Local Artist Creates Weird, Wonderful Wooden Automaton

Nikolas Weinstein Studios is a workshop on Valencia Street, deep within the La Lengua Autonomous Zone.  The studio fabricates beautiful, architectural-scale glass sculpture for clients around the world, including those amazing glass fixtures inside Bar Agricole in SOMA. David Johnson, one of the studio’s master craftsmen, helps make it all happen. But in his spare time, Dave unwinds by building wooden automata — intricate, hand-cranked machinery. As you can see above, his latest work is marvelous:

After countless weeks toiling in his underground secret lair (garage), Johnson went live over the weekend with his latest gizmo, a gift for his father-in-law’s 75th birthday (several components of the mechanics are dimensioned to be exactly 75mm). All the gears are hand-cut on a scroll saw and the auger mechanism was stolen from a plastic drywall anchor. The man is mad. God bless his madness.

Is This the Best Jukebox in Bernal Heights?

So, is this the best jukebox in all of Bernal Heights? You’ll find this one inside the 3300 Club on Mission at 29th, and according to Emily Savage of the SF Weekly, it rocks the hardest:

3300 Club is the best kind of dive. It’s dark, comforting, and full of regulars who get smacked down a peg by the sassy bartender when they get too mouthy. The homemade artwork on the walls is as eclectic as the music on the jukebox. The club’s classic juke has a delightful mix of Chet Baker, the Kinks, the Specials, and Frank Sinatra. The traditional choices are there in full force — Johnny Cash, Tom Petty, the Rolling Stones — along with some interesting new choices like Mumford & Sons and Duffy. There are even oddball options like Fishbone, and, of course, perfect whiskey-drinking companions like Tom Waits.

The club has a wonderful array of choices, records to fit your every mood, and just enough charm to keep you seated squarely on your stool at the bar, cold drink in hand.

The jukeboxes at Nap’s 3 and El Rio also get kudos, but frankly, I fear the judges may have overlooked the *coolest* jukebox(es) in the Dominion of Bernalwood: The old-skool tableside units found inside the mildly-scary Silver Crest Diner on Bayshore. I doubt that the 45s at Silver Crest have been changed since 1971, but that’s just part of the charm:

PHOTOS: Top, 3300 Club by Telstar Logistics. Bottom, Silver Crest by sam_ward13

The Lost History of The Beatles House on Precita

The Beatles House (1982)

Beatles House, 1982

This is a tale of The Beatles, a house on Precita Avenue, a mural, an artsy kid, domestic terrorists, classic punk rock, and a lost moment of Bernal Heights bohemia…

For almost two decades, the former “Beatles House,” at 191 Precita was covered by a colorful mural of the Fab Four. The mural became a local landmark and tourist attraction; so much so that the Beatles House was used to represent a rehearsal studio in the film “Living on Tokyo Time,” while also garnering mentions on local TV, CNN, and in local newspapers.

Today, the mural is gone… vanished without a trace.

I live down the street from the former Beatles House, so the neighborhood lore about the mural piqued my curiosity about it. Eventually, I found an old black-and-white picture of the house from 1978:

"Beatles House," 1978

The posting triggered a lively discussion in the photo comments that attracted both past and present residents of the property, and soon the woman who actually created the mural chimed in to tell her tale.

The Beatles mural was first painted in 1974 by Jane Weems, a young woman who lived in the house during the 1970s and 1980s.

In high school, Jane was the drummer/songwriter for a punk band called The Maggots. The band had a local underground hit with their song “Let’s Get Tammy Wynette.” Stereo Sanctity explains:

Formed around the nucleus of drummer Jane Weems and bassist Robert Mostert in ’78, it seems The Maggots proceeded to get through a veritable bus-load of additional members in their short existence, all arriving and departing from within SF’s high school-age punk milieu, raising merry hell in some parental basement and swiftly developing into the kind of band just as concerned with pasting together fake biographies and press releases for themselves and developing their own brand of icky goofball humour as they were with finding shows to play or recording songs.

The Maggots

You can listen to some vintage Maggots here. (Good stuff!) Jane still looked the part in 1982, and apparently she had a favorite Beatle:

Jane Weems

And here’s Jane, hard at work repainting the Beatles House, also in 1982:

Jane Weems, Hard at Work

So what inspired the Beatles House? In an email to me, Jane explained:

“I painted the house in 1974, when I was still in junior high school…. I had painted the walls of my bedroom inside the house, first with yellow submarine, then, I did the Elton John “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” album cover really big on one wall, and other paintings of the Beatles & Elton John on my walls… they were pretty much covered… so, I asked if I could paint a mural on the house, and my parents said yes… so, I started to draw out what I wanted to paint, with a pencil, all freehand, in the low parts that I could reach… after painting that, my mom rented a scaffold, so I could go up higher to get the whole front done… in the middle of this, I had to go to school every day, so progress was slow.

The S.L.A. ‘s Emily Harris [of Patty Hearst kidnapping fame] lived secretly in a safe house down the street, and used to come by to “watch me paint” and talk to me about the Beatles.

It was fun, both times I painted it… lots of people would stop & watch, or talk to me when I was up there… when I was finished, for years folks would come by, take pix, ring the bell and see what kind of folks lived inside… : ) the SF Bay Guardian gave me a blue ribbon award once for being voted “The best SF remnant of the psychdelic 60′s” even though it was painted in ’74…

Basically, I was just an artistic kid who ran out of room inside, and started on the outside.

And finally, the Where Are They Now? Today, Jane lives in the Midwest, and Beatles House looks like this:

Former "Beatles House," 2007

IMAGES: Vintage photos courtesy of Jane Weems

Please Explain the Mystery of Toni’s Trade Winds

Toni's Trade Winds

Okay, so here’s a question for the Bernalwood old-timers: What was Toni’s Trade Winds?

Its vestigial sign still appears on the facade of 431 Cortland, a weary-looking building right next door to Heartfelt. Anyone know the story behind the old sign, and the business it presumably advertised?

I’m very curious. My hunch is that it might have been a travel agent, but that’s only because whenever I see the sign, that god-awful “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes starts to play in my head for some reason. I seek the truth, both for it’s own sake… and to (hopefully) to prevent this from happening in the future.

Oh, and extra credit if you can not only tell us what Toni’s Trade Winds was, but also tell a good tale of what it was like inside.

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

The Classic Wallpaper at Cancilla’s Market

 As Bernalwood has noted previously, good things are happening at Cancilla’s Market at the corner of Folsom and Precita Park on the north side. The store now sells good cheese, good bread, and even good sake, and there’s even talk that the name will soon change from Cancilla’s Market to Harvest Hills. (Meh.)

Yet amid the store’s dramatic transformation from standard-issue frumpy  to gourmet-handy, there is one thing that thankfully has not changed: The campy vintage wallpaper that shows illustrated scenes of San Francisco. Classic awesