How to Annoy Your Neighbors: Park Like This Guy

/ Todd_Lappin / 17 Comments

Two Spaces
This car was parked near my house on a recent morning. Normally, there’s room for two cars to park in this space. But on this day, there was only one. And somewhere, I heard a neighbor gnashing her teeth in exasperation.

If cars that park too close to a driveway cutout are a bane to some Bernalwood garagistas, the equivalent for street-parkers must be cars that greedily occupy two street parking spaces as if they were just one.  As reader Marco put it recently:

Is there a DPT sign to put on windshields of cars that leave six feet between the edge of the driveway and the front bumper and take up two parking spaces?

Miss Manners would like to remind all Bernalwood motorists that we do not live in the suburbs, so please refrain from taking up two parking spaces when one would suffice. But let’s also remain mindful of those driveway curb cutouts. Not too far and not too close. Happy parking makes for a happier neighborhood. Thank you and carry on.

Photo: Telstar Logistics

When Infrastructure Attacks: Rogue Water Plume Menaces the Portola District

/ Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

Water Plume
From her observation post in Bernal Heights, peephole spotted this rogue water plume inundating our neighbors to the south.

Viewed from our Bernal Window. It’s over at Bowdoin and Burrows in the Portola District. It’s been going a while now.

(I noticed it about 15 minutes ago, still going around 10:30am. Exciting update. At 10:44, it was gone.)

This may have been another gift from our friends at DPW, but based on the color, at least it doesn’t look like the icky Sewage Fountain they installed recently on Bocana.

Photo: Peephole

Shepard Fairey on Bayshore Boulevard (And Your Living Room)

/ Todd_Lappin / 7 Comments

Very long story short… I’ve been following Shepard Fairey’s work ever since we were both students in Providence, Rhode Island during the 1980s. (I saw his early-career Andre the Giant/Buddy Cianci billboard hack live and in person, and it was sublime.) Since then, our paths have crossed many times,  both online and in person. And now they’ve crossed again, on Bernalwood’s back door.

On March 10, Fairey will offer screen prints of a 2003 street art installation of his Obey graphic on Bayshore Boulevard.  Step lively if you want want to get one to enjoy in the safety and comfort of your own home:

I’m illustrating some of my favorite street spots from over the years to be included in the LA MOCA “Art In The Streets” show, so I decided to make prints of some of my favorites. This one is from Bayshore Blvd. in San Francisco around 2003. Photo by Mark the Cobra Snake. The silhouette is some random lackey I hired because I don’t do street art myself.
-Shepard

18 x 24″ Screen Print, $45, Edition of 450, Limit 1 per person / household. Signed by Shepard Fairey. Release date: 3/10/2011 at a random time.

Image: Shepard Fairey

A Reader Recommendation for a Homegrown Internet Access Provider

/ Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

Reader WJ wrote to Bernalwood recently with a gushing customer testimonial about Monkeybrains, a Mission-based high-speed Internet bandwidth provider that offers service in Bernal Heights. Since I continue to muddle along in a loveless marriage with Comcast, I was intrigued. Perhaps you will be too.

WJ says:

After a couple of years struggling with scheming and incompetent Comcast technicians, and then dealing with the total unreliability of my DSL service, a friend of mine from work told me about Monkeybrains, another high speed internet service for the Mission/Bernal Heights area.

It’s not actually too good to be true, I had it installed and the speed is incredible (at least, compared to DSL it’s incredible).  There’s a $250 setup fee for all of the hardware but they are running a pilot program now so internet access is free until June (when it will go up to around $35/month).

The guys who run the company are local — the tech who set me up lives on the other side of Bernal hill from me — and when installing my devices today he noticed that my neighbor also had one of their antennas on their roof, so it seems like word is getting around.

I thought you might be interested in posting their website since their pilot program specifically targets Bernal Heights.  I’ve been using the service for about three weeks now and it’s been absolutely flawless.

Bernalwood has been assured that no monkeys are actually harmed while providing this Internet service, so no need to feel guilty about that.

More importantly, I was interested to see that Monkeybrains has a five-star rating on Yelp, which is more than a little impressive given that a) Monkeybrains is an ISP, after all and b) Yelp is swarming with crankypants.

Any other user testimonials? Add ’em in the comments!

Photo: A Monkeybrains antenna in Bernal Heights, by WJ

Yoga Reading, Yoga Stretching with Alternadad Neal Pollack

/ Todd_Lappin

Writer Neal Pollack wrote “Alternadad,” an all-too-poignant memoir about the challenge of being male and remaining cool even after having a kid. Since he now (presumably) has the whole parenting thing down pat, Pollack’s has turned his attention to yoga, while anointing himself the “Hot Jew of the Yoga Generation.”

Oy. In any event, Pollack’s new book is called “Stretch: The Unlikely Making of a Yoga Dude,” and you can attend a reading by the Yoga Dude himself at Bernal Yoga on Cortland from 7 to 9 pm on Saturday, March 5, 2011.

Campos Says Coca-Cola Mural is Not an Advertisement, Deserves Historic Protection

/ Todd_Lappin / 11 Comments

cola
On the subject of Bernal’s vintage Coca-Cola mural, it’s good to see that Supervisor David Campos has well and truly come around, at last. Today he told the San Francisco Examiner:

“We have decided that on balance the best approach is to move forward and protect the sign which ultimately is there, not for the purposes of advertising Coca Cola, but for the purpose really of giving us a sense what the neighborhood was like,” Campos said. “There is a historic value to that sign.”

Since that’s exactly what Bernalwood has been saying since day one, we can only say, Hurrah! The Examiner says Campos will introduce legislation next week to save the sign, and we’ll keep you posted as soon as the details become known.

Photo: Halsted Bernard

A Missed Connection On Cortland

/ Todd_Lappin / 2 Comments

Postitively Cortland
Because we’re all about the love, Bernalwood republishes this Missed Connection from Craigslist as a public service to romantics in our community:

You: Standing outside Bernal Yoga, short bobbed light-brown hair with a blue streak in front, petite, adorable. ~6pm, Monday (2/28).

Me: Walking distractedly down Cortland Ave. Brown hoodie, leather jacket, short dark hair, boyish. Noticed you standing there. You immediately riveted my attention. You looked up & caught me checking you out. Embarrassed, I looked down. When I dared glance back up, you met my gaze, took a sip from your water bottle then smiled. I smiled back and wanted to stop right there on the street to speak to you. Couldn’t think of a way fast enough before my walk carried me by. I crossed the street to Good Life grocery. You were getting on a bike, then rode out of my life.

Give me another chance to see your smile?

Photo: Telstar Logistics

Further Evidence That Bernal Heights Is Always In Fashion

/ Todd_Lappin / 3 Comments

When we say that Bernalwood is chic and glamorous, we’re not kidding. (Well, not always.) Hummingbird Girls is a cute vintage fashion website, and one of the site’s recent posts features a photo shoot taken on our always-glam hill:

When I first moved to San Francisco I lived in Bernal Heights. It’s a wonderful little neighborhood with lots of lovely shops down Courtland, the main road. The coffee shops are filled with regulars and The Good Life Market grocer knows your name. Now I live just below this pretty hill that always shines above the clouds. But it’s still nice to go and visit all my old haunts.

Oh, and for all you fashionistas keeping score at home:

Checkered dress: Flea Market
Black cardigan: thrifted
Black boots: thrifted
Embroidered bag: vintage from the emporium
Gold key double ring: Buffalo Exchange

Photos: Hummingbird Girls