Though glamorous, Bernalwood is a small place. But we do not suffer here: We’ve got stunning views, amazing sushi, internationally recognized butchers, yummy piroshkis, hand-crafted cocktails… and all the amenities that befit a neighborhood of our haughty stature and global renown.

We’ve pretty much got it all… except for Slurpees.

Alas, there is currently no place for Bernalwoodians to go to get that distinctive Slurpee mix of semifrozen water, high-fructose corn syrup, and searing cranial pain. That will soon change, thanks to the kingpins at 7-Eleven, who have seen fit to endow us with a 7-Eleven store of our very own! (So long as we don’t mind sharing it with the Vassals of La Lengua.)

The new 7-Eleven will join our neighborhood on Mission Street at 30th. Apart from Slurpees, they will also sell inexpensive hot dogs, taquitos in several unholy flavors, and Big Gulp fountain drinks served in cups so large that many Bernal residents will be able to repurpose them for use as above-ground swimming pools. Woo-hoo!

PHOTOS: Top, Slurpee mosaic by Tom Magliery Bottom, Reader Colette. 

Posers!

Public outrage has apparently won out as Wellington Airport backed down from plans to erect a giant “Welllywood” across a hillside overlooking New Zealand’s capital city.

“The sign has always been about putting Wellington firmly on the map as a film-tourism destination and the process to date has exceeded our expectations of international media coverage,” Wellington Airport Chief Executive Steve Fitzgerald said in a statement Wednesday. “The name Wellywood was chosen from a process 15 months ago, but clearly has opposition. For this reason, we have decided to put options through a community selection process.”

Meanwhile, I’ve been working up a few branding/redecorating concepts for Bernal Heights. To honor our friends from Oceania, here’s one with a Down Under theme:

Hat tip: @rx

Reader Andrew regularly walks by the site of the former Coco Cafe, at the corner of Mission Street and Eugenia. He says that while there’s a new sign outside, progress inside seems to be veeeeery slllllooooowwww:

Can you do an investigation on Melody Cafe.. aka old Coco Cafe on Mission? Have you noticed that Melody Cafe has been under construction for almost a year? I am beginning to suspect that maybe they are developing a subterranean Mega cafe network.

Luckily I do work. But occasionally I am in the ‘hood during the afternoon and never see anyone there. No one on weekends. But it is slowly creeping towards completion… of some sort.

Another observation… who ever is working on it likes coffee and Coke. There is always a cup or bottle on the counter.

His girlfriend, Reader Colette, sent along our photo, along with a first-hand sighting of humanoid creatures inside:

I was very surprised to see the lights on, and two people inside working. They had their backs turned and were discussing something very seriously. I did not want to interrupt, and so have missed a golden opportunity to solve the mystery right then and there! But perhaps other blog followers will be able to shed some light on this mysterious cafe.

Anyone have any insight on what’s in store for the Melody Cafe? This is a job for the BIA!

PHOTO: Reader Colette

This would be funny, but for the fact that it’s also so sadly emblematic of the entire farce…

During a meeting yesterday to discuss Supervisor David Campos’s proposal to save Bernalwood’s historic Coca-Cola sign, our City bureaucrats ran up against a very difficult challenge: What should these kind of signs be called?????

The stoic Will Kane from the San Francisco Chronicle attended the meeting, and he manages to tell the tale while more or less maintaining a straight face:

At their meeting Thursday, planning commissioners were stuck trying to find words besides “commemorative” and “historic” to describe, well, historic, commemorative signs.

The sign in question was the infamous vintage Coca-Cola sign in Bernal Heights. Estimated to have been painted in the 1930s, the city determined in February that it was actually an “unpermitted general advertising sign” and required it be painted over.

The outcry from neighbors and local bloggers caused Supervisor David Campos, whose district includes the sign, to introduce legislation to protect historic – er, commemorative, er special – signs in San Francisco.

That legislation was approved unanimously Thursday, but not before a discussion about the best way to describe the sign. City staff said they wanted to avoid the word “historic” because that suggested the sign was a landmark with a capital L, like the iconic City Lights Bookstore.

But commissioners said they didn’t really like commemorative, either.

“That sounds like the Washington Mall and commemorative plaques and monuments et cetera,” said Commissioner Kathrin Moore. “This is more about honoring a period piece or whatever the proper word is. But it is not commemorative. I am not commemorating Coca Cola. It is really the role this piece plays as an expression of a particular place and time. Is there a better word? It is too serious, that word.”

HINT FOR CITY BUREAUCRATS: Here in Bernalwood, we view our Coke mural as “vintage commercial artwork.” We feel this phrasing affords such historic resources the proper respect they deserve. But if you’re feeling lazy, or worried about making all that fit in your Tweets, then “vintage sign” will certainly suffice. Knock yourself out.

On the bright side, the Planning Commission did approve Campos’s plan and passed it along to the Board of Supervisors, so we hope they will have better luck with this.

Okay… next agenda item?

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

This is heartbreaking. SFFD firefighter Lt. Vincent Perez perished yesterday while battling a residential blaze on Berkeley Way in Diamond Heights. Two other firefighters were also injured in the incident. According to the SF Chronicle, Perez grew up in Bernal Heights:

A sudden flash of 1,000-degree heat at a house fire Thursday claimed the life of a veteran San Francisco firefighter who was trapped with his colleagues in the hillside home.

Lt. Vincent Perez, 48, died trying to extinguish a fire at the four-story home in Diamond Heights. He was caught in a “flashover” – an unexpected explosion caused when temperatures rise so high the contents of a room spontaneously ignite, Fire Department spokeswoman Mindy Talmadge said. […]

Perez was a San Francisco firefighter for 21 years. He was born and raised in the Mission District and Bernal Heights, and was known for his courage and sense of humor, said Tom O’Connor, head of the firefighters union.

“He was always the first guy in a fire and the last guy out,” O’Connor said. “He lightened up the mood at the firehouse. … He was a firefighter’s firefighter.”

The flag flew at half-staff in front of Fire Station 26 in Diamond Heights, where a station crew member said two of the three firefighters were based.

UPDATE 6/4/11 o8:39:

In a follow-up article, the Chronicle tells us that Perez was raised on Wool Street, dined often at the Old Clam House, and complained about its recent remodel:

Perez, the second-oldest of five children, was raised on Wool Street in Bernal Heights. He knew the neighboring Mission District so well he could tell other firefighters which streets had overhead wires so they knew whether they could raise their ladders, colleagues said.

He spent his teenage years cruising Mission Street in a two-tone 1951 Lincoln. Even after attending City College of San Francisco, serving in the Marine Corps, being a deputy sheriff and then a firefighter, Perez maintained his childhood friendships and his taste for vintage cars.

“To this day, he hung out with the guys he grew up with,” Rivera said.

Perez even kept his youthful nickname – nearly everyone called him “Creature.

“When he was a kid … he had super-long arms and legs,” Rivera said. “When he used to run, he was kind of clumsy, and they used to call him ‘the Creature from the Black Lagoon.’ … He just shortened it to Creature.”

One of Perez’s favorite hangouts was the Old Clam House on Bayshore Boulevard, even though he groused when it was remodeled.

“He was one of those guys, a native San Franciscan,” Rivera said.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics and Bay City News

Hey Filmmakers!

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema has extended the deadline until June 15 for submission of short films/videos for its 8th annual end-of-summer film screenings, August 31- September 4, 2011. Local filmmakers and artists who have participated in the production, promotion or distribution of a film are encouraged to submit their work to the five-day showcase of local, independently produced content shown to city-wide audiences in parks, playgrounds and open spaces.

Shorts in all genres are accepted:

–       Animation
–       Narrative
–       Art/experimental
–       Documentary
–       Children’s
–       Music videos
–       Works-in-progress
–       Trailers

Requirements call for programming and language to be appropriate for general audiences.
A complete Submission package including DVD preview, contact info, bio, press kit is requested. Visit www.bhoutdoorcine.org for details or call (415) 641-0324. No entry fee necessary.

Awards are given to filmmakers in the categories of:

• Best of Bernal Award
• Spirit of Bernal Award
• Audience Award

Esther Landau captured this divine moment over the weekend, as the sun broke through to illuminate the summit of our hilltop. Notice also that the seasonal transition is now complete, and Bernal Hill is fully flaxen.

PHOTO: Esther Landau

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics