Bernalwood Is So Chic, Even Our Dogs Have Fashion Contests

Everyone knows, we’re deadly serious about glamour and style here in Bernalwood. Yet few realize that our maniacal obsession with haute couture extends even to the canine crowd.

This was so clearly evident during the 2010 Holiday Winter Wear Contest held at Fit Bernal Fit, as part of the recent Cortland Holiday Stroll. Bernal’s four-legged fashionistas were out in full force, and now it’s time for you, ruthless human master, to judge the contestants.

Head on over to the Fit Bernal Fit Facebook page, browse the gallery of dressed-up doggies, and place your vote. Top Dog gets a free fashion photoshoot with Jean Pedigo Bernal’s own paparazzi-in-residence.

A Paean to the Killer Quiche from the Liberty Cafe Bakery

Bernalwood recently received a foodie tip from Bernalite Clare Middleton-Detzner, which we are republishing here as a gastronomic public service. Clare writes:

Sundays are for laziness. Yet even on lazy Sundays, there comes a moment between breakfast and dinner when a snack is required. (Lunch would be too ambitious.) For this, I head to the cottage behind the Liberty Cafe to grab a piece of their delicious, custard-like quiche.

Usually it is ham and cheese quiche. Sometimes spinach and cheese. But it doesn’t matter, because it will always be delicious, and it will always make you feel grateful to live in Bernalwood, the kind of place where you can get a slice of world-class quiche any day of the week.

Images: Clare Middleton-Detzner

Holiday Gift Ideas from Our Neighborhood Weedmonger


The Bernal Heights Collective is a dispensary that operates from a storefront on 29th Street, just west of Mission. Given the location, it should properly be called the La Lengua Collective, but we’ll let that that drop for now.

Harder to ignore are the vivid photos of the merchandise BHC posts on its website. Prop 19 might have failed at the polls, but the BHC website is a fascinating document, and a salient reminder that we live in interesting times.

Yet not only does the Bernal Heights Collective publish eye-popping online galleries of their product inventory, but if you’re on the hunt for stocking stuffers that will be a big hit (no pun intended) with the family back home in Oklahoma, consider picking up a few of BHC’s wholesome-looking knit hats, aka “Bernal Beanies.”

Or perhaps a sporty t-shirt that’s perfect for playing a few sets of tennis at the club?

All this, and more, from our eponymous weedmonger. They’ve got souvenirs of San Francisco your kinfolk will cherish for generations!

Excellent Art and Seasonal Cheer at Secession Friday Night

Secession Art & Design
I’ve become a big big fan of Secession Art and Design on Mission Street — so much so that I’ve spent a small pile of money there during the last few years. Others have taken notice too: The commie pinkos at the San Francisco Bay Guardian even named Secession “Best Art Gallery” in their 2010 Best of the Bay lineup.

So we’ve got that going for us. Which is nice.

This Friday night, Secession is having a Holiday Party from 6:30 to 9:30 pm to celebrate featured artists Hilary Williams and Bug House. Pair that with some dinner at nearby Ichi Sushi, and you’ll have yourself a downright civilized Bernalwood evening.

Image: Artwork by Bug House. Photo by Telstar Logistics

Our Seismologist Reports on Current Trends in Earthquake Science, Predicts Possible Hipster Exodus from The Mission

Julian Lozos, Bernalwood’s Senior Seismologist, has spent much of this week at the American Geophysical Union’s AGU 2010 conference, which is taking place downtown at the Moscone Convention Center. Julian filed this report to update us on the latest scientific thinking about earthquakes, faults, probabilities, and what all that means for helpless mortals living in Bernal Heights:

I attended sessions during which several major debates in earthquake science were discussed. One was about determining probable endpoints of earthquake rupture, and what that means for overall event size. A lot of this is determined by the geometry of the fault trace — which ties in directly to my research! — but regardless of whether or not you believe geometry has a big effect, the whole panel agreed that there are segments of fault in California, even aside from the San Andreas, that are long enough to produce earthquakes up to magnitude 8.

The second debate had to do with whether or not faults have “characteristic earthquakes” — that is, whether or not a fault creates essentially the same event (same epicenter, same length of rupture, same magnitude) over and over. By a characteristic model, a fault would have this large specific event at some recurrence interval, with very few smaller events in the interim.

The opposite end of the characteristic model suggests that faults have a wider range of earthquake sizes, and that the largest events might happen on different parts of the fault from earthquake cycle to earthquake cycle.

