St. Mary’s Park in Sunday’s New York Times

December 12, 2011December 12, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 11 Comments

In case you missed it, there was a spiffy little overview article in yesterday’s print edition of the New York Times about St. Mary’s Park, the cute micro-‘hood in the southwest corner of Bernal Heights.

A sampler:

OLD SCHOOL
St. Mary’s College of California opened here in 1863, offering Catholic-based education far from downtown San Francisco temptations. In 1889, fog and wind prompted its relocation to Oakland, and in 1928 a move farther east took the college to its current home in Moraga.

LEAVING A MARK
After the college left San Francisco, some of the land it had been on was farmed. In the 1920s, the city’s Roman Catholic archdiocese subdivided and sold some of the property. Mark Daniels, an architect, planned the subdivision’s trademark shape, a nod to an original college church bell. Mr. Daniels’s influence can also be seen in many other local neighborhoods, like St. Francis Wood, Sea Cliff and Forest Hill.

HANGING THEIR HATS
Many of the red-tiled-roof homes in St. Mary’s Park are occupied by grown children of the first owners, and several centenarians are in residence. The original Irish and Italian community has diversified: Latinos and African-Americans have moved in. Newer residents include a lesbian rabbi.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

… In Which I Am Revealed to Be Only Marginally Prepared for a Very Big Earthquake

December 7, 2011December 6, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 10 Comments

A few months ago, I volunteered myself, my daughter, and my home to serve as on-camera crash-test dummies for a series of earthquake-preparedness videos produced by Totally Unprepared, a public-awareness organization which describes itself as…

… what happens when you put forward-thinking state agencies, earthquake geeks, social media nerds, a web analytics genius, a professional filmmaker, a hot firefighter or two, and a bunch of unsuspecting Californians in a blender and hit frappe.

During their visit to our home, Totally Unprepared pretty much put us through a blender and hit frappe. But that’s what we’d signed up for, to foster better earthquake preparedness in California — and the Dominion of Bernalwood.

The videos have been now released as a series of installments optimized for Web-length attention spans, and they feature both me and Bernalwood’s brave Cub Reporter. In the first episode, our home is given a thorough inspection, and we are subjected to a somewhat terrifying jostle in an earthquake simulator — which the Cub Reporter endured with true native-Californian aplomb:

In the second installment, we hone our duck-and-cover technique in various awkward and uncomfortable places throughout our home:

The third episode reveals (somewhat embarrassingly) that I had neglected to properly secure the bookcase that sits next to the Cub Reporter’s cute little Hello Kitty bed. DOH!

Thus, with my humiliation complete, I now encourage you to find out more about how to prepare for the Big One.

ABC7 News Team Makes Bernal Heights Sinkhole Disappear

November 9, 2011November 8, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 1 Comment

Dan Noyes is the Chief Investigative Reporter at ABC7News, and he’s probably feeling pretty good about himself right now. That’s because he decided to unleash his investigative kung-fu on a nasty Bernal Heights sinkhole, and he made it go away.

No, we’re not talking about that expanding sinkhole on Ellert that has recently been under repair. This is a different one: There was another sinkhole on Holladay and Costa, and it was making the neighbors on the east side of Bernal rather unhappy. Luckily, the ABC7News uFixIt crew swooped in to embrace the cause:

We have the story of a sink hole that’s been sinking for years and people in the neighborhood are fed up with the inaction over getting it repaired, but when the ABC7News I-Team showed up things got rolling.

People who live near the sink hole tell us the ongoing patch job is a quick fix that’s not safe and it’s a waste of tax dollars. They wanted the sink hole in San Francisco’s Bernal Heights fixed the right way, once and for all, so they contacted uFixIt for help.

Voila!

In other news, a baby was born in Bernal Heights, and ABC7News UFixIt Team made it happen. Elsewhere, Little Timmy on Tompkins Avenue used to walk only with the aid of leg braces, but thanks to the ABC7News UFixIt Team, Timmy just finished in the top 10 during last weekend’s New York City Marathon. And when the sun rose this morning, bringing light where formerly there was only darkness, did you think that was just a coincidence? Ha! As if! Please send your cards and thank-you notes to the ABC7News UFixIt Team.

Reporting live from Bernal Heights, this is Bernalwood Action News.

Video from Leonard Flynn Elementary School Wins $15,000 Top Prize

September 27, 2011September 26, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 6 Comments

Here’s some amazing news: Remember that video we posted from Leonard R. Flynn Elementary School?

Local Bernal elementary school, Leonard R. Flynn Elementary School (just off Precita Park) is a finalist in the Coupon Cabin’s arts grant contest.

Our YouTube video has garnered almost 1,000 views and could use a boost from Bernal neighbors. Views, “likes,” and comments are 25% of the judging for the $5k, $10k, or $15k award to be used for art and music programming at this local gem of an elementary school.

