to say that he couldn’t bring any of his tech buyers over because the listing is on the wrong side of Bernal. By this point, we were laughing so hard at the depiction of Bernal as a wasteland that we didn’t even catch whatever the drama between Andrew and Justin was.
Ohmigod!! Right??
And it gets even better: Some people on Twitter confirm that it sucks here!
Others say Bernal is just rough around the edges:
Some believe the fundamentals don’t make any sense:
While other are just plain cynical:
Still, all in all, this might well be the best thing to happen to Bernal’s street cred since that Bigfoot sighting in 2012.
It’s official: We’re rough. We’re edgy. We’re out of the way. Techies think we are squalid. This week, a million Americans learned that respectable, high-achieving people want nothing whatsoever to do with Bernal Heights. Which, of course, can only mean…
WE ARE FUCKING COOL AGAIN!
PHOTO: Top, 535 Gates via SFMLS
Neighbor Blake Fetcher lives in the upper altitudes of Prentiss Street, where he also produces a podcast called Half-Hour Intern. Neighbor Blake explains that it is…
A podcast about people. Their jobs. Their hobbies. Their passions. And real world advice for how you can get started. My name is Blake Fletcher and I love learning about the world around me. I want to learn from the experiences of every day people telling their stories about Who they are, What they do, How they got started, Why they do it, and What advice they would give to somebody that wanted to get started. Along the way I hope to help people pick up a new hobby… maybe even a new career!
In previous episodes, Neighbor Blake has interviewed a vascular surgeon, a professional dancer, a tour manager, and a skydiver. With no one interesting left to interview, he recently invited me, your lowly Bernalwood editor, to be a guest on his show.
That episode is now live, and if you tune your streaming audio player to Neighbor Blake’s show, you will learn:
You can listen to the episode for free, right here via an iTunes near you.
Thanks to Neighbor Blake for the fun conversation, and thanks to all of Bernalwood’s readers for all the things you do.
Big news: The Old Bus Tavern (3193 Mission @Valencia), the new Southwestern-style brewpub that’s been in the works for months, opens for business tonight, Thursday July 23.
Your Bernalwood editor attended a glamorous preview dinner at Old Bus last night, but we’ll tell you more about that in a moment. First, let’s hear what the local fooderati are saying about this new addition to our neighborhood.
Writing for InsideScoop, here’s Sarah Fritsche:
The creation of partners and long-time friends, Jimmy Simpson, John Zirinsky and Bennett Buchanan, the unusually named brewpub Old Bus Tavern (named after Zirinsky’s 1978 Volkswagen Westfalia bus) is finally set to open its doors this Thursday (July 23).
Late last week, the trio were kind enough to give Inside Scoop a pre-opening peek at what to expect from the new Bernal Heights restaurant and brewery.
When you walk through the door, the first thing you notice is the gleaming, and open to the dining room, custom brewery made for the restaurant by Portland Kettleworks. Both Zirinsky and Buchanan, who began as avid home brewers eight years ago, will oversee the beer program. […]
Aside from the brew kettles, the other main focal point in the 49-seat dining room, which is designed by Sarah Greenwood Design (Greenwood also happens to be Zirinsky’s mother), is a collection of antique Navajo rugs that decorate the walls.
The rugs belong to Zirinsky’s uncle, who has been collecting Native American art and artifacts since the 1970s. “He’s had these rugs in storage for 25 years, so my mom had the idea, why don’t we ask Tom if we can take the rugs out of storage and put them up on the walls? It’s great to have a personal family connection, but also it just looks cool together,” says Zirinsky.
The Southwestern motif also carries over to the cocktails and food.
That’s a key thing to understand about Old Bus: They have a serious Southwestern thing going on, with an emphasis on the “serious.” But more about that in a moment, really, because headline of Thrillist’s story says the Old Bus “could be the best SF opening of the year”:
Located in Bernal Heights, this casual brewpub serves game changing drinks and eats in a cool, friendly atmosphere. Chef Max Snyder worked in four Michelin-starred restaurants before coming to Old Bus and offers way-elevated pub fare like pickled quail eggs served on a bed of fried onions. The beers are awesome, from the Old Bus Tavern Lemon Basil Saison to their OBT Chili Porter, which is brewed with Valrhona cocoa nibs and 60lbs of roasted Poblano chiles. Cocktails aren’t to be missed either…really, you should just order everything on the menu.
Zagat is excited too. So is SFist. So is Tablehopper.
Okay, yeah, so a whole lot of people who don’t live in Bernal Heights say they are excited about this new place in Bernal Heights. But as a card-carrying Citizen of Bernalwood, with Old Bus Tavern at your doorstep, should you be excited about the place too?
Oh hell yes.
The team that created the Old Bus has worked incredibly hard to make it happen, and the results of their effort are impressive. During last night’s glamorous preview dinner, your Bernalwood editor remarked that the interior of the space is warm and interesting. It’s modern and refined, with an unmistakable southwestern vibe. In fact, that basically describes every aspect of The Old Bus Tavern: modern and refined, with an unmistakable southwestern vibe.
I did a robust exploration of a few signature cocktails, and they were terrific.
One clever standout was the OBT (with tequila, orange curaçao, lime, and a homemade poblano pepper syrup). It’s like a craft margarita with a spicy kick that lends itself to slow-paced sipping. Loved it.
The beer program is just getting up to speed, with an Old Bus Lemon Basil Saison on tap now. A homebrew Opening Day IPA and Chili Porter are expected to be ready later in the week. And all of it is made right onsite, in the kettles near the center of the dining room:
Otherwise, you can also get any of this:
The food was much more ambitious than I’d expected — divey cuisine, this is not. The pickled quail eggs with fried onions was sublime. The chilled eggplant soup tasted like something that came from Santa Fe by way of Cairo. The onion spaetzel was creative and fresh. The chili with pequin chiles was tender, rich, and intense:
Wow.
Here’s the full menu. NOTE: Before snarking about the prices, please read the fine print: “Service and tax are included in all of our menu prices; no tipping is necessary. Our revenue sharing system allows us to pay our entire staff a living wage.”
Oh, and did I mention that it opens to the public tonight? As with any new restaurant, expect a few bumps at first, but Bernalwood recommends trying out the Old Bus Tavern sooner rather than later, because this place probably won’t be a local secret for very long.
Big congrats to the Old Bus Team, and welcome to the neighborhood.
PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics
Neighbor Craig reports that a flock of wild parrots has been spotted in eastern Bernal’s Dogpatch-Miller Community Garden.
That makes sense, because it’s an election year, and Aaron Peskin is on the ballot.
As you must certainly recall, in 2012 ornithologists from the Bernalwood Political Research Unit determined that the wild parrots in Bernal Heights “are refugees from Telegraph Hill who fled to Bernal Heights to escape the stultifying NIMBYism and shrill politics of that part of the City in general — and Aaron Peskin in particular.”
At the moment, Aaron Peskin is campaigning to once again represent District 3 on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. So the move by these free-spirited parrots to seek sanctuary several miles from Telegraph Hill should come as no surprise.
Please welcome the dissident parrots with the warmth and neighborly generosity for which Bernal Heights is world-famous.
PHOTOS: Craig Saitowitz
Daybreak this morning reveals that a vandal damaged the Epicurean Trader on Cortand overnight by spray-painting political slogans on the store’s facade.
The graffiti says: “Banal Heights” and “Traitor for the 1%.”
A hot-take analysis by the Bernalwood Office of Propaganda Research concluded that the vandal apparently suffers from a narcissistic righteousness disorder, exacerbated by feelings of contempt. Further semiotic inquiry also reveals conspicuously tidy handwriting, rote sloganeering, and an unfortunate weakness for bad puns.
Bernalwood will provide further updates as they become available.
UPDATE: Bernalwood has confirmed that Pinhole Coffee was tagged as well.
PHOTOS: @rallyp
Neighbor Sarah Rogers tells Bernalwood about the passing of Neighbor Karen Huggins:
Neighbor Karen Huggins died of cancer in mid-June.
Karen was an activist who lived in Bernal’s Holly Courts public-housing development, and she was committed to social justice on behalf of both public-housing residents and the larger community. She frequently worked with the Bernal Heights Neighborhood Center, Supervisor David Campos and his staff, and many Bernal neighbors and groups. She served on the Ingleside Police Station’s community police advisory board and helped author the city’s 2011 ordinance on community policing. She was president of the Holly Courts Resident Council and a tireless advocate for residents of public housing.
Karen “fought fiercely for economic and racial justice, with a twinkle in her eye and great love and humor,” says neighbor Buck Bagot.
Karen “was one of the most incredible people I’ve met,” adds Supervisor Campos. “She was brilliant, driven, and passionate. She was also a character, with a great sense of style and class. She was the kind of person who made an entrance, someone you were bound to remember. She was one of a kind, a quintessential Bernal personality.”
“Karen had a vision,” recalls Bobby Cochran, a Holly Courts resident and sergeant-at-arms of the Holly Courts Residents Council. He first met Karen when he was sweeping up broken glass at Holly Courts, and she asked if he needed a push broom. “Everything you needed, she had,” he said. After he retired from his job, she persuaded him to join the Residents Council, even though he was reluctant at first, having never participated in local politics. “You’ll learn,” she told him, advice she gave many others at Holly Courts.
Soon, he found himself traversing San Francisco to attend and speak at hearings and “meeting people I never thought I’d meet.” Karen had a vision for making Holly Courts a place that was truly a part of the surrounding neighborhood, in its appearance and in its level of safety and civility. She worked tirelessly to get safety-related issues like broken lights and security gates repaired, and she helped get the units repainted. Karen had memorized all housing-related bylaws and knew how to navigate government departments and work with city officials and staff. “I learned a lot from her,” Cochran said. “I wish she was still here to teach me more.”
Karen was “a force to be reckoned with,” said Ailed Paningbatan-Swan, director of community engagement at the Bernal Heights Neighborhood Center. But Karen also had “a nurturing and loving side that radiated from her, rejuvenating those around her. She shared with me her struggles with her sickness while also taking care of me while I was pregnant. She called me every week to check in and made sure I was doing okay with my pregnancy, and she couldn’t wait to meet my baby. I’m truly sad that she wasn’t able to meet my son.”
Nicole Hatfield, youth coordinator (and former youth participant) at the BHNC, attributed her career choice to Karen’s influence and said, “I will never forget her spirit and tenacity to continue working in public housing and striving for her communities to flourish.”
Karen did not want people to know how sick she was, so her death came as a shock to many who knew her. As her cancer progressed, she held an emotional meeting with the Residents Council, Cochran says, explaining that she wanted them to step up, to watch each others’ backs, to trust each other, and to always remember that “you’re not in it for personal gain. You’re in it for Holly Courts, the residents, and the greater community.”
“It’s hard to imagine the world without Karen,” Supervisor Campos said in a Facebook post after her death. “San Francisco certainly will not be the same without her. I feel lucky and blessed that I got to know Karen. And I know that the best thing we can do to honor her is to rededicate ourselves to social justice and to her passion — making sure that we do right by the residents of Holly Courts and all of public housing in San Francisco.”
PHOTO: Karen Huggins
Psst. Hey! Want to get a tree in front of your house? Friends of the Urban Forest (FUF) has scheduled one of their periodic Bernal Heights tree plantings for September, but the time to sign up to get a tree is now. FUF coordinator Kyle Lemle tells Bernalwood:
We at Friends of the Urban Forest are organizing a tree planting in the Bernal Heights on September 26th.
The deadline to apply for this planting is August 12th. The plantings are a fantastic way to build community, neighbors come and help each other plant their trees, and then join together for a community potluck at the end.
We are hosting a happy hour at Bernal resident John Monson’s house at 185 Lundys Lane, on Tuesday, July 21st. We will serve wine and cheese, answer any tree-related questions, and discuss ideas on how to plant more trees in Bernal Heights.
I will answer tree related questions and make sure we are set for a big neighborhood planting in Bernal Heights! We will have some wine and cheese and brainstorm outreach ideas to get even more trees planted in the neighborhood.
Can you make it?
Tree Planting “Happy Hour” for Bernal Heights
Where: The home of Neighbor John, 185 Lundys Lane (@Virginia), SF
Date: Tuesday, July 21st
Time: 6:30pm to 7:30pm
PHOTO: Courtesy of Friends of the Urban Forest
Alert! Alert! Alert! There’s been a recent uptick in daytime home burglaries. Captain McFadden from SFPD’s Ingleside Station has a few words to say about this, but first, Neighbor Marcos shares his sad story:
I wanted to let the good folks of Bernal aware of a recent burglary. I live in a downstairs flat on Florida between Precita and Peralta. On the morning of July 4th thieves entered my building by prying open a street-facing window and busting the window lock. They quickly went through the front two rooms taking laptops, a television and other electronics. They quickly rifled through a few drawers of my media center before leaving out the front door. Apparently, they did not go into the back portion of the home. What is particularly concerning is that this occurred between 10:00 am and 11:15 am, while my partner and I were out to coffee. This leads me to believe that we were being watched and the thieves waited until both we and my upstairs neighbor left. That is creepy as hell.
I have to give my hat off to the SFPD. I completely expected them to not show or simply arrive, leave a report and immediately take off. They did not. Officer Campos arrived within an hour and a half (not bad for July 4th or any other time in SF, really) He was professional and patient. He took his time to thoroughly investigate the scene and then blew my socks off when he said, “I’ll get the CSI unit over here. Maybe we can get a good print.” CSI unit? For a home invasion that must happen all the time every day? Okay. A few hours later two CSI officers arrived and were just as thorough. They ended up finding a few prints. Since then, SFPD has followed up with me regarding what they are doing and how things will move forward. I have no expectations of my belongings ever being recovered but it’s nice to see that the police force is taking this crime seriously and seemingly applying resources to it.
By the way, Officer Campos did say that there has been increased crime activity in the neighborhood over the past six months. Let’s all please keep an eye out for each other. We have a fantastic neighborhood.
In response to Neighbor Marcos, Captain McFadden had this to say:
First of all, I am extremely sorry to hear that you were the victim of a burglary. We have had a severe increase across the city in them for several reasons. I appreciate the kind words that you’ve said about Officer Campos. He is definitely one of my top officers here at Ingleside Station and has been for several years.
As an FYI, Most burglaries are perpetrated by suspects around the times of 10 AM- 2 PM and are the result of a “casing” of the residence by the suspects. This is why it is extremely important that Bernal residents call the non-emergency number 415-553-0123 whenever they see something or someone who seems to be suspicious.
Make sure to describe the person and activity they are doing very specifically. The responding officers may just stop a crime before it happens by letting the suspects know that they are being watched by your attentive neighbors. If there is anything we can ever help you with please feel free to contact me at Ingleside Station…415-404-4000.
PHOTO: RickM2007
Neighbor Ron created a new product for dog owners, and he wants to offer you a neighborly discount:
I’ve been a Bernal resident for almost 3 years now (moved from North Beach), and I absolutely love the neighborhood. Being a dog enthusiast my whole life, I was thrilled to be moving into Bernal Heights where dogs and people seem to live in perfect harmony. A couple years ago, toxic plastic bags were being discontinued in favor of BYOB and paper bags, which cut into the supply of bags to pick up after your pets.
The pet stores around the Bay Area still sold plastic bags for dog owners, and I decided to search for a different solution. After conducting some research, I decided the problem could be solved with en eco-friendly dog waste bag, made entirely out of natural materials.
Bark Bags are made from corn starch, and they’re non toxic and designed in San Francisco. We are on a mission to help dog owners Reduce their Carbon Paw Print by picking up after their pooches with eco friendly bags.
Click here for 5% off and Free Shipping: Use the code Bernal
PHOTO: Neighbor Ron
The latest data from the real estate data people tells us that San Francisco’s median home sale price is now $1.16 milliion, while the median home sale price increase in Bernal Heights has skyrocketed by a gasp-worthy 97% between 2011 and today. Oh my.
It’s kind of absurd, which makes the new property listing video for 52 Mirabel an apt document for our times. 52 Mirabel is listed by Bernal neighbors and realtors Danielle Lazier and Michael Minson, and it has an asking price of $1,998,000. Neighbors Danielle and Michael went all-in on the “local culture” angle by creating a super-fun video for the home that stars the fabulous Mercedez Munro and Katya Smirnoff-Skyy as your glamorous tour guides:
Like much great comedy, the listing for 52 Mirabel holds up well to repeated listening, with lots of highly memorable, highly quotable lines. Take, for example, this description of the amenities:
On the lower level we have two large bedrooms with a Jack and Jill bathroom!
Or Jack and Jack. Or Jill and Jill. Who are we to judge?
If there is a such a thing as a Real Estate Video Hall of Fame, this one seems like a shoe-in.
But darling, who are we to judge?
BONUS! Here is the blooper reel.
As you know, America’s Most Badass Volvo Station Wagon is a proud resident of Bernal Heights.
Driven competitively by the Bernal Dads Racing Team in the 24 Hours of LeMons racing series, “The Whale” is currently en route from Bernal Heights to scenic Shelton, Washington to compete in a weekend race at The Ridge Motorsports Park.
Yesterday, as Neighbor Stephan dragged The Whale into Oregon for the first time, Bernalwood received unconfirmed reports that Oregon governor Kate Brown had ordered the distribution of mandatory tetanus shot boosters for all residents of the Beaver State:
Now on its third engine, second transmission, third hood, fourth bumper, third pair of front fenders, second electrical system, and second windshield, The Whale will roll at The Ridge this weekend to bring honor and glory to all the peoples of Bernal Heights. Maybe.
If you’d like to keep track of the spectacle, follow Bernal Dads Racing on Facebook for photos and updates.
PHOTOS: Bernal Dads Racing
Neighbors Nancy and Joan have been meeting with folks from Supervisor Campos’s office, and they bring an urgent update on the effort to rebuilt and revive the Esmeralda/Winfield Slide Park Plaza. Here’s how you can help:
Everybody is on board to rebuild the plaza structures. We do have initial support from DPW. The cost to rebuild the planter box, trellis, and benches is greater than the $20k generously allocated from Campos’ office to DPW for the rebuild. DPW has agreed to go back to the Mohammed Nuru (the Director of DPW) to see what additional funds can be had, if any. Meanwhile, we’ve been advised to apply for the Community Challenge Grant. This grant happens annually and allows communities to apply for matching funds for community projects.
There is a Community Grant Workshop this Saturday, July 11.
Neighbor Joan will be attending with regards to the Esmeralda Slide Park Plaza rebuild. This grant is the best way for us to start moving forward with our community input to make the rebuild happen.
Please RSVP if you plan on attending.
If you’re interested in being actively involved in the Esmeralda Slide Park Plaza rebuild, please email nancy*AT*windesheimdesign.com.
We need volunteers to make this project happen… so please Get Onboard!
PHOTO: Esmeralda/Winfield Slide Plaza on June 16, 2015 (now removed). Photo by Nancy Wildensheim
Bernalwood 