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Cocktail Confidential: The Backstory Behind the Royal Cuckoo

/ Todd_Lappin

The Royal Cuckoo

EaterSF tells the creation tale of The Royal Cuckoo — the much-welcomed new cocktail bar at the intersection of Mission and Valencia — and its founder, Paul Miller:

Miller was stretched after the purchase, so to fill the bar he essentially moved his entire apartment into it—furniture, pictures, trinkets, most all of it. Then, with the help of long-time pal Brian—whom Miller worked with over the years at Bruno’s, Foreign Cinema, and Chez Spencer—he gutted it, painted it a deep maroon, and added wooden wall sidings to antiquate the aura. To accent the darker colors, he added 1960’s-era lamps, alternating them with blue, green, and yellow bulbs, and he pushed the mood further with stain glass candleholders and flowered vases about the place. Taking it in for the first time, you might get the feeling you’re at a heady saloon in a mountain town, or in what you’d imagine to be a 1950’s jazz club in New York, ‘round 52nd street. Comparisons make for wasted words though, because Royal Cuckoo isn’t really modeled after anything. It’s just a collection of things that Miller and his friends like—old leather armchairs, salvaged church pews converted to benches and booths, nature paintings in old frames, antlers, vinyl. It’s the red carpet leading you to Cuckoo’s heart and soul—music and cocktails.

Along the way we also learn that The Royal Cuckoo is named after a bar in Long Beach where Miller’s grandfather loved to tie one on, that most of the records on the turntable pre-date the Carter Administration, and that there’s a Hammond organ hidden behind the bar. The EaterSF piece is a good read.

PHOTOS: giggie larue and Telstar Logistics

Meet Your Mayoral Candidates on Cortland, Saturday

/ Todd_Lappin / 3 Comments

San Francisco City Hall

The Bernal Heights Neighborhood Center has organized a meeting that will allow residents of the Dominion of Bernalwood to meet the candidates who have thrown their hats in the ring to become San Francisco’s next mayor. The session will take place this Saturday, May 14, at 515 Cortland Street from 9 am to 1 pm.

BHNC provides the complete details:

CONFIRMED ATTENDEES:

  • Bevan Dufty
  • Leland Yee
  • David Chiu
  • Joanna Rees
  • Tony Hall
  • Harold Miller
  • Robert “Bobby” Jordan
  • John Avalos

INVITED:

  • Michaela Alioto-Pier
  • Dennis Herrera (sending a representative)

We hope to engage as many community members as possible, and hope to incorporate as many of your questions during the Q & A portion of Community Congress. A few randomly chosen questions submitted through this form will be asked during that portion of our program. Because Community Congress is BHNC’s biggest membership event, we ask that you frame your questions within our three core advocacy areas of:

  • Affordable Housing
  • Health & Public Safety
  • Immigrant Rights.

PHOTO: City Hall by canbalci

Nomenclature Update: Introducing “The Spaghetti Bowl”

/ Todd_Lappin / 17 Comments

IMG_0092

The Meeting of 2 Freeways

The East Bay has The MacArthur Maze, and North Bernal has The Hairball. Now reader Vizetelly has put forth a proposal for the 101/280/Alemany junction in South Bernal:

I nominate the name “Spaghetti Bowl” for the Alemany-101 interchange.

The Bernalwood Nomencature Committee reviewed this proposal, and it was heartily endorsed. Let it be The Spaghetti Bowl from this day onward.

Oh, and if you happened to get stuck in that particularly nasty traffic this morning — caused by a horrible accident on southbound 101 near Candlestick, and photographed below by chuck b — you had some time to get to know The Spaghetti Bowl all too well:

IMG_0100

PHOTOS: Top, chuck b, Agus Sutano, Troy Holden, Below, chuck b

Amsterdam on Mission Street? Proposed Cannabis Club and Coffee Shop Creates Concern

/ Todd_Lappin / 17 Comments

The Bernalwood reader hotline went ring-a-ding-ding over the weekend, and when we picked up the line this message greeted us:

We received a permit application the other day for a new Cannabis club near Mission St. and Precita. (3139 Mission Street to be exact). And to be even more specific, they want to open a “coffee shop/cannabis dispensary.” It will be directly across the street from Roccapulco, Nap’s and El Rio.

I want to know if other Bernal folks are aware, and if they’re not, I was wondering if you could help spread the word.

I’m sure there will be supporters for the club and the anti-supporters. Either way, I think neighbors should know.

It’s slightly disturbing to hear that they want to couple a cannabis shop with a coffee-shop (Does that mean teens can go in? Does that mean they can have extended hours?). Do we really need another cannabis club? There’s already a cannabis club three streets away (at 29th and Mission).

Really?! A proposal to create a combination cannabis club and coffee shop?! Is Bernal Heights having its Amsterdam Moment??!! Bernalwood dispatched our satellite truck to 3139 Mission to investigate.

3139 Mission Street

Turns out, 3139 Mission was most recently used as an administrative and billing center for St. Luke’s Hospital, and there is a Planning Department permit application notce affixed to the front gate. Sure enough, the notice says the structure is proposed for use as a medical cannabis dispensary and retail coffee store:

The building itself was built in 1969, and it has one of those unfortunate facades that were common during the period, when architects adapted to Vietnam-era protest movements (and/or the arrival of the Planet of the Apes movie franchise) by creating bunker-like structures with few street-level windows to smash during civil unrest. Which is to say, it’s unlikely that the new cannabis will ever offer a warm, welcoming Socha- or Starbucks-style entrace.

3139 Mission Street

It seems clear that our tipster (who asked to remain anonymous) is not a fan of the proposal. Fair enough. But in reference to the specific questions:

Does that mean teens can go in? Does that mean they can have extended hours?

Almost certainly not. The permitting framework that governs all medical cannabis dispensaries in the City would supersede the retail coffee part of the business, and those permitting regulations explicitly prohibit persons under 18 years of age from entering a dispensary, prohibit the sale of alcoholic beverages, and require cannabis dispensaries to close by 10 pm nightly. Likewise, the City Planning Department’s Letter of Determination established that, per code, the proposed facility at 3139 Mission is not within 1000 feet of any primary or secondary schools.

That means there’s no need to press the usual NIMBY hot-buttons of protecting the children and safeguarding the night — regardless of whether or not you think the neighborhood needs another dispensary.

Inevitably, however, the cannabis dispensary/coffee shop will impact local businesses. For example, the proposed facility is just a few doors down from Baby Blues BBQ, which happens to be delicious. It is reasonable to assume that Baby Blues BBQ would profit handsomely from the arrival of the dispensary/coffee shop, as a steady stream of munchie-afflicted patrons from the latter will drift down the street to satiate their cravings for hearty grilled meats.

Indeed, the combination of cannabis, coffee, and BBQ could turn this stretch of Mission Street into a Vortex of Vice, not least because the storefront that today houses Baby Blues BBQ was once home to Disernia’s Pharmacy — and to this day the building retains much of its original drug store signage.

Which brings us to the biggest bombshell of all…

If you stand right in front of the proposed dispensary location at 3139 Mission and look up at the signage left over from the pharmacy days, two of the signs align *perfectly* to conflate DRUGS and LIQUOR in a subliminal acrostic that could play havoc on the weed-addled minds of future dispensary patrons. See for yourself:

3139 Mission Street

Subtle? Yes. Clever? Extremely. Diabolical? Very!

Bernalwood will keep you posted on this cannabis/coffee proposal as it develops.

PHOTOS: Top, illustration via Hocus Locus. All other photos by Telstar Logistics.

The Cesar Chavez Hairball = Electric Avenue

/ Todd_Lappin / 10 Comments

The Cesar Chavez/101 “Hairball” is not one of the more lovely corners of Bernalwood, but a few of our favorite photographers have nevertheless managed to make it look beautiful. They’ve been having some fun lately shooting the Hairball at night, so plug in and check out the buzz:

Coming Around The Corner
Around The Corner by Troy Holden

Pit Stop
Pit Stop by Bob Horowitz

Hairball S-Curve Split
Hairball S-Curve Split by Troy Holden

Light Trails on Ceasar Chavez
Light Trails on Ceasar Chavez by Matt Granz Photography

Cesar Chavez At Highway 101
Cesar Chavez At Highway 101 by Bob Horowitz

Thanks to you all for sharing your shots.

Local Artist Creates Weird, Wonderful Wooden Automaton

/ Todd_Lappin / 4 Comments

Nikolas Weinstein Studios is a workshop on Valencia Street, deep within the La Lengua Autonomous Zone.  The studio fabricates beautiful, architectural-scale glass sculpture for clients around the world, including those amazing glass fixtures inside Bar Agricole in SOMA. David Johnson, one of the studio’s master craftsmen, helps make it all happen. But in his spare time, Dave unwinds by building wooden automata — intricate, hand-cranked machinery. As you can see above, his latest work is marvelous:

After countless weeks toiling in his underground secret lair (garage), Johnson went live over the weekend with his latest gizmo, a gift for his father-in-law’s 75th birthday (several components of the mechanics are dimensioned to be exactly 75mm). All the gears are hand-cut on a scroll saw and the auger mechanism was stolen from a plastic drywall anchor. The man is mad. God bless his madness.

Is This the Best Jukebox in Bernal Heights?

/ Todd_Lappin / 9 Comments

So, is this the best jukebox in all of Bernal Heights? You’ll find this one inside the 3300 Club on Mission at 29th, and according to Emily Savage of the SF Weekly, it rocks the hardest:

3300 Club is the best kind of dive. It’s dark, comforting, and full of regulars who get smacked down a peg by the sassy bartender when they get too mouthy. The homemade artwork on the walls is as eclectic as the music on the jukebox. The club’s classic juke has a delightful mix of Chet Baker, the Kinks, the Specials, and Frank Sinatra. The traditional choices are there in full force — Johnny Cash, Tom Petty, the Rolling Stones — along with some interesting new choices like Mumford & Sons and Duffy. There are even oddball options like Fishbone, and, of course, perfect whiskey-drinking companions like Tom Waits.

The club has a wonderful array of choices, records to fit your every mood, and just enough charm to keep you seated squarely on your stool at the bar, cold drink in hand.

The jukeboxes at Nap’s 3 and El Rio also get kudos, but frankly, I fear the judges may have overlooked the *coolest* jukebox(es) in the Dominion of Bernalwood: The old-skool tableside units found inside the mildly-scary Silver Crest Diner on Bayshore. I doubt that the 45s at Silver Crest have been changed since 1971, but that’s just part of the charm:

PHOTOS: Top, 3300 Club by Telstar Logistics. Bottom, Silver Crest by sam_ward13

Coming Soon: Fancy-Shmancy Tequila to Pair with Your Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack

/ Todd_Lappin / 10 Comments

El Amigos Cantina

There’s plywood and construction netting covering El Amigos Cantina, the bar on the corner of Mission and Virginia that’s connected at the hip with Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack.

El Amigos was an odd but not unpleasant place to grab a drink while waiting for a table to open up at Emmy’s, so what will happen to the space now? Emmy’s isn’t expanding; rather, the folls there told Bernalwood the family that runs El Amigos is transforming the joint into a “more upscale” tequila bar. I was made to understand that “more upscale”will likely be relative; rather than being upscale upscale, the tequila bar will simply be more upscale than the old El Amigos — which isn’t really so hard to do, so we’ll have to just wait and see.

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

Oh. My. God. This. Sutro. Tower. Tattoo!

/ Todd_Lappin / 3 Comments

Anyone who’s ever gone for a stroll on Bernal Hill knows that even though Sutro Tower isn’t properly part of the Dominion of Bernalwood, the landmark tower on Twin Peaks is an essential part of our landscape. So we took note when our hipster friends at Uptown Almanac snagged a snap of this intense tattoo.  KevMo pretty much tells it like it is:

Considering its expansive coverage of local landmarks (Sutro, Palace of Fine Arts, Transamerica Pyramid, Giant’s Logo, Golden Gate Bridge, Coit Tower, and walls of fog), and the fact it just looks sick, I’m going to have to go ahead and declare Geoff winner of the SF tattoo game.  I mean, pretty much the only thing that could be done to up the ante at this point is getting a giant portrait of Dirty Harry on your back, a cable car climbing up your ass crack, the Rice-A-Roni logo on your forehead, [and] an IT’S-IT on each of your butt cheeks.

PHOTO: via Uptown Almanac