We have until September 18 to rally around the video and win the award for our programs.

Well, hot damn, Leonard Flynn School up and WON top prize in the competition! Reader Teresa sent an update today:

Just wanted to let you know that thanks to Bernalwood (among others) Leonard R. Flynn Elementary School won the grand prize grant! The full $15,000 bucks in the Coupon Cabin arts grant contest!

Bernal will benefit greatly from these funds as it goes directly to helping our kids’ education in the arts.

Spectacular. Nicely done, people. Nicely done. Goooooo BERNAL!

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: Telstar Logistics

Two Videos and New Book Explore the Artistry of Avedano’s

September 22, 2011September 22, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 2 Comments

Woa. Check out this gorgeous mini-documentary about the Avedano’s butcher shop on Cortland, created by Tribute SF:

Started by three friends, Avedano’s butcher shop pursues the purest forms of butchery while providing the Bernal Heights neighborhood with sustainably raised meat and fish.

It is easy to be inspired and educated by the cleaver-wielding bunch behind the counter. Avedano’s is a place of business where craftsmen (and women) are “perserving the art of butchery.”

But wait, that’s not all! Avedano’s also features prominently in The Cook & The Butcher, a new book by Brigit Binns:

In this innovative look at a favorite subject, author Brigit Binns draws on tips and tricks learned from renowned butchers and expert steak-house chefs to show you the best—and most delicious—ways to cook beef, pork, lamb, and veal at home. Meat is the star in this collection of over 100 modern recipes, which use fresh, seasonal ingredients and a wide range of cooking methods—stir-frying, sautÉing, panfrying, grilling, roasting, braising, smoking—to create irresistible dishes. Binns introduces us to such flavor-boosting cooking practices as residual-heat roasting, which slowly cooks large cuts to perfection in the lingering heat of a turned-off oven; double-searing steaks and chops on both ends of a long resting period to develop a tempting crust and melt-in-your-mouth texture; and seasoning meat before and during cooking.

But wait, that’s not all! There’s also a promo video for The Cook & The Butcher that just happened to be filmed at… Avedano’s:

Did Apple Goons Impersonate SFPD Officers to Search Bernal Heights Home?

September 2, 2011September 3, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 5 Comments

The story about the missing Apple iPhone 5 that was last traced to Bernal Heights has become national news, and with the increased scrutiny, the tale has gone from cute to bizarre.

The latest news, astutely reported by SF Weekly, is that Apple investigators may have represented themselves as SFPD when they searched the home of a Bernal Heights resident. SF Weekly has identified the resident as “Sergio Calderón, 22, of Bernal Heights.”

Let’s let SF Weekly explain:

A Bernal Heights man says that six officials claiming to be San Francisco Police officers questioned him and searched his family’s home in July for a lost iPhone 5 prototype they asserted had been traced to the residence using GPS technology.

The man’s statements to SF Weekly in an exclusive interview add significant new twists to the unfolding story of the unreleased iPhone 5 that was reportedly lost at a San Francisco bar this summer.

If accurate, his account raises the possibility that Apple security personnel attempting to recover the prototype falsely represented themselves as police officers — a criminal act punishable by up to a year in jail in the state of California — or that SFPD employees colluding with Apple failed to properly report an extensive search of a person’s home, car, and computer.

“This is something that’s going to need to be investigated now,” SFPD spokesman Lt. Troy Dangerfield said, when informed about the Bernal Heights man’s statements to SF Weekly. “If this guy is saying that the people said they were SFPD, that’s a big deal.”

SF Weekly has lots more lurid detail on the search of Calderón’s home and the threats that were allegedy made against him, and at least one of the men who conducted the search has since been revealed as “a former San Jose Police sergeant… employed as a ‘senior investigator’ at Apple. ”

Oh my. Read the whole thing. Or is the whole the entire incident a hoax?

UPDATE: Another twist, another turn. Turns out SFPD was involved, but Neighbor Calderón did not know that the people who searched his home were Apple employees. SFWeekly rocks it (again):

The bizarre saga involving a lost prototype of the iPhone 5 has taken another interesting turn. Contradicting past statements that no records exist of police involvement in the search for the lost prototype, San Francisco Police Department spokesman Lt. Troy Dangerfield now tells SF Weekly that “three or four” SFPD officers accompanied two Apple security officials in an unusual search of a Bernal Heights man’s home.

Dangerfield says that, after conferring with Apple and the captain of the Ingleside police station, he has learned that plainclothes SFPD officers went with private Apple detectives to the home of Sergio Calderón, a 22-year-old resident of Bernal Heights. According to Dangerfield, the officers “did not go inside the house,” but stood outside while the Apple employees scoured Calderón’s home, car, and computer files for any trace of the lost iPhone 5. The phone was not found, and Calderón denies that he ever possessed it.

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Invades La Lengua

September 2, 2011September 2, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

The Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema moved to Tiffany Street last night, deep in the heartland of La Lengua. That BHOC chose to hold an event in La Lengua should come as no surprise; as an official cultural arm of the Dominion of Bernalwood, it is Bernal’s sovereign right to recolonize the territory by staging such events at the time and place of our choosing.

What seemed odd, however, was the decision by Burrito Justice, the leader of the La Lenguan separatists, to serve as MC for the event. Picture John Adams leading the Continental Congress in a rousing chorus of “Happy Birthday, King George III” in 1776, and perhaps you can see what I mean. Most curious.

Happily, the assembled crowd seemed blissfully indifferent to such geo-political nuances. Indeed, Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema attracted a robust cross-section of neighborhood glitterati, and between sips of Don Perignon and nibbles of caviar, there was much blowing of air kisses and overheard conversation about overseas tax shelters and recently concluded vacations in Monaco.

As for the films, they were good clean fun. I had to leave at the intermission, alas, but among the ones I saw, I quite smitten by Kathy Kensinger’s “Cooking with Grandma,” a very well-produced short about making blackberry jam. (Watch it here) We also saw “Remotely Controlling,” by Zachary Zivnuska:

The Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Festival continues tonight on Cortland Street, with continuous film screenings from 7 to 9 pm, and a kiss-kiss after party happening at the Lucky Horseshoe. On Saturday, the festival moves to Precita Park. Hope to see you there, dah-link.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Lights, Camera, Action! The 2011 Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Festival Begins

August 30, 2011August 30, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 1 Comment

In Park City, they have Sundance. In Colorado, there’s Telluride. And here in San Francisco’s finest rustic mountain village, we have our own celebration of homegrown cinema: The Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Festival.

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema offers free screenings of Bernal Heights and local filmmakers’ works in neighborhood parks and open spaces to increase the exposure and recognition of local artists, to heighten appreciation by neighborhood and citywide residents and to bring community together for the enjoyment of our parks and neighborhood resources.

There are a few differences, of course. Those other festivals show their films in, you know, theaters. We show ours outside. They are overrun with paparazzi and creepy Hollywood types; Our festival is dog-friendly and BYOB. Sundance takes place in January, and Teluride kicks off early September. And wouldn’t you know it… Bernalwood’s festival happens in early September too. Which means it’s that time of year, right now.

So pack a blanket, don your most cutting-edge polar fleece, and get ready to enjoy our very own glamorously unglamorous film event. The festival kicks off with a star-studded opening night gala tomorrow night, Aug. 31, at the world-famous New Old Clam House on Bayshore, before moving on to other sites around the neighborhood on subsequent cinema-packed evenings.

Heeeeeeere’s you complete 2011 Bernal Heights Outdoor Film Festival schedule:

Wednesday, August 31 – Sunday, September 4

5 FREE Nights / 5 Bernal Sites

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS

Download the 2011 Film Lineup

Wednesday 8/31 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Opening Night at The Old Clam House
299 Bayshore Boulevard
Reception, Films & Music
Benefit for Bernal History Project. Suggested donation at the door of $15 includes two (2) drink tickets

6:30–7:30 pm Music & Reception
Mister Odom and the Odom Poles
7:30–8:00 pm Awards Presentation
8:00–9:00 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Thursday 9/1 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Block Party on Tiffany Avenue
between 29th & Duncan Streets
in partnership with Mobile Arts Platform
Outdoor Films, Music & Fun

6:30–7:30 pm Live Music & Activities
The Patsy Chords
Make Your Own Film
Plant a Seed
7:30–9:30 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Friday 9/2 — 5:00–10:00 pm
Film Crawl on Cortland Avenue
between Bennington & Anderson Streets
Music, Lounge, Films & After Party

6:00–8:00 pm Red Hill Books —Headquarters & Lounge
401 Cortland
Michael Groh and Ted Savarese
7:00, 8:00 & 9:00 pm Film Screenings
Simultaneous presentations at 7 sites. Screening times at some sites are limited. Check the venue film listing for times.

– Progressive Grounds — 400 Cortland
– Four Star Video — 402 Cortland
– Kingmond Young Studio — 416 Cortland
– Bernal Yoga — 461 Cortland
– Bernal Branch Library — 500 Cortland
– Bernal Heights Neighborhood Center —
515 Cortland
– Inclusions Gallery — 627 Cortland

– After Party at The Lucky Horseshoe —
453 Cortland (21 years and over venue)

_____________________________________

Saturday 9/3 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Under the Stars at Precita Park
Folsom Street at Precita Avenue
Meet-the-Fillmmakers, Music & Films

6:30–7:30 pm Live Music & Reception
Classic Rain featuring Karen Huggins
7:30–9:30 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Sunday 9/4 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Closing Night at El Rio
3158 Mission Street — 21 years and over venue
Meet-the-Fillmmakers & Films
Suggested donation at the door of $10 includes
two (2) food tickets
No-host bar; No cover

6:30–7:30 pm Filmmakers Reception
7:30–9:30 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Free admission. Seating at all screenings is on a first-come, first-served basis. Attendees are encouraged to bring blankets and low-back beach chairs for outdoor venues. Each site is easily accessible to neighbors and citywide residents on foot or directly by BART 24th Street and SF Muni bus lines #12, #14, #24, #49 and #67.

PHOTOS: From top, slowpoke_taiwan, Guillaume Lebleu, and Telstar Logistics

Bernalwood Editor Writes Article for Some Newspaper in New York; Encourages You to Report for Bernalwood

August 25, 2011August 25, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 9 Comments

I have an article in today’s New York Times about iPhone photography as an emerging art form. The article focuses on Mission-dweller Doctor Popular, who has established himself as an innovator in the medium.

ALSO, this is probably a good time to remind all our readers that if you have an iPhone, Android, or Blackberry smartphone, you have all the tools you need to become an ace reporter for Bernalwood. As my article demonstrates, that device in your pocket is a powerful photography insutrment, so please use it whenever you see *anything* fun, interesting, or important in the neighborhood. Capture the moment, then send it to us at the address shown on your screen: bernalwood *at* gmail *dot* com.

Reader Amy did it when she found that spooky pentagram on Bernal Hill. Another Tipster did it when he photographed that loose-screw guy defacing the mural at Emmy’s. And Reader X did it when he snapped that succulent thief making off with the goods.

You can do it too. And if you feel like making your photos a little more artsy-fartsy, my article may help. But if not, that’s fine too. Just send us your photos with a brief description of whatever you see, please!

Our email address again:

PHOTO: Top, iPhone photo by Telstar Logistics (aka Todd Lappin)

Creepy Pentagram Triggers Mirth, Media Frenzy, and Tales of Animal Sacrifice (Pretty Much in That Order)

August 22, 2011August 22, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 9 Comments

After Bernalwood (ahem!) broke the story last week about a creepy pentagram found on Bernal Hill that was still dripping with unholy ritualistic ooze, a rather predictable media frenzy ensued. The SFWeekly picked up on the story, suggesting it may have something to do with practices associated with the Santeria religion (although, apparently, Santarians aren’t into pentagrams). Then KTVU sent over a talking head to do a video segment on the incident, spicing it up with tales of animal sacrifice and concerns about pet safety:

Those who first spotted it Wednesday morning told KTVU they came across something even more eerie than just the painted symbol.

“A cross with pure blood there and black candles at each of the ends of the cross,” said Beatrice, a Bernal Heights resident. “And there was a bird, it was dead and full of blood too.”

Two longtime dog walkers told KTVU they believe the park has long been a site for animal sacrifice with cat and chicken parts occasionally dug up by dogs.

“They find goat heads and birds, mostly birds and rabbits and things like that,” said Michael Murphy, a dog walker. “The dogs dig them up because they bury them, they wrap them up in cloths or whatever.”

Murphy said he’s even found the severed heads of squirrels and pigeons left hanging in trees.

San Francisco Recreation and Parks officials said they were shocked to hear about the pentagram and said it’s unclear whether this has occurred before.

Dog walkers said the unusual activities at the park, high above the city, puts other animals at risk.

KTVU won’t let us embed their video, but you can watch it here.

Absent any more tangible facts, however, it’s only a matter of time until someone claims they have been turned into a newt. In the meantime, you can rest easy, because Park and Rec has covered over the pentagram with a thick coat of Satan-sealant paint:

And Reader Jay wonders:

Did their summoning ritual succeed? Does some cloven-foot demon now stalk Bernalwood? Will he dress in vintage clothing? Be spotted at a garage sale? Feast on the denizens of La Lengua before returning to Hades?

Of course, when that happens, we’ll send over our own satellite truck to investigate.

“Reporting live from Bernal Heights, this is Bernalwood Action News!”

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Listen to Tia Harrison from Avedano’s on KQED’s Forum

August 10, 2011August 10, 2011 / Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

More media coverage for another one of our Bernalwood celebrities: Tia Harrison from Avedano’s Meat Market on Cortland was a guest on KQED’s Forum radio program this morning, talking about “Sustainable Meat and the Art of Butchery.” If you missed it, you can listen to the program right now via our spiffy little audio player:

PHOTO: Tia Harrison of Avedanos, by Claudine