Passive-Aggressive Scenes from the Folsom Parking Wars

/ Todd_Lappin / 49 Comments

It seems that tempers are flaring on Folsom Street near Ripley, just below the entrance to Bernal Heights Park. Handbills have been slipped under doormats, and posted on telephone poles. There is much grumbling afoot.

A neighbor’s original handwritten note, shown on the left above, complained about a car which had not been moved for some unspecified period of time. The recipient’s response, neatly typed on the left, gave no ground in the quarrel, while mocking the original writer for having nothing better to do.  Meow!

To understand the issue, Bernalwood reached out to our Embedded Correspondent in the area, and we received this neighborly perspective:

This is a big problem. I know who wrote the handwritten note. He’s a wonderful neighbor and would never intentionally harm or threaten another neighbor. He’s just frustrated. The problem is bigger than it seems.

This section of Folsom is not street cleaned, and people can park here for days legally, sometimes weeks illegally, without having to move their cars. There are a handful of work trucks, second cars for folks, that live on this block.

The hostility would go away of those of us on this block were not charged with maintaining the street out front. Trash and tree debris is allowed to collect between perma-parkers and if I don’t want to see it I have to do something about it (it’s easy to argue that tree debris is not trash, but tell that to the folks who think leaf piles are rubbish heaps). Unfortunately 311 can take weeks to react to trash left near the park because of jurisdiction issues. Sweeping this block has become hobby (along with the man who wrote the handwritten note), and neighbors share their compost and trashcan space for maintenance. Apparently one neighbor is unaware of his or her neighbors’ contributions and care and has decided to make matters worse with another note.

I think this “parking war” is a misunderstanding and a waste of time. We need signage, street sweeping and no dumping to make this problem go away. Not sarcastic notes.

Equally valuable is the perspective provided by new neighbor RallyP, who moved to Bernal Heights from Boston about a year ago. Observing the controversy, Rally writes:

Alas, but what can you expect? Mired in the depths of a brutal San Francisco winter, bludgeoned by a never-ending barrage of 60+ degree sunny days, with only a rare chilly rainy evening to break the drudgery, it was only a matter time before our neighborly bonds would begin to strain.

PHOTOS: Top, RallyP. 

Remembering Bernal’s Back Yard Motocross Track

/ Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

Bernal Heights old-timers sometimes grumble that the neighborhood used to be a more wild and wooly place, back in the day. And that may be true. But “back in the day” wasn’t really all that long ago. For example, did you know that Bernal Heights was once home to a private motocross raceway? And that this raceway was in operation as recently as 2007?!

The track was located on a loooooong, narrow yard on Alabama Street near Precita Park, and the homeowner at the time was James Sidwell. He tells Bernalwood:

I operate Superplush Suspension, a motorcycle suspension shop in Dogpatch.

I owned that house for ten years. We built a pretty good minbike track with the leftover yard space out back. Around fourth of July, I would have an annual BBQ and XR 100 race out in the yard. We cooked pork shoulder from 5am, brought in a keg of Pabst, and ran laps till dark.

There were injuries, kids playing, a good time had by all. The neighbors were great, since we mandated stock quiet exhausts and only ran all day once a year, at the party.

As proof, here’s some footage shot during the 2007 Bernal Heights 500. (Extra bonus, kids on a trampoline!) How’s that for city living?

Local Literati Will Share Their Work at Bernal Yoga, Saturday

/ Todd_Lappin

It’s a yoga studio. It’s a literary salon. It’s a yoga studio. It’s a literary salon. It’s BOTH, and it’s happening on Saturday night at Bernal Yoga:

It’s the new year, come celebrate with another terrific Bernal Yoga Literary Series event this Saturday, February 4th featuring writers Jeff Hoffman, Li Miao Lovett and Peter Orner.

Three local authors, Tom Comitta, Lara Durback and Marisela Treviño Orta, will also share their work.

As well, there will be a musical performance by Billy & Dolly.

A brief reception will follow the event.

The Bernal Yoga Studio is located on 461 Cortland Avenue (at Andover), in Bernal Heights in San Francisco (directions at www.bernalyoga.com).

The reading begins promptly at 8 p.m.

There is a $5 suggested donation to help cover expenses. Any excess is offered as a contribution to the Bernal Heights Neighborhood Center.

Look for details about  the participating writers in the poster above.

Mysterious Paint Blobs Befuddle Observant Pedestrians

/ Todd_Lappin / 18 Comments

Neighbor Leander discovered a Bernal Heights mystery recently:

My son and I walked all over south Bernal and noticed something odd: Every single storm drain has blobs of paint that look like balloons rising from the grating. The blobs are multicolored — red, blue and yellow — and most have long drips of white paint that look like balloon strings.

It was really strange. The first one, we thought someone had illegally dumped some paint down the drain. But they appear on literally every single drain we investigated.

Is it a strange art project? Some kind of construction signage, like the spray paint street hieroglyphics?

Or, another obvious possibility: Coded communications used by sewer-dwelling space aliens. Any other theories? Informed speculations?

UPDATE: Bernalwood readers are not only glamorous; they’re also wickedly well-informed. In the comments, we learn that these dots are markers used for San Francisco’s  mosquito abatement program. Wendy McNaughton created the illustrated answer:

PHOTOS: Neighbor Leander

Urban Outfitters Uses Bernal Hill for Glamorous Catalog Shoot

/ Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

OMG! Since everyone knows that everyone in Bernalwood is totally glamorous and maniacally style-obsessed, we’re quite sure everyone in Bernal Heights is eagerly awaiting the arrival of their February 2012 Urban Outfitters catalog!

When you open up your catalog, you’ll immediately notice that UO used Bernal Heights as the setting for a few of their super-chic fashion spreads:

I love how Urban Outfitters used totally typical Bernal residents as supermodels. And in terms of the clothes themselves, they completely nailed the way we actually dress here. (Sh*t Bernalites Say: “Honey, does this $54 plaid shirt coordinate well with my $85 suede moccasins?”)

Thoughfully, Urban Outfitters even included a sexxxy shot that will likely to appeal to certain Sutro Tower-loving separatists who reside in the La Lengua Autonomous Zone.

Thanks to reader Oliver for bringing this to our attention.

UPDATE: Look what arrived in Neighbor Regina’s mailbox today!

There’s also this “making of” video that shows in-progress footage of the catalog shoot. If you enjoy seeing models get paid to look blasé and very bored, you’ll LOVE this. The Bernal footage kicks in at around 0:26…

Bernalwood Writer Discovers Secret to Better Marriage

/ Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

Here’s a star sighting of sorts: Bernalwood contributor Elizabeth Weil wrote a piece for the Modern Love column in last Sunday’s New York Times. In it she explains her awkward quest to, as she puts it, “make my good marriage better.”

So what’s the secret? Here’s how Elizabeth describes her formula for marital improvement:

The lesson finally sank in. The key to a better marriage, for us, was not to hew closer to the general, to try to grind away the quirks or to more faithfully try to emulate the early-21st century marriage ideal. The key was to embrace, not blunt, the specifics — specifics that in the end we couldn’t blunt anyway. Despite all of our trying, Dan and I had not ground smooth our individual flaws. Yet our marriage still seemed better, changed. Maybe through our striving we had become more generous.

Elizabeth has more wisdom to impart in her forthcoming book: “No Cheating, No Dying: I Had a Good Marriage. Then I Tried To Make It Better.”

Sh*t Bernalites Say

/ Todd_Lappin / 23 Comments

Michael Costuros and Kim Iglinsky at the Liberty Cafe in Bernal Heights

Sorry, no video. It’s just a list. But we want to cash in on this whole “Shit BlahBlahBlah Says” meme before it goes supernova and collapses in on itself.  So without further excuses, here is “Shit Bernalites Say,” collected from submissions Bernalwood received via Twitter.

