I don’t know whether to laugh, sing, or declare martial law, but regardless…

Our uppity neighbors to the west, aka the vassals of La Lengua, have received some noteworthy recognition of their autonomous status — in the form of a unique neighborhood label on Google Maps. Check out the screen capture above, or look for yourself.

The Overlords of Bernalwood send congratulations to the Denizens of La Lengua. Si se pueda, juevos rancheros, and all that…

According to the experts, the nuclear plume from Japan’s Fukushima nuclear plant reached California today. Wheee!

For whatever it’s worth, here’s a suggestion if you’ve got kids: Forget about potassium iodide, and go buy some milk.

By all indications, the plume poses very little risk in California. But there is one possible asterisk: According to the New York Times and Bernalwood sources who have been in contact with public health authorities, parents with children may want to avoid fresh dairy consumption — perhaps for as long as three months.

The New York Times Green blog says:

Experts I’ve interviewed strongly doubt that there will be any significant risk on the West Coast, and say there is no reason to take the potassium iodide unless high levels of radioactive iodine develop. But again, scientists consider high levels unlikely in the United States. In addition, about 98 percent of a person’s dose comes from drinking contaminated milk, and if fallout were to reach here (again, unlikely) most people could protect themselves by not drinking milk or eating dairy products. Children are much more vulnerable than adults.

Blame the bovines: Fallout lands on the grass. Cows eat the grass. Fallout is concentrated in the cows and passed on via their milk.

One of our contacts, a journalist who lives in Bernalwood and who has interviewed California public health authorities, says, “The state said they are doing short and long-term monitoring of the dairy supply. I admit that is one thing I have stocked up on lately because milk these days has a long expiration date.”

Parents with kids might want to do the same. Consider putting a few gallons of milk in the fridge ASAP, and if you’re extra-concerned, you might buy a few boxes of shelf-stable, ultra-pasturized milk to use during the weeks ahead.

Admittedly, this may not be necessary at all, and your assessment will vary based on your own evaluation of potential risks. But as precautionary measures go, stocking up on a little extra milk seems pretty simple.

Image: Graphic by Telstar Logistics

NEWS FLASH: Glamorous Bernalwood resident Barbie has been attacked by a marauding reptile! Reader Jean Pedigo captures the drama:

Barbie’s situation is looking grim. This is the window at the Bernal Neighborhood Center. Ken hasn’t come to save her yet. Maybe this is a job for GI Joe?!?

The ideals of neighborliness, courtesy, and generous reciprocity are big themes here at Bernalwood. So it got our attention when reader Valerie emailed us to announce that she has been menaced by dog poop left behind by her neighbors’ canines. Valerie writes:

Here’s the skinny on the poop problem that I encounter on a daily basis.

While I am not a fan of the NIMBYers that seem to have popped up all over our fair Bernalwood, I have a legitimate NIMBY gripe.  You see, our backyard has literally become a toilet for the neighborhood dogs.  Since we live on the Esmeralda staircase, dogs and their owners stroll by in droves everyday on their way to and from the park at the top of the hill.

Please note, I love dogs — we have one of our own! — and I love that we live so close to a beautiful park that allows dogs to run off leash.  In fact that’s part of the reason we moved to Bernal in the first place.  But I’m rapidly losing patience with the people who do not pick up after their dogs.

We have what would amount to a “yard” on the side of our house, which abuts the staircase.  Not a day goes by that we don’t encounter a dog, off leash, that comes up the stairs sniffing around, getting ready to scout out a place to do their business.  Their human is usually many yards ahead or behind them, oblivious (or blissfully ignorant).  The dog does his thing, catches up to his owner and leaves us with a nice pile of pooh to either clean up or step in.  There are days when I have to pick up four or five piles of pooh (photo attached shows a fresh pile I came across this afternoon.)

It should also be noted that on our staircase, there are not one but TWO bag holders AND a public garbage can. The bag holders are rarely empty.  I’ve seen piles of dog poop NEXT to the overflowing container of bags.  Are you really so lazy that you can’t take two seconds to pick up after your dog??  As I’ve walked towards my house, I have seen people watch their dog poop in our yard and start to walk away. Only when they realize that it’s my house (and I’ve shot them the stink eye), do they fumble around looking in their pockets looking for a bag.  Ummm hello???  It’s not only the right thing to do, it is the law.

It’s things like this that make the city believe that all dogs should be leashed at all times.  I don’t want that for my dog or yours.   I beg of you Bernalites, have some common courtesy for your neighbors and pick up after your dog.  If you let your dog off-leash, watch where he goes and clean up after him!   If you don’t and I catch you, be prepared to find steaming piles of dog pooh on your front steps (I’m kidding… well maybe not…)

Photo: Courtesy of pooh-beseiged Valerie