People

The Yoga of Bernal: Drive. Slow Down. Wave. Yield. Connect.

/ Todd_Lappin / 16 Comments

No, After You

Andrea Ferretti moved to Bernal Heights last year, and she’s noticed that living here has had an enlightening influence upon her approach to daily life. She traces the root of that experience to the ritual that take place when two cars try to pass one another on one of Bernal’s tiny, narrow streets. Andrea calls this “The Yoga of Bernal”:

Bernal marches to its own drummer and the pace of that drummer is verrry slow. When I first moved there and I would drive home from work, I found myself exasperated as soon I reached Bernal. I would be in fast-twitch, downtown mode, eager to get home when suddenly I’d be halfway down a steep, narrow hill nose to nose with a driver coming the other direction. One of us would have to awkwardly back up or pull into a driveway to let the other pass.

Then one day something shifted. I noticed the rhythm to driving in Bernal: If you see another driver coming toward you in the distance, you pull over to the right—this is easy to do once you reach a small intersection—and it allows you smoothly weave around each other in a sort of dance. You do this over and over again as you drive through the neighborhood—either you choose to yield or the other car does— and it works out perfectly. When I clicked into this simple Bernal dance I felt like I’d finally arrived as a local. Sure, you have to slow down a bit, you have to give your neighbor driver a friendly wave, and you have to be willing to yield. But that’s all part of what living in Bernal is all about. Slowing down, giving a wave, yielding when it’s necessary.

PHOTO: “No, After You!” by Telstar Logistics

Let Us Now Appreciate Jackie Jones and Her Dancing Cat

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Jackie Jones and Her Dancing Cat

Jackie Jones has been a Saturday fixture at Bernal’s own Alemany Farmer’s Market for as long as I can remember, entertaining foodies — and their kids — with her charming musical act. She was at Alemany last weekend, and — the passage of time being what it is — I confess that each time I see her I always fear it may be the last. She is a Bernal Heights treasure.

Jackie’s instruments include a washboard guitar, a hand saw she plays like a fiddle, and a battered boombox she uses to DJ her backbeats via well-worn cassette tapes. Best of all, however, is Jackie’s feline sidekick — a dancing wooden controlled by a foot pedal.

Now more than 80 years old, Jackie was featured in a 2005 article in the San Francisco Chronicle that described at her musical repertoire:

Since she arrived in San Francisco in March 1952 from New Orleans Jones has played music continuously in dance bands bar bands Latin bands Russian bands stage bands gay bands Hawaiian bands country bands and even with the legendary Cockettes. She’s played at county fairs and strip shows and everywhere in between.

Of course, the only way to really experience Jackie Jones is to see her in action. But if it’s been a little while since you last visited the Alemany Farmer’s Market — San Francisco’s very best, as we all know — this short video may refresh your memory. The really fun stuff starts at around 0:55, when Jackie makes her hand saw sing:

PHOTO: Top, Jackie Jones on July 30, 2011, by Telstar Logistics

Heroic Volunteers Tidy Up the Ugliest Spot In Bernal Heights

/ Todd_Lappin / 10 Comments

Wow. Wow! WOW! If ever there was a story that epitomizes the spirit of Bernalwood (apart from our collective obsession with celebrity, glamour, and haute couture), it is this…

As you may recall, last week Bernalwood published a post about The Ugliest Spot in Bernal Heights, a barren patch of east slope hillside overlooking Highway 101 and the Spaghetti Bowl. Well, upon reading that post, a few of your Bernal neighbors decided to do something about it, and they volunteered to spend time on Saturday cleaning up the hillside mess. Yup, that’s right: They stepped up to clean the mess!

Neighbor Mia talks about the cleanup effort on her blog:

This Saturday, me and Josh headed over to give it a quick clean up, which took about an hour. You can see the rest of the results in my flickr stream.

There was a fair amount of trash strewn around, and a real mess of broken wood and bits of concrete and stone. It looked like most of this junk may have come from a nearby fence renovation project.

First we removed the graffiti from the sign, with a spray cleanerthat worked surprisingly well. We then used the discarded building and fence supplies to make a bench (where one can sit and contemplate “progress”) and couple of cairns/shrines/ompahli (depending on what you like to call a pile of rocks).

Here’s a photo of that ad hoc new bench:

So if you see a tear rolling down my cheek right now, please know that I’m not existentially bummed out like that sad Native American (who was really Italian-American) in the “Keep America Beautiful” commercial. No, these are tears of pride and admiration for the infinite awesomeness of the Citizens of Bernalwood.

THANK YOU to Neighbor Mia and the rest of her Cleanup Crüe for a job well done.

PHOTOS: Neighbor Mia

A Missed Connection in the Safeway Produce Aisle

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Safeway

This Craigslist Missed Connection announcement is republished here by Bernalwood as a romantic public service:

Safeway: Tall guy with monochrome black chucks – w4m – 26 (bernal heights)

Date: 2011-07-28, 8:09PM PDT

I almost ran into you while changing aisles and then I saw you again in produce, and again in dairy, and again…. I was going to say hi the next time! I saw you smile and I felt a connection — was I wrong?

If you are the wearer of those monochrome chucks, you may reply right here.

PHOTO: Thomas Hawk

Is Steve Wozniak Buying Weed in Bernal Heights?

/ Todd_Lappin / 5 Comments

Bernal Heights Collective

Does this count as a Celebrity Sighting?

EITHER someone is doing a very rude impersonation of Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak on Twitter and Foursquare, OR the real Steve Wozniak just checked in at the Bernal Heights Collective to replenish his medical stash.

UPDATE: Apparently, this was posted by a rude impersonator. In the comments, Shason and Bigethan point out that @stevewoz is the verified Woz. Good thing, too, because @appleinnovator seemed too vain, and posting from BHC seemed too unwise. That said, the real Woz doth perhaps overshare as well.

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

New Neighbor Interview: Meet Dana; She Just Moved Here

/ Todd_Lappin / 7 Comments

New Resident
For those of us who have lived in Bernal Heights for a while, the glamour and high-society spectacles of our neighborhood are so familiar that it’s easy take it all for granted. That’s why it’s good to check in with a newcomer from time to time, to see how Bernal looks when you view it through fresh eyes.

Thus it is with great pleasure and eager curiosity that Bernalwood presents our first in an occasional series of New Neighbor Interviews, in which we will ask recent arrivals to Bernal Heights all sorts of nosey questions about their first impressions of this place we all call home. Let’s meet our first participant, shall we?

Name: Dana
Came Here From: Santa Rosa, Calf.
Move-In Date: May 21, 2011
Bernal Address: Eugenia (at Bocana)
Rent or Own? Rents 1 BR apartment in older home with 2 other units

What do you do for a living?
I work at PG&E’s service planning department. I help get electric and gas services to new or remodeled large commercial or industrial developments. My title is Industrial Power Engineer.

Why Bernal Heights?
I was going to move to Cole Valley with a friend, but after looking around with her, I decided I wanted my own place. The rents are sky high over there for not-so-nice places. I asked around for what are nice neighborhoods, and heard about Bernal Heights. I looked online and there was ONE apartment for rent, I checked it and the neighborhood out, and loved the area. My place is smaller than what I used to have, but I feel safe and cozy.

First impressions of the neighborhood?
I think its down-to-earth and welcoming. It reminds me of where I grew up in New Jersey. The hilly and narrow streets were a bit shocking when I first drove on them. I love the families walking their children and dogs around.

Any unexpected surprises after you moved in?
The tree that fell down and blocked the street was a big one. At least I met my very nice neighbors that evening. A friend told me a nickname for B.H. is Maternal Heights. I can see what she’s talking about, as there are a lot of kids.

How would you describe Bernal Heights to a friend from out of town?
Its got great weather, a nice park to go for a good walk, and the views from up on the hill are spectacular. Cortland has some great shops. The people are down-to-earth and its a diverse, safe, and seemingly friendly neighborhood.