  • “I miss the OLD Moki’s”
  • “St. Mary’s? is that Bernal?”
  • “I’m straight, but I love Wild Side”
  • “Dinner in The Mission? Ugh, that’s too far.”
  • “South slope or north?”
  • “I harvested these blackberries and rosemary from the Hill”
  • “We only buy our children gender-neutral toys.”
  • “Have you seen the coyote?”
  • “We love Bernal Heights, but now that I’m pregnant again, we’re thinking of moving to Orinda.”
  • “The teachers seemed nice, but we’re looking for a preschool that focuses more on Krystyn’s EMOTIONAL needs.”
  • “Was this beef grass-fed?”
  • “I knew her when she was a he.”
  • “Have you seen the bikini jogger?”
  • “I only use mason jars now. *Everything* else has BPA.”
  • “I was vegan until I got pregnant with Jaymee.”
  • “That’s Tom. You know him; he’s Muffin’s owner…”
  • “I really miss the owls.”
  • “YOUR CAR IS BLOCKING MY DRIVEWAY”
  • “Sandbox is the new Tartine.”
  • “Someone stole my succulents!”
  • “They call it maternal heights now!”
  • “We hit it off really well, but unfortunately our dogs weren’t compatible…”
  • “I feel kinda bad saying this, but I sometimes I just don’t know what to *do* with all of the stuff in my CSA box.”
  • “Why can’t I get a burger on Cortland at night?!?!”
BONUS! Shit Mission Hipsters Say About Shit Bernalites Say:
  • “I can’t wait to revive a played out meme!”

Have more suggestions? Add ’em to the comments!

PHOTO: Patrons at the Liberty Cafe, by Thomas Hawk

Sunday Night’s Sunset, in Bernal Hill Surround-O-Vision

/ Todd_Lappin / 2 Comments

Bernalwood Sunset

I happened to be traveling from Cortlandia to the Precitaville Administrative Zone on Sunday evening just as the sun was settling down for the night. The sky was exploding with oranges and pinks, so I took a few iPhonecam pics (with a boost from the awesome TrueHDR app) as I headed around Bernal Hill.

I started with the view to the southwest, in the photo above. This was what I saw as I headed east down Bernal Heights Boulevard:

Bernalwood Sunset

Bernalwood Sunset

Bernalwood Sunset

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Star Sighting: Tom Ammiano at the Good Life Meat Counter

/ Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

High-profile Democratic politicians? They’re just like us!

Bernalwood had a celebrity encounter with our very own Man in Sacramento last weekend, and here’s our full report:

Who: State Assemblyman Tom Ammiano
Where: Meat counter, Good Life Grocery, Bernal Heights
What He Bought: About 2 lbs. of steak. Good Life staff hinted that it was filet mignon.
What He Was Wearing: A sporty brown leather jacket. Looked Italian-made.
How He Looked: Glam. Slightly Hollwood. Tanned, rested, and out on the town. Is it just us, or is Tom Ammiano beginning to resemble the circa 1994 Tony Bennett?

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

Precita Neighbors Gather to Remember Stephen

/ Todd_Lappin / 11 Comments

On Sunday morning, a group of Bernal Heights neighbors gathered to participate in a memorial service for Stephen, the gracious resident of Precita Park who died on January 20.

It was a simple but warm affair. There were some cookies, and some coffee, and a modest shrine set up on the table where Stephen often passed the days. There were grey-haired old-timers on hand, along with families with kids, dogs with their owners, and a few Precita Park merchants. I overheard one young attendee say, “When my mother came to visit, I took her to meet him.”

Stephen died of complications from alcoholism, but he made a strong impression during the many years he spent living in the park. He’d apparently lost track of his real family, but he’d adopted the people of the neighborhood as surrogates. “Over and over I’d ask him, ‘Why don’t you get a room somewhere?'” one neighbor recalled. “Every time he’d say the same thing: ‘It’s the people. I look out for them, and they look out for me.”

One man said, “some people may have had a problem with his being here, but his presence made this a safer and more family-friendly place.”

Then someone pulled out a guitar, and everyone sang “Knocking on Heaven’s Door.”

Stephen is also remembered via an eerily modern memorial: During a late stage of Stephen’s illness, while he was confined to a wheelchair, the Google Maps car apparently drove up Folsom Street on a sunny and pleasant day. As the car passed the intersection with Bessie Street, its cameras captured Stephen resting in the sun, in the very spot where his many friends and neighbors would gather to remember and appreciate him months later, after he was gone: