Lost Parakeet Alert!!


Neighbor Paige is asking her North Bernal neighbors to be on the lookout for her lost parakeet:

Hi Bernalwood.  I’m your neighbor on  Precita, and my parakeet, Gertie, escaped. I’d appreciate it if you could post my lost bird flier.

Awww. If you see Gertie, please call Neighbor Paige at the number shown on your screen:


Bernal Neighbor Seeks Samaritans Who Helped After Bad Fall


Neighbor Cecilia lives on Putnam, and she’s searching for the helpful souls who helped her after a very bad fall while crossing a very busy Bernal street:

I had a bad injury just over a week ago and it could have been much worse if a man and a woman hadn’t come to my rescue.

On Aug 29, coming back from my commute, I was crossing Mission at Virginia – coming from the Safeway parking lot – at about 5:30 pm to go get my car on Coleridge when I tripped on a small lip of the pavement. My husband later photographed it; it is an old crack going lengthwise on Mission.

I could not catch myself quickly enough with an extra step, and so I fell flat like pancake. I laid flat, belly down, my arms open, on the pavement, in deep pain, scared, my glasses broken, for what seemed quite a while. Meanwhile the light must have turned red against me and surely the drivers on Mission were eager to move on.

A man and a woman knelt down near me and gently helped me up. She put my car keys back in my jacket pocket and he walked me to La Altena taqueria to get me a cup of water, while I sat on the window ledge outside.

I later spent the whole night at the ER where I was diagnosed with fractures at my shoulder and at my knee. I am home-bound now, feeling every day a bit better, thank god. I am an active person and I do yoga, so I trust I will heal fast.

Now I would like to find and thank my rescuers personally. I don’t know what I would have done without them. I am hoping this message will reach them.

Thank you, Good Samaritans! If you would like to come forward, contact us at bernalwood @ gmail, and we will gladly connect you with one very grateful Neighbor Cecilia.

Lost and Found: The Curious Tale of the Randy Rooster Captured Yesterday Near Precita Park



Neighbor Jeremy tells the tale of the rooster that showed up outside his home near Precita Park yesterday, how he (valiantly) captured said rooster, and how you can claim the creature if he was yours:

On Sunday I overheard the murmur of a crowd of onlookers gathering outside my house. I caught snippets such as “Wow, look! It’s a rooster”, and “How did that rooster get there?”. After what sounded like an entire class field trip stopped by to gawk, goaded by a parental “Hey look kids! A rooster!  I figured I should go out and see it for myself.

When I opened my front door, however, I wasn’t prepared for A Full-On, Actual Rooster, standing on my doorstep. I closed the door and shouted for my girlfriend:



“There’s a rooster on the doorstep!”

The SF’s Animal Control dispatcher that I reached on the phone said, “We’ve only got two officers on duty today and we’re overbooked. By the time we get someone out there, he’ll probably be long gone.”

I had opened the door. The rooster was now staring back at me, intently.

“Is there any way you can keep him there?”, the dispatcher continued.

Note closely that the dispatcher hadn’t ask me to “catch” the rooster; that was just Strongly Implied. I knew this routine. My previous encounters with Animal Control have taught me that they don’t want to incur liability should a caller get injured handling an animal themselves.

“Uh, sure. I’ll try,” I replied.

“Thanks. Call back and let us know what happens. There have been two roosters in your area causing havok. We caught one of them; this sounds like his ‘brother’.”

I’m not rooster wrangler, so what I could I possibly do? Flashbacks of the vivid cockfighting scenes in Alex Haley’s “Roots” raced through my mind as we tenatively approached him with a bathroom towel. Would this end with a chalk outline of my body sprawled down the stairway? Would I end up a line item in the world “Fatality By Chicken” index?

The towel finally startled him and with a squawk he took the air and “flew”, in so much as chickens do, over to the neighbor’s stairway, landing with a muffled thunk against the railing.

By now I had attracted the attention of a neighbor. “Is that your rooster?” she asked.

She told me how she had just arrived home and found her porch a mess of bird droppings and scratch marks. “We though maybe a dog had chased a pigeon into our yard. We’ve been gone over the weekend. He must have been there the whole time.”

“Nope, I have no idea where he’s from,” I said. “Actually,” I paused, “I think he’s one of the mystery roosters that I hear crowing from the yards of one of my backyward neighbors. I’ve never been able to tell from exactly where, though.”

I called Animal Control to let them know that, alas, the rooster got away (and was no longer My Problem). I wished them the Best Of Luck.

“Ok, well, we’ll send someone out. Maybe he’ll still hang around, but I
doubt it,” said the dispatcher.

After hanging up I looked back to the bottom of my neighbor’s stairway and the rooster wasn’t there. Instead, he had walked up the stairs and nestled himself in a nook formed by the elongated railing.

“Do I really want to be a hero today?” I murmured to myself.

Catching a chicken is hard in an open space, but now there was a rare opportunity since he’d walled himself in on three sides. I sighed, picked up the towel, and walked up my neighbor’s staircase.

Cautiously, I approached with the towel fully stretched between my arms. I knew vaguely that I should try to hide my face lest he be startled the gaze of my primate, binocular, predator eyes. Peeking over the towel every now and then, however, I anthropomorphized a look of calm perplexity on his face.

Finally, I had stepped up all the way and covered the nook with the towel. He was trapped, but strangely to me, he was not alarmed. Are roosters really that dumb?

The first neighbor was back.

“You’ve got him?” She asked.

“Well, I’ve got him trapped,” I said.

“Just get the towel over his head and grab him over the wings.”, she offered, helpfully. “They calm down when you get them like that.”

I learned that she herself kept chickens in her backyard. “I hope he doesn’t get in with them,” she added.

Sure enough, using the extra courage afforded to me by the pair of gloves and protective eyewear that she ran back and got for me, I had the bird in my hands. I could not believe it.

“Genius,” said someone behind me. It was the neighbor who owned the stairway, who had opened her door during the time I had first gotten him trapped.

I placed the rooster bundle into a cat carrier and called Animal Control triumphantly.

“Randy,” as I will call him, is now at the shelter at 15th and Harrison streets. He will be held there for 5 days, at which point, I am happy to learn, he will be given to an animal rescue organization if unclaimed.

Please post his pictures so that he might be rescued.

PHOTOS: Neighbor Jeremy Cooper

Wayward Poultry Alert: Lost Chicken Found Crossing Road


Neighbor Sheila found this chicken last night on Bernal Hill:

Last evening, while on an evening walk, we found a beautiful black lost chicken on Bernal Hill.

She/he was crossing the proverbial street, when we found it. Cars were not paying attention, so we went back to bring the chicken to safety and now have it at my house on Folsom.

Please post the picture of this lost chicken, so that we might find its owner. Thank you.

If you are the keeper of this wayward chicken, please contact the Bernalwood Lost Chicken Hotline at bernalwood AT gmailDOTCOM.

Did You Lose These Keys Your Neighbor Found on Bernal Hill?


Neighbor Lynn found a set of keys on Bernal Hill:

I found these keys up on Bernal hill on May 1st – located sort of near the saddle area on the south-ish side of the hill. Looks like there is a key for a bike lock but no other automobile keys.

Are they yours? Can you identify what it says on the keychain thingy obscured in the photo? Contact us at bernalwood *at* gmail to reclaim.

Found: Are You Missing Your Parakeet?


Neighbor Sara found this parakeet, and if it’s yours, she’d like you to have it:

I found this cute and cold parakeet this morning on Winfield near Esmeralda street. If you know someone who is missing it,  please have them contact me. It is safe and warm inside now, albeit in a bucket. Unfortunately, I am not equipped with a bird cage. Little yellow cheeks with blue dots on top.

Please contact the Bernalwood Small Bird Recovery Hotline (bernalwood@gmail) if you would like to claim the creature.

Lost and Found: Did You Lose a Big Wad of Cash Yesterday?


Say, did you happen to misplace some cash in Bernal Heights yesterday? Because a very kind Bernal neighbor found a big chunk of money that she wants to return to its owner:

I found some money near a playground in Bernal. It’s a considerable sum, and it would be great to find the rightful owner. Based on the way it was folded, it looks like it may have fallen out of someone’s pocket. I do want it to go to the rightful owner, so anyone interested in claiming it would need to name the playground it was near, the approximate amount, and the time it could have been lost by the playground.

There you have it. If you think this money may have been yours, email bernalwood AT gmail DOTCOM and describe where you think you lost it, how much money you lost, and when you think you lost it.

Bernalwood will forward all responses to the good samaritan who seeks to return it.

PHOTO: Freshly printed bills by Yakpimp on Flickr

Rescuers Search for Downed Helicopter on Bernal Hill


Neighbor Matthew saw this sign yesterday indicating that a small helicopter was recently lost on the northeast side of Bernal Hill along the north face of Bernal Heights Boulevard. The owners would be thrilled to get it back.

Meanwhile, the National Transportation Safety Board has decided not to send a team of investigators to Bernal Heights. Nevertheless, KTVU is working to confirm a report that the pilot’s name was Havyuseen Maheli.

PHOTO: Neighbor Matthew

How to Help This Man Repatriate the Bernal Heights Marmot


This is Duane.

He’s here to catch a marmot.

This is a marmot:


Yes, the elusive marmot that has taken refuge in Bernal Heights remains at large in the area around Bocana and Ellert Streets.

But Duane works with Wildlife Emergency Services, and he’s very confident the decontextualized rodent will be safely captured. Soon. And then, after the marmot has been brought under control, Duane will gently return the cute animal to its native biome in the High Sierras.

Here’s KTVU’s latest Action (action… action…) News (news… news…) summary of the situation:

The rodent, which is a member of the squirrel family, isn’t a city dweller, and experts want to get the little creature back home to the Sierra Nevada.

Experts set three traps Thursday afternoon, each baited with something different.

“We’ve tried a few things,” said Duane Titus, of Wildlife Emergency Services. “We’ve tried a little spinach. There’s some mixed nuts. There’s a little bit of apple pie. They’re omnivorous, so I have no idea which one will work, but it will be interesting to find out.”

(We might have suggested one of those yummy waffles from the new Suite Foods kiosk in 331 Cortland… because no omnivorous creature could possibly resist that.)

Anyway, Duane is requesting assistance from the Citizens of Bernalwood to help him figure out where exactly the marmot came from, so he/she can be returned to the very same place. “To its family,” as Duane told Bernalwood.

Based on various bits of evidence — namely, neighborhood sighting reports and marmot guano piles — Duane estimates the marmot arrived in Bernal Heights sometime around June 20. He also suspects the marmot’s home was somewhere around the 6500-foot mark in the Sierras.

So, If you live in Bernal, and you recently returned from a trip to the High Sierras; or, if you received a delivery from a vehicle that may have come from the High Sierras, Duane would like to hear from you, in case the marmot hitched a ride under the hood of your vehicle, as they are apparently wont to do.

Here’s how to help: If you  returned to Bernal Heights from the mountains not long ago, please call Wildlife Emergency Services at (866) 945-3911. They’re eager to speak with you.

All that said, Bernalwood suspects that the marmot is no longer in Bernal Heights. Indeed, Bernalwood’s sources tell us the elusive marmot is actually holed up in the transit zone of the Moscow Airport, where it has been seen in the company of international fugitive Edward Snowden, while nibbling on apple pie.

You heard it here first.

UPDATE: The Bernal Marmot tweets!!!!

PHOTO: Top, Telstar Logistics. Marmot via Wikipedia

Lost and Found: Did You Drop These Stylish Red Glasses on Virginia Ave?


Neighbor Doug found these glasses on Virginia Ave, and he would like to repatriate them to their rightful owner:

I am a neighborhoody on Virginia Ave and a big fan of the blog. I wanted to write a quick note. It appears someone dropped/lost some prescription eyeglasses in front of our place at Virginia & Winfield [Sunday] afternoon.

Those are the glasses, above. If these are yours, email the Bernalwood Lost and Found Hotline at bernalwood *at* gmail dotcom, and we will introduce you to Neighbor Doug.

Did You Lose These Keys on Wool Street?


Neighbor Tara found a feral set of keys on Wool Street:

My partner and I found some keys outside of our place on Wool St. Obviously, it’s kind of a delicate thing handing over keys to people, but I thought maybe you can post about them if appropriate? They have two letters (initials?) on the tag of the keys, and several keys on the keychain. Maybe if people can tell me what letters on on the tag, I can give them to them.

If these are your keys, and you know the mystery letters, contact the Bernalwood Key Recovery Hotline at bernalwood at gmail dot com.