What are your biggest concerns about your new neighborhood?
The guy who parked his motorcycle in front of my apartment has taken up two parking spots for the past two weeks 😦  Otherwise, no worries really. I’m still freaked about trying to unpack my previous 2 bedroom, 2 car garage house into a tiny one bedroom apartment.

Name your three favorite things about Bernal?

  1. The sunny-yet-breezy weather
  2. All the good energy from everyone walking around with their kids and dogs
  3. The casa salad at Vega’s.

Name three things you wish Bernal had (but which it currently does not)?

  1. Better AT&T Internet and TV service
  2. An Oliver’s grocery store like they have in Sonoma county. It’s really great, as they have cooked food to go, a really incredible salad bar, and local good food — its great for working people who are too pooped to cook.
  3. I can’t think of a third.
PHOTO: Neighbor Dana on Cortland Street, by Telstar Logistics

Can You Identify Mystery Man Found Unconscious In Bernal Heights?

/ Todd_Lappin

This is hot off the wire from the San Francisco Appeal:

Hospital officials in San Francisco are trying to identify a patient who was admitted two weeks ago in critical condition after being found unconscious on a Bernal Heights street.

The unidentified man, who arrived at San Francisco General Hospital on April 11 after being located on Richland Avenue not far from San Jose Avenue at 4 p.m. that day, is now in fair condition, hospital spokeswoman Rachael Kagan said.

Although hospital officials had hoped to identify the man with his help once he became conscious a couple of days ago, “the normal processes of identifying him were not successful,” Kagan said.

The patient, a Latino man in his 40s who has short black hair and brown eyes, has not been able to tell hospital workers his name, Kagan said. He is 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 150 lbs.

Hospital officials are asking anyone who may know who the patient is to contact the hospital at (415) 206-8000.

IMAGE: KTVU via Andy Deason

On Good Friday, Jesus Was Crucified on Bernal Hill

/ Todd_Lappin / 8 Comments

This Foursquare check-in from Brian Wong on Friday night certainly got my attention:

Jesus is being crucified on bernal hill (@ Bernal Heights Park)

Brian’s photo, shown above, was a real eye-catcher as well.

Meanwhile, according to reader Roger, the reenactment took place the corner of Folsom and Ripley, on the north side of the park.

He writes:

It was pretty epic. According to my neighbor (40 years on corner of Folsom/Ripley) it has been going on for years but typically happens in the early afternoon. After doing some digging, I discovered it was not St. Anthony’s but another church from down on the flats.

Apart from being rather graphic, he reports that it was also unquiet, with loudspeakers carrying chants of Latin and Spanish prayers. Very intense.

PHOTOS: Top, Brian Wong. Below, reader Roger.

What an Old-Timer Sees When He Looks at Bernalwood

/ Todd_Lappin / 24 Comments

Remember that post we did that post a few weeks back about about “What a 20something Sees When He Looks at Bernalwood?” That was the one where we shared a “review” of our neighborhood written by a young Bernal resident who described it as “the personification of well-known San Francisco stereotypes.” (Good times!) This generated lots of chatter from the Bernalwood Commentariat, including one by a reader who goes by the handle Welcome Wagon.

Welcome Wagon — who has apparently lived in Bernal for quite some time — provided a  wizened perspective on today’s Bernal Heights that’s a brilliant must-read:

They have babies. They have dogs. They have unlimited lines of credit at the bank of mom and dad. They clog the sidewalks with their SUV baby carriages. They have jobs like “I blog” or “I consult on branding” or I teach yoga and visualization”. They are entitled and tend to complain to the city about every little thing. They dislike my parking my 1981 car in front of their houses. They complain to one another over their lattes about the older residents not keeping up their properties.

And because of them:

You just can’t get good quality crack on Cortland anymore. (that pictured gathering at Cortland and Ellsworth would have been Alemany crack dealers 30 years ago.) There’s a grocery store in the ‘hood where once was a putrid hole much worse than JC Super. You can walk on Cortland after dark. There are actually children in the playground behind the library–not drug dealers. There’s a bakery! And I won’t even mention, well OK, I will mention that they’ve done wonders for our property values.

Having the neighborhood become a yuppie rookery is a small price to pay for the benefits of gentrification.

PHOTO: Thomas Hawk

How a Driver of the Muni 67 Bernal Bus Found the Light

/ Todd_Lappin / 6 Comments

67 UphillOur friends at the ever-excellent Muni Diaries today bring a lovely little tale about the driver of a 67 Muni bus who explained how he came to embrace God and Life in the Slow Lane:

“So back when I was a teen, I used to always drive really fast. I’m talkin’ stupid fast, OK? I had a sports car, and I would take that thing up to maybe 120 sometimes on the freeway,” [says the 67 Muni bus driver].

The passengers sitting near me begin shifting their eyes in the driver’s direction, with concerned looks on their faces.

“So this one night at like 2 in the morning I’m speeding down the freeway and I hear a voice in my head.”

Slow down. Stop.

“I say to myself, that’s ridiculous, why should I stop? This is an empty freeway, it’s 2 in the morning. Ain’t no one out here. And then I hear the voice again.”

Slow down. Stop. There’s a car up ahead.

“So I hit my brakes and stop. And sure enough right in front of me there’s a car that’s been in an accident. Its headlights are shut off, and it’s sideways across the freeway. I came so close to driving straight into it!”

“Wow,” the woman says.

“So I’m stopped there on the freeway and I’m in shock, and I’m asking, how can this be? How can this be? And I started crying right there. God saved me! God saved my life that day. And so then I decided I would stop driving so stupid fast, and I would become a bus driver to take people places and keep them safe.”

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

Welcome to Bernalwood, Baby Juniper Arwen Anemone Sagan Donner Hermes Ximm!!

/ Todd_Lappin / 9 Comments

Happy News! Bernalwood Contributor Bronwyn Ximm gave birth to a brand new baby girl last week, and we’re thrilled to welcome another human life form to the neighborhood. So exciting! So full of potential!

In addition, after several days of Naming Committee consultation, Bronwyn and husband Aaron settled upon a designation for their daughter. Bronwyn explains:

The name, birth certificate edition: Juniper Arwen Anemone Sagan Donner Hermes Ximm

The name, practical edition: Juniper Arwen Ximm

Mother and newborn are thriving, and big sister Ember Rowan Kestrel Jetson Barcelona Owlsley Ximm is pleased to share the namespace:

Congratulations to the Ximms, from all of us at Bernalwood!

PHOTOS: Family Ximm

Meet Burrito Justice: Citizen, Cartographer, Historian, and Rebel Propagandist, TONIGHT

/ Todd_Lappin / 3 Comments

Vicky from the ever-excellent Bernal History Project passed along an announcement about a presentation by our favorite local separatist, La Lengua’s own Burrito Justice (aka Johnny O). It’s no exaggeration to say Burrito Justice put La Lengua on the map — but the really sly bit is that he also created the very first map upon which La Lengua first appeared. (Shown above.)

The talk takes place TONIGHT at 7 pm the Bernal Heights library. Vicky says:

This month’s Bernal History Project meeting features a special guest. Burrito Justice, La Lengua’s resident citizen cartographer and historian, presents a slideshow and talk that will take us on a tour of Bernal and the Mission in the 1860s. There’ll be maps, photographs, and all sorts of computer whizzery.

Regular readers of Burrito Justice will have seen the recent debate over the Coca-Cola mural at Tompkins and Folsom streets, or the La Lengua and Bernalwood Co-Prosperity Treaty.

And if you don’t know where or what La Lengua is, come to the meeting and find out!

The presentation starts at 7 p.m. sharp in the downstairs meeting room at the Bernal branch library (500 Cortland at Anderson); turn left at the bottom of the stairs. As always, the meeting is free and open to all.