Driving home along Bernal Heights Boulevard tonight, the Cub Reporter asked me to pull over so she could look at the sunset. Then she unbuckled from the carseat, stepped out of the car, and her own tiny way, paused for a moment to appreciate the scenery.
PHOTO: Telstar Logistics
Okay, so, in a strictly geographical sense, this hilarious video isn’t about Bernal Heights. After all, like, we don’t even have a Whole Foods yet! (Editor’s Note: WHEW!)
But psychographically, the video hits close to home. Dawg, this is the big Bernalood life here at the intersection of urban grit, contemporary hip-hop, and organic produce! And besides… as @smurfcore points out:
She’s totally right. Replace “Whole Foods” with “Good Life” and the song raps just as real, yo.
Last weekend I found a must-have accessory for high-powered Bernal Heights executives who travel regularly for business.
I got it at “Cries of San Francisco,” a pop-up event in Mint Plaza downtown that was organized by the artsy folk at Southern Exposure:
The Cries of San Francisco is an interdisciplinary project that invites participants to make and sell crafted wares on Market Street, while “crying out” publicly on subjects of their own choosing. Merchants of food, flowers, sand, and matches; charcoal vendors and chimney-sweeps; basket sellers, knife and scissor grinders, chair menders, and love song writers: in urban folklore, whether as trickster border-crossers or as anchorless outcasts, street criers represent a liminal space between worlds. Questioning the essentialized personification of trades that historically locate economies of craft in and on the body, and by using the framework of historic street cries to articulate new subject positions, this project presents participants with an opportunity to consider their roles in historical processes.
Yeah. That. Anyway, one the peddlers was selling these cute pocket-sized transparency viewers, each of which contained an image of a San Francisco neighborhood. There was even one for Bernal Hill:
Of course I bought it. And when I held it up to my eye, here’s what I saw inside:
Oooh! Genius! A high-tech marvel! An instant cure for homesickness! Never runs out of batteries! Fits easily in any pocket, purse, or briefcase. Can be used anytime, in any hotel, aircraft, or mahogany-lined corporate boardroom! Someone needs to start selling these on Cortland Avenue — and in the pages of the Wall Street Journal.
PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics
It seems a bit odd to me that Bernal’s Locavore restaurant is a) rearranging its org chart like a Fortune 500 company, and b) issuing press releases about it. But with that caveat, Locavore just rearranged its org chart, and here are the details from their press release:
“We are proud to announce that we have promoted Jonathan Merritt to Executive Chef,” Locavore stated. “Jonathan has been acting in that capacity for several months and we are happy to officially recognize him” in the role of Executive Chef of the San Francisco organic restaurant.
In the food industry since he was 15, Merritt joined Locavore with experience and a dedication to excellence to match his ideas. After his studies at the Boise State Culinary Arts Program, Merritt moved to Portland, where he worked alongside several famous Portland chefs in successful restaurants including Pok Pok. Merritt’s expertise in French and Thai cuisine brings a new dimension to Locavore’s menu.
He replaces Locavore’s founder Jason Moniz as Executive Chef. Moniz will continue his role as a partner/co-owner of Locavore, but he will spend more time on special projects, including an expansion of the celebrated in-house sausage production.
I’m overdue for another visit to Locavore. Have you been? With Merritt now in command, how’s the food??
PHOTO: Inside Locavore, by Throgers
Here’s what it looks like this morning, looking west on Precita at the corner of Shotwell.
Executive Summary: Avoid! Avoid! Avoid!
What does Bernalwood have in common with our friends at 7×7 magazine? Obviously, we’re both ridiculously obsessed with glamour and style. So with that as our shared touchstone, we encountered an unpleasant surprise when we opened the July issue of 7×7 to find an article inside about the San Francisco’s “favorite dog parks.”
Favorite dog parks! Bernal Hill! Favorite! Bernal Hill! A slam dunk! Right??
Apparently not.
The gang at 7×7 gave props to Fort Funston, Corona Heights Park, Glen Canyon Park, and Chrissy Field. But Bernal Hill didn’t make the list. Yes, yes… Stray Bar got a shout-out in the sidebar as a canine-friendly place for humans to get plastered. But Bernal’s canine wonderland on the hill didn’t warrant inclusion on 7×7’s favorite list.
At first, we took some offense. “What, even a 4.5 star rating among the crankypants on Yelp isn’t enough to put Bernal Hill on 7×7’s fashionista map?
For example, after giving Bernal Hill five-star marks, here’s what one Yelper had to say on behalf of a doggy named Mochi:
We love this dog park and so does little Mochi!! We love the fact that it isn’t like any other dog park, where your dog is kept in a fenced off area…what fun is that?!
Dogs are free to run off leash here, and lots of running they do! The paved pathway is closed off to vehicles, so you don’t need to worry about that. There’s always lots of dogs here; small, medium and large and all very friendly.
With testimonials like that, what else does Bernal have to do to get the love? Do we need to offer an ergonomic doggy water fountain? Got it!!! Must we provide hipster minstrels who serenade dogs with song??? Will THIS suffice?????
Sheeesh.
But further reflection revealed that our omission from 7×7’s list is actually a blessing in disguise. Because, really, do we want all those hoi-polloi hounds from all over the City bounding around on Bernal Hill? Traipsing across our terrain with their dirty fur and slime-coated tennis balls? Frankly, no. We don’t. So it’s just as well that we didn’t make the list. Better to keep Bernal Hill an insider-only secret. In fact, we might even consider installing velvet ropes at both Upper and Folsom gates on Bernal Heights Boulevard.
Meanwhile, and totally coincidentally, Bernalwood is currently accepting nominations for our first-ever list of “favorite consumer-oriented San Francisco lifestyle publications,” which will appear in an upcoming post. Have at it in the comments.
Arf! Arf!
PHOTOS: From top: Telstar Logistics, Dunstan Orchard, k8itts, and Ed B
Reader Jennifer spotted this extremely permanent typo that’s been baked into a Bernalwood sidewalk:
Saw this sign in the pavement for “Misson Street” on Mission at Fair/Valencia. Maybe there wasn’t enough budget to buy another vowel?
Yeah, things are tough all over…
UPDATE:
Reader Throgers has amassed an impressive collection of “Sidewalk Typos” in a cringe-inducing Flickr photoset. Oof.
There’s lots more goodness where this came from — and always great stuff — at the My Back 40 (Feet) blog, published by another one of your astute Bernal Heights neighbors. Most definitely worth a bookmark.
PHOTOS: Chuck B
Did you know that Cortland Avenue once had a streetcar line? OMG! So true! Vicky Walker, Bernalwood’s Minister of History, brings this announcement about a very cool presentation that will happen at the Bernal Heights branch library on Wednesday night, June 15, at 7 pm:
Bernal History Project is proud to present a free slideshow and talk by S.F. transit and movie theatre historian Jack Tillmany (author of Theatres of San Francisco).
Bernal residents got their first taste of public transportation more than a century ago when streetcar tracks were laid down the middle of Cortland Avenue, and United Railroads trolley line #24 (Cortland/Divisadero/Richmond) linked three San Francisco neighborhoods. Soon after, line #23 (Richland/Valencia/Fillmore) completed the picture.
Jack will explore the roots of today’s #24 & #23 lines during the first forty years, when trolleys ran on tracks and the #9 line caused no end of confusion by running on Cortland and Richland at the same time. He will also bring “freebie souvenirs for those who show up.” He promises they are “most appropriate, authentic, and not to be found anywhere else.” Here’s a great interview with him courtesy of our friends at the Western Neighborhoods Project.
An important note: This presentation covers only the Cortland and Richland streetcar lines. Jack will present a separate show soon that covers the 30 (Army from Third St. to Bryant), the 25 (Bryant to Bayshore and then to San Bruno), and Muni’s H line, which terminated at Potrero and Army streets but was later extended down Bayshore to replace the 25. Sorry, NoCo residents — your turn will come!
The slideshow will be held in the meeting room of the Bernal branch library, 500 Cortland (at Andover); turn left at the bottom of the stairs. It starts promptly at 7 p.m.; note that the meeting room is small, so get there early to guarantee a seat!
This presentation is dedicated to the memory of San Francisco transit historian Phil Hoffman, who hosted one of BHP’s first slideshows and was always happy to help with our research.
PHOTOS: Top: Streetcars on Cortland, 1938 (via San Francisco Public Library); Bottom, a streetcar after it jumped the tracks on Cortland at Folsom, 1935 (via Bernal History Project).
Reader Karen was on hand last weekend when a car built during FDR’s presidency emerged from a Bernalwood garage for the first time since LBJ’s presidency:
Here’s a 1939 Studebaker being towed out of a garage at 1687 Alabama, a house that’s been derelict for the 8 years we’ve lived in the nabe — but which is now for sale by Shelley Trew. The owner of the car said it’s been sitting for 45 years. Some rust, but otherwise beautiful.
Karen was also kind enough to include a short video of the Studebaker emerging into the sunlight for the first time in a very long time. Bernalwood took the liberty of converting the video to slow-motion and adding a soundtrack for dramatic emphasis:
PHOTOS: Reader Karen
Ilya Yakubovich took these colorful snaps of sunrise atop Bernal Hill early last week. Gorgeous!
Meanwhile, and related-unrelated, it occurred to me recently that Bernal’s iconic microwave tower really needs a name. Calling it “Microwave Tower” is pretty lame.
I don’t have any specific ideas per se, but I would generally propose that — like its bigger cousin Sutro Tower — the name should be simple and vaguely honorific. Even “Bernal Tower”would work, for example. That’s just an obvious proposal; the Nomenclature Committee will consider any and all suggestions; please submit them in the comments below.
Let’s review some of the other things happening in Our Faire City, shall we?
An Illustrated Guide to Proper MUNI Etiquette (The Bold Italic)
The Red Vic Theater May Close Forever in July (Cole Valley Alley)
Clueless, Calcified MUNI Drivers Reject Proposed Contract (SF Examiner)
Mark Bittman LOVES Mission Chinese Food (New York Times Magazine)
Treasure Island Development Plan Approved by Board of Supes (SF Gate)
City Health Department Bans La Oaxaqueña’s Grasshopper Tacos (MissionMission)
Hipsters and Old Drunks Intersect at Clooney’s on Valencia/25th (Uptown Almanac)
Cool Video of SF’s Former Pacific Stock Exchange Trading Floor (SFist)
View from the Space Station, or Somewhere in The Mission? (Burrito Justice)
IMAGE: MUNI Etiquette by Bold Italic
Some people compete in triathalons. Others ride centuries. Still others scale tall mountains. But Bernalwood reader Cameron pushes the limits by eating everything on the menu at ICHI Sushi.
To celebrate our ninth anniversary, we went to our favorite Japanese restaurant — ICHI Sushi — and ate the entire menu.
This was an epic meal in every way. In 28 courses over four hours, we sampled every fish that was on offer and all of the hot and cold dishes. All of the raw fish was presented as sashimi.
The pictures in this set are in as close to chronological order as I can remember, from the oshinko opener to the last bite of tamago.
We had a wonderful time. Our thanks and love to Tim, Taka, Kendra, and the entire ICHI Sushi family.
Here’s the slideshow of the entire marathon meal.
PHOTOS: Reader Cameron
Bernalwood 