It’s a well-known fact that the big tree/shrub thingy atop Bernal Hill plays host to many dark mysteries. But now it seems that the distinctive plant has also acquired supernatural powers.
Over on the Instagram, photographer Nick Hatamiya channeled the wonderful “Kamehameha” Dragonball photo meme coming out of Japan to show Bernal’s tree-shrub thingy repelling an intrusive bystander with a powerful blast of invisible energy.
Nicely done!
PHOTO: @nickhata
SF Recreation and Parks department has organized an Earth Day tidy-up event on Bernal Hill, happening this weekend. Volunteers are wanted for a morning of energetic clean-uppery, and pizza will be provided. The event happens this Saturday, April 20, but registration closes tomorrow, so reserve your space now:
Join the SF Recreation and Parks and REI for Earth Day this year at Bernal Hill to help restore habitat and trails. On April 20th from 9 a.m. to noon, come for a vigorous morning workout removing invasive radish from the hillside or repairing the trail tread. Enjoy watershed activities with Kids In Parks to learn more about erosion. Volunteers should wear long sleeves, pants, and sturdy closed-toed shoes. Light snacks will be provided, and items will be raffled off to those who volunteer. Registration is limited, so please contact joe.grey@sfgov.org now to reserve your spot.
Strong winds took down a tree on Eugenia at Elsie yesterday, and Neighbor Emily commends the Forces of Nature for carefully avoiding the vehicles that were parked nearby:
How lucky this car and scooter were that the tree and wind had some foresight!
As you can see, the scooter was avoided entirely, while the Saab seems to have suffered damage only to its aerodynamically ineffectual (and asethetically dubious) rear spoiler. Bernalwood will chalk this up to Nature’s Plan.
PHOTOS: Neighbor Emily
You might recall that the Bernal Dads Racing Team recently took The Whale, their craptastic Volvo station wagon race car, up to Sears Point in Sonoma for a weekend of motorsports with 24 Hours of LeMons — the endurance racing series for $500 cars. So how did the Bernal Dads do out on the track?
As the Facebook kids say… It’s complicated.
The trip from Bernal Heights to Sonoma got off to a loovley start, as The Whale was extracted from its Top Secret Base in the neighborhood and loaded for transport:
At the track, Judge Phil from the LeMons Ministry of Justice took a few moments to marvel that a) The Whale still runs even after 13 races, and b) The Whale really does reside in Bernal Heights between races:
When the green flag dropped and the racing began, and the Dads quickly ran into trouble: The Whale’s felt sluggish. A bit lethargic. Like it needed a Red Bull. A check under the hood revealed the problem: A spark plug wire had some loose, so The Whale was only running on three of four cylinders. Oops. A quick re-tightening, and the car regained its normal vigor.
Then the transmission started acting funny. Funny, as in, no third gear. Sometimes. Or fourth gear. Sometimes. It kept running, so the Dads kept racing, yet as the first day wore on it became clear that a replacement transmission was needed. Some pleading notes were posted to various online forums for Volvo geeks, and a replacement transmission was soon found resting comfortably in the front yard of a home in San Rafael. So while The Whale continued limping around the track, a detachment of Bernal Dads headed to Marin to purchase the Volvo transmission lawn ornament for $150.
That night, they borrowed the keys to a friend’s trackside garage, and set to work replacing the old crappy tranmission with the new crappy transmission:
After a robust dinner break, the swap was completed by midnight, and the next morning The Whale was again ready to race. Racer Brandon took the first shift, but he quickly returned to the paddock complaining about a slipping clutch cable.
That was fixed, so he went back out, and then came back in, because the cable was slipping again. Then it was fixed — for real this time — but soon Racer Brandon was back in the paddock yet again after a rather impressive fender-bender. I mean that very literally:
Luckily, Racer Brandon is also a graduate of the Bernal Dads School of Auto Body Repair, so he knew exactly what to do:
Voila! Good enough!
After that, it was mostly clear sailing. Saturday’s mechanical gremlins kept the Bernal Dads far from the top of the race standings, but for the rest of the day on Sunday The Whale was in fine form.
To get a sense of what that means, this ride-along video captures one lap around Sears Point with Racer Fiid, as The Whale goes head-to-head against a hot-pink BMW with a rear spoiler made from a snowboard, and a black Ford with a big, sparkly tail. Go fullscreen, and step on the gas:
Wheeeeeeeeeee!
And a good time was had by all:
PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics
The paradoxical thing about the foodie incubator at 331 Cortland is that — by design — the businesses you know and love most there will eventually move elsewhere. The purpose of 331 Cortland is to nurture fledgling businesses so they can go on to bigger and more glamorous things. So lots of wistful goodbyes at 331 Cortland means that the place is working pretty much as intended. That’s what happened with Ichi Sushi. That’s what happened to El Porteña. And now it’s happening to Bernal Cutlery.
Hooray! Dammit.
Neighbor Kelly from Bernal Cutlery tells Bernalwood the happy-sad news:
Thank you Bernal Heights for eight years of dull knives and sharp wits.
The rumors are true. Bernal Cutlery is hatching from the 331 Cortland small business incubator and will be opening a new shop at 593 Guerrero (at 18th St) next month. And yes, we are proud to say we will still be called Bernal Cutlery.
Bernal Heights has been the neighborhood that has been home to our growing family and growing business for the last 10 years, and we are immensely grateful to have had the support and encouragement of the neighborhood.
We also must make a point to thank the 331 Cortland small business incubator project for providing us the springboard to grow our business with a brick and mortar location. This has been key in our evolution from a shoestring home based-operation to what we are today.
We seek to create a drop off spot on the hill for all of our Bernal Customers. Stay tuned for details about who our host spot will be, and who the new vendor at 331 will be!
Lots of love and appreciation,
Josh and Kelly and our three boys: Charlie Henry and Milton
PS: Taka-san says, ‘peace’!
PHOTO: Josh and Kelly of Bernal Cutlery
The streets around Precita Park are famous for glamorous style and a burgeoning array of amenities, but the SFPD’s Ingleside Station also identifies the area as a hotbed for smash-and-grab car break-ins. Neighbor Claudine reports that residents in the high-altitude reaches of Shotwell Street are fed up:
The rash of car break-ins continues on the North slope with Shotwell at Montezuma and Elsie as the latest targets . The hand-written signs posted up and down our street reflect the citizen concern that we are all getting broken in to nightly. There were two of us replacing our car windows on a recent morning at A1 Glass on Oakdale, where we had the pleasure of meeting one another as we bemoaned this epidemic, and shared notes about reporting the incidents to 311. More reports will hopefully equal more patrolling of our neighborhood!!!
The obvious thing that’s still worth saying is this: Do not leave anything visible in your parked car. Not just anything valuable; don’t leave anything visible whatsoever. Remove your garage door opener from your car. Notice also that the Mirabellians have their own mailing list to share information and foster vigilance. Subscribe and stay connected.
PHOTOS: Neighbor Claudine
The skies over Bernal Heights may have played host to another glamorous visitor today: President Barack Obama!
POTUS is in town for a series of fundraisers, and this morning Anthony Brown, Bernal’s celebrity penguinologist, looked up from his home to see two Sea Knight helicopters flying in formation over our cozy airspace.
Was Obama on board one of them? Obama was in town this morning, so it’s possible!
If he was airborne over Bernal, we can be quite confident that Obama was looking down, smiling wistfully, and imagining how glorious it would be to take his dog Bo for a run on Bernal Hill with Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Or maybe he was thinking about how fantastic it would be to drop by Paulie’s to get a jar of those famous pickles straight from the source.
Or maybe not.
Maybe those twin-rotor helos were just carrying his support team, while Obama flew aboard his single-rotor Black Hawk. *sigh*
UPDATE: 4 April, 1:30 pm
Perhaps Obama DID fly over Bernal Heights! Neighbor Kevin snapped this photo which shows the single-rotor Marine One helicopter visible in the middle.
Neighbor Kevin says:
I took it from my balcony/house on Ripley. So, if the president looked a little to his right he had a great view of Bernal.
… at which point POTUS no doubt paused to daydream of frolicking with Bo and the family on Bernal Hill, and the zesty crunch of a Paulie’s Pickle.
Another late-breaking event for your Bernal Heights lifestyle: Tonight, Thursday 4/4 at 7:00 pm, Inclusions Gallery on Cortland will host an artist talk with San Francisco painter April Hankins:
April Hankins’ abstract work is spontaneous, strong in color, and adventurous in mark and gesture. Her paintings evoke a distinct sense of place, tangentially referencing locale with an evolved and complex palette.
Prior to receiving her BFA from Massachusetts College of Art, April Hankins took time from studio practice to initiate and direct the Boston exhibition of Judy Chicago’s “The Dinner Party,” now permanently housed at the Brooklyn Museum.
For her work in the Yale School of Art MFA program, Hankins was awarded the Ely Harwood Schless Memorial Prize for excellence in painting. Subsequently, she has been twice nominated for an award in painting by the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
Hankins work is in the museum collections of Yale and Harvard Universities, as well as the print collection of The New York Public Library. Her paintings are in the corporate collections of Pfizer, Inc., and most recently, Host Marriott.
Invited by Le Genie de la Bastille Parisian, Hankins traveled to Paris with a selection of paintings to participate in the collective’s open studios. Upon returning she used photographs taken during her three- week visit to create abstract collages capturing the uniquely beautiful light of Paris.
Through Isha yoga Hankins has learned meditation and traveled twice to South India for intensive practice. The artist observes that meditation increases her awareness of a quiet distancing from thought and perception, in striking contrast to an isolating sense of self, adding an intrinsic dimensionality to her work.
Having lived and worked in San Francisco for over a decade, Hankins’ painting reflects Northern California’s distinctive light and color. Frequent travel provides a contrast of density and mood, further informing her work. Hankins’ process of painting accommodates an altered sense of space, and her painting has become direct, unpredictable and surprising.
If you miss the talk tonight, the show runs at Inclusions until April 28.
PHOTO: April Hankins
Ooh! Space is limited, and this is late notice, but there’s a fun Lego-building event for kids taking place at the Bernal Heights Library this afternoon:
Have an itch to build something!? We have a large selection of LEGOs to get you started. If you need a little creative prompting, we have ideas to get you started with. For kids ages 5-12 . Parents and caregivers are welcome to build with their child. Space is limited to first 20 children arriving.
Price: Free
Age 5-12 yrsLocated At:
San Francisco Public Library – Bernal Heights
500 Cortland Avenue, San Francisco, CA, 94110When:
Thursday Apr 4th 2:15pm – 4:45pm
PHOTO: Vintage Lego advertisement from 1981
Well, this is convenient.
Last week, the Bernalwood Office of Signals Intelligence detected a
tweet
from @sfhistorian which contained a rather awesome
photograph taken from Bernal Hill in the early 1900s, circa 1907.
The photo shows the view looking over today’s La
Lengua Autonomous Zone, toward Noe Valley and Twin Peaks.
It has great resolution. It reveals tons of interesting historical
detail. It made Bernalwood’s imaging analysts smile. Unfortunately,
writing up a post about a photo like this takes a great deal of
time. Fortunately, La Lengua propagandist Burrito Justice also
found @sfhistorian’s tweet, and it compelled him to do a very
thorough geek-out on the image… so I don’t have to.
Yesssssssss. Thus, under the terms of the
Bernal-La Lengua Treaty of Common Historical Reciprocity, we are
pleased to recommend a few highlights from the Burrito
Justice study of the c. 1907 photograph. We begin with
this annotated version of the original image, created by
Bernalwood’s Tactical Graphics Unit: 
Burrito Justice provides
this detail of the railroad trestles for the Southern Pacific
Railway running south along Dolores toward the Bernal
Cut: 
Some zooming and
enhancing reveals the future Rock Bar, looking more or
less the same, but less rocky than today. 
The former Lyceum Theater
stands next to today’s La Alteña Taqueria: 
Burrito Justice uncovered
a jaw-dropping quantity of sordid tales about the tenants of the
former Railroad Hotel that stood at 24 Tiffany Street: 
The building was later
called the Cable House, and the character of its residents was
typified by this incident from 1906: 
A great deal more
unseemliness took place at the Cable House, and Burrito Justice has
lots more to enjoy. Finally, there are telling details about
parking conditions in early twentieth century Bernal Heights, where
residents clearly didn’t worry about hitching their horses in
curbside red zones on Prospect Street (perhaps because there were
no curbs). Unfortunately, we can’t tell from the photograph if
passive
aggressive parking notes had been slipped into the
horses’ bridles: 
Seriously though, Burrito
Justice did some amazing sleuthing to reveal the many stories
this one photograph has to tell, so don’t confine yourself to this
Bernalwood greatest hits summary. Go
read the whole original thing! PHOTOS: Original
image, via Calisphere.
Inset detail photos and maps, by Burrito Justice. Annotated photo
by Bernalwood, with hints from Burrito Justice.
There was gnashing of teeth (and sheetmetal) on Mission Street this morning as a 14 Limited Muni bus evvvvver sooooo slooooowly backed into a Bernal neighbor’s parked car — while the owner of the car reportedly watched in horror, shouting “”Stop! Hey! What the hell are you doing!”
Added Bonus: The accident also caused major congestion on Mission at 30th Street, as the stricken bus blocked several lanes of traffic while waiting for the SFPD to arrive. Much honking ensued. Good times…
PHOTO and NEWS TIP: Nathanael Johnson
What are the “It Looks” to have while walking your dog in Bernal Heights this season? Neighborhood artist Laurie Wigham created this handy illustrated field guide to show what’s hot in canine-accompanied hill fashion for Spring 2013:
People walking their dogs on Bernal Hill in the late afternoon. When I started sketching it was warm enough that jackets were tied around waists, but then it turned cold and people wore the jackets. I had just listened to John Muir Laws talk about how to remember bird calls, so I tried to apply that to representing the way one man was whistling for his dog to come (“Fee-Fu” x 3).
The issue of gentrification in Bernal Heights is a delicate subject that’s often framed as a tension between Bernal oldtimers vs. newer arrivistes — with the latter frequently derided as techie “masters of the universe” who don’t fully appreciate the funky, ragtag diversity that has done so much to nurture the Bernal we now know and love.
I’ve always chafed at that stereotype… and not just because my day job would nominally mark me as one of those techie douchebags. More empirically, I’ve gotten to know a lot of Bernal newcomers while working on Bernalwood during the last few years, and I have yet to meet one who really matches the techie caricature.
Instead, if I had to generalize, I’d say the common denominator among newer Bernalistas is that most are “makers” — dynamic people who create clever products or cultural objects that are well-suited to the economic realities of 21st century American capitalism. Some work for big companies, and some are self-employed, but most conform to the (admittedly somewhat squishy) “creative class” archetype proposed by social theorist Richard Florida.
Now, as it turns out, Richard Florida has created a map which shows how thoroughly the creative class has settled in Bernal. Using data from the 2010 Census, Florida’s map compares density of service workers and creative class-types around San Francisco:
The creative class includes people who work in science and technology, business and management, arts, culture media and entertainment, law and healthcare professions. All told its ranks make up 39.4 percent of the [San Francisco] metro’s workers, substantially better than the national average of 32.6 percent and has the 16th largest share among the nation’s metros. These creative class positions are high-skilled, highly-educated, and high-paying where workers average $91,361 per year in wages and salaries, almost 30 percent more than the national average of $70,890 and second only to the nearby San Jose (Silicon Valley) metro.
When you zoom in to Bernal Heights in Florida’s map, the geography of gentrification becomes easy to see, with Bernal’s creative class dominating the purple census tracts, and service workers in the red:
So if at times Bernal Heights seems a bit divided on itself, well… that’s because in some ways it is, with the northeastern portion dominated by creative class-types, while service-sector employment prevails in the southwest. The dichotomy can be delicate to navigate, but I remain convinced that our shared Bernalnicity shall prevail.
Bernalwood 