Earthquakes can’t be predicted by any means, but faults that don’t behave characteristically are even harder to sort out. In terms of what that means for San Francisco: If the San Andreas is characteristic, we can expect repeats of the 1906 rupture (and maybe some of the smaller Santa Cruz-ish segment ruptures, like Loma Prieta and 1836). A repeat of 1906 wouldn’t be as bad now as it was then, since we have better building codes and disaster response, but it would still be a large-scale disaster. Who knows, maybe more people would move to Bernal Heights after that one as well, after catching on to the benefits of our bedrock? (But would we WANT the potential hipster exodus out of the liquefacted Mission? Ahhhh.)

Anyhow, if the San Andreas is not characteristic, its next big quake in the Bay Area could still be the same general segment as 1906, but with a different epicenter that could lead to rupture directivity that sends even more seismic energy into San Francisco proper than happened in 1906. (In terms of directivity, actually, 1906 was kind of the BEST case. Yikes.) Or, the next big one might be some smaller subset of the 1906 rupture — which was pinned to the south by a part of the fault that doesn’t slip in earthquakes, and to the north by the end of the fault. Yet that’s still big enough to cause a lot of problems.

Of course, the Hayward, the Calaveras, and all the faults to the north of us have similar issues. If the 1868 Hayward event was the characteristic earthquake, well, we’re still in a lot of trouble. But if it was a smaller event within a bigger cycle, the eventual main event could be larger than the ~M6.8 of the 1868 event, and then we’ll REALLY be in trouble — though not as much trouble as the East Bay.

So there you go. Have a nice day!

Photo: The 1906 earthquake as seen from the bedrock safety of Bernal Hill, via the Bernal History Project

Rumor Report: SoCha Cafe May Become a Wine Bar

socha cafe (3)

La Lengua’s chief spokesblogger Burrito Justice reports that the SoCha Cafe on Mission Street may soon become an outpost of North Beach wine bar Dell’Uva. EaterSF follows up with the note that “the manager on duty today confirms they’re in landlord negotiations for the space, but nothing is definite yet.”

This is no doubt good news to oenophiles. But it’s bad news for me, because the current cafe is terrific, and it’s one of my favorite places to get out of the house to some reading and writing. Oh well. On the other hand, a name change at SoCha might put an end, once and for all, to any lingering confusion about the proper name of the territory where the establishment is located.

Image: SoCha Cafe interior, by Carlos Almendarez

Self-Proclaimed “King of Bernal Heights” Does Rude Things With His Nose, Uses Boldface Recklessly, Has Not Visited Paris

Meet Brady Bear, the “King of Bernal Heights.”

Who made him king? I didn’t vote for him!

This is the sort of unfortunate thing that happens when you give a dog a blog:

I’m the king of Bernal Heights .. HEAR ME … arf.

It was just another beautiful day in San Francisco. Mommy & daddy decided to take me along for their hike at Bernal Heights Park. It’s on Bernal Heights Blvd if you ever want to go check it out. I sniffed .. I mean, I met tons of other doggies. We all smelled each other’s butts. That’s how we get to know each other. It would be weird if humans did that…

Anyway, I’m glad it’s still winter.. but today felt like spring! It was breezy and warm. We went on a 45 minute hike on Bernal Hill. The view was magnificent! We saw the  downtown skyline, golden gate bridge .. just about every neighborhood in dear San Francisco. Oh, did you know San Francisco was named the 2nd most beautiful city in the WORLD?! Holy moly….. I think it should be #1! Whatever Paris is…. that made it to the top.

House Portrait: Jarboe & Ellsworth

301 Jarboe

As seen on the south slope early one morning around 8:30am.

On overcast mornings such as this, the dramatic blue and subtle orange-yellow color palette practically make this house pop off the block.

I’ve yet to meet the new owners. (It sold recently.) The stacked architecture leads me to believe this was at one time a garage, barn, or storage structure. If you know more, do tell in the comments.

The New Pavement on Bernal Heights Boulevard Makes It Feel Like Mulholland Drive (In a Good Way)

Bernal Heights Blvd.

Our City recently repaved Bernal Heights Boulevard.

Yay City! Yay Infrastructure!

The new road is so very smooth, which makes for happier motoring. (Or biking, or skateboarding, or go-carting, or whatever.)  The new road is also so very black, with a brand-new yellow stripe, which makes it so very cinematic, and especially at night.

After dark, it now evokes Mulholland Drive. Not in the woo-woo Los Angeles sense, but in the creepy David Lynch Mulholland Drive sense, which is so pleasingly atmospheric.

Image: Telstar Logistics