I’ve long been a fan of EaterSF’s “38 Essential San Francisco Restaurants List,” because it’s updated regularly, it’s well chosen, and it’s pleasantly free of pretension or fuss.

The latest installment of the Eater 38, published just yesterday, contained a special surprise: Bernal’s own Ichi Sushi was just added to the list “for serving some of the best sushi in town, in a very uniquely San Francisco way.”

Here’s the blurbage:

ICHI SUSHI Although San Francisco isn’t a sushi town, per se, even the snobbiest raw fish fans adore Ichi, serving inventive, pristine sashimi, specialty rolls and more—all of it made with a very San Francisco, sustainable, seasonal focus.

As you may recall, Ichi also scored some mad props from Zagat recently, so this is just another feather to add to their samurai helmets.  Also, it seems that Ichi’s glamorous expansion plan can’t happen a moment too soon.  Big congrats to Chef Tim and Erin Archuleta, and everyone on Team Ichi. We knew you when…

IMAGES: Map, EaterSF. Photo, Tim Archuleta, by John Storey via SFGate

To live in Bernal Heights is to know that we take the Art of Living rather seriously here. We appreciate great food and the finer things in life, but we generally prefer it served without additional helpings of fuss or pretension. Our neighborhood is sometimes written off by snooty food critics as a result, but Bernal’s culinary charms are not lost on the more earthy ones.

Case in point: last week The Bold Italic published a story entitled “Screw the Foodies,” which showcased some of the more beguiling eateries around the City where one can get a good meal “without all the fancy pants frenzy.”

Amid an explosion of F-bombs and orifice-inspired indignation, writer Sara Faith Alterman explains:

I love to eat, and to eat adventurously, but I get tired of the pomp and culinary circumstance that often seasons the San Francisco dining experience. Fuck. I get tired of the phrase “dining experience.” I can’t tell if it’s because I’m annoyed by complicated menus, or because of the surgical scrutiny to which people subject them. I once overheard five 20-somethings grill a server endlessly about the levels of sulfides in the organic Grenache. They ordered a single glass to split among them, and ended up sending it back because one dude didn’t like the way it brought out the ashiness of the cheese that topped his gluten-free flatbread.

I resisted the urge to stab each of these assholes in the clavicle with my salad fork. Barely.

But the whole situation reminded me just how much I relish an easy meal. Dining off the eaten path at a low-fuss restaurant is, for me, far more satisfying than scrambling for a table at Gastropub Du Jour or scratching my head at the complicated components in trendily deconstructed cuisine. Sure, that stuff’s fun sometimes, but give me one of these “screw the foodies” spots anytime.

That’s the set-up, but here’s the interesting thing: Of the six restaurants on Sara Faith Alterman’s list, four are in the Dominion of Bernalwood:

1. Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack (“The hand-drawn menu… is simple and satisfying. It changes every season but always includes that good ole go-to trio of crisp Caesar salad, buttery garlic bread, and spaghetti and meatballs with homemade marinara.”)
2. The Old Clam House (“I cried, because the meal made me nostalgic for the seafood suppers my mom cooks after family days at the beach. And because I’d had two glasses of wine and a French lemonade cocktail.”)
3. Silver Crest Donut Shop (“You will never, ever be served precious nonsense that’s glazed with sustainable bacon-flavored angel tears. And bless them for it. The donuts here are gigantic and sugary and perfect for late nights or early mornings.”)
4. Paulie’s Pickles (“The brisket and liver sandwich at Paulie’s Pickling is so goddamned fantastic that we’re pretty much in an abusive relationship.”)

Playing host to four of San Francisco’s six finest no-fuss eateries is a rather impressive accomplishment. Or, as Sara Faith Alterman might say, “Holy F*ck!” So eat up, Bernal Heights, and remember always that we are living the dream.

PHOTOS: From top, Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack, Silvercrest Diner, Old Clam House, and Paulie’s Pickles, by The Bold Italic

Well, that didn’t take long. There was hopeful jubilation among Bernal Heights old-timers when the legendary Palace Steak House on the corner of Mission and Cesar Chavez re-opened under new ownership last year after having been vacant since 2009. But nostalgia and low prices were not sufficient to sustain the enterprise, because the Palace Steak House is closed again, with a sign in the window indicating that the business is for sale.

To be sure, there were problems. The Yelp page for the Palace Steak House is rife with so many one-star reviews that it now reads like a postmortem. Entertaining sample:

Yelp needs to give us the option of negative stars. I loved the old Palace Steak House and had many great memories of good steak for a reasonable price the whole family could enjoy. This place is worse than a dive, at least dives have some charm.  The best thing I can say about this place is that there were many empty sticky tables to choose from and that should have been my first clue!

My friend and I ordered the ribeye medium rare and it came back brown all the way though.  It was a weird cut and was thin.  I sent them back and asked for a steak cooked the way I ordered it-medium rare.  The second steak came back even worse than the first one!!  Since I ate their salad (it was ok) and their garlic toast (they claim they use butter but when he brought it out for the baked potato it looked like someone urinated in cream corn-could not use it), so I offered to pay for that but wanted a refund for the difference since it was inedible.  No refund so I refused to leave until he called the owner and said I would wait.  The owner did not come in until I started advising people to don’t order the steak-just look at mine. That’s when the insulting owner cae in with some guy who just stared at us (I guess waiting for us to leave).  He told me he would call the police if I did not leave and I told him to go ahead since his food was a crime. I told him I would be happy to leave once he repaid me and never come back.  After many tiresome threats from him to call the police, and a couple hours had passed I decided to call the police myself.  I knew that the SFPD could not get my money back (actually they told me my only option was the BBB and Yelp) but am glad I called them as my friend and I are elderly.  They gave us a friendly wave as we laughed our way into our car.  That was the friendliest smile and gesture during our whole dining experience.

Save your money (yes yes yes – I know it’s cheap) and find a different steak house.  These people do not deserve customers…and I am glad to say they did not have many.

There are many more like this. Yet truth be told, it was obvious even from afar that the new Palace was troubled. Indeed, the fatal flaw was quite literally visible from across the street (and in the top photo shown above).

How? I am not a food savant, nor a restaurant guru. But I did grow up in New Jersey, and there are two cuisines that survivors of the Garden State know well: steak houses and pizza joints. And the key insight that anyone from New Jersey understands intuitively is that you can be a steak house, or you be a pizza joint, but you should never, ever, EVER trust a place that tries to be a steak house and a pizza joint at the same time. The Stink of Death emanated from The Palace from the moment when that new “Steak & Pizza” sign was installed on the facade. Dooooooooomed!

Not because I wished it, but because it simply could be no other way.

Now, let’s all sing along together:

PHOTOS: Former Palace Steak & Pizza House on October 14, 2012, by Telstar Logistics

I just didn’t have the heart to publish this last week, right on the heels of the news about the closure of Four Star Video, but last week several readers wrote to say that Locavore, the classy restaurant on Mission at Valencia, had also closed its doors.

Inside Scoop had the news a few weeks back:

Locavore owner Mario Duarte sends word that he will close his Mission Street restaurant on October 1. He says he wants to spend more time with his family.

Locavore opened almost exactly two years ago, in November 2010, on the stretch of Mission Street south of Cesar Chavez but north of Cortland, near Blue Plate and El Rio, among others. Locavore and its chef-partner Jonathan Merritt notched an encouraging 2.5 stars from Michael Bauer and later went on to earn notoriety for its signature burger, which Bauer dubbed “so darn good … a top-shelf hamburger.”

Still, Neighbor Robert was sad to discover that Locavore was gone when he walked by yesterday:

I loved it. We went regularly practically from the week they opened. We started going when they used paper napkins and had no art on the walls. I’m not even sure they had their liquor license. But over time it grew into a real live restaurant. The food started out great and never flagged.

PHOTO: Neighbor Lee

If it’s been a while since you checked in at the Alemany Farmer’s Market, let these photos serve as a reminder to get yourself there ASAP.

It’s prime time for ripe summer fruits and vegetables right here, right now in our own little Garden of Eden. I took these photos at Alemany last Saturday, and the selection was rather heavenly.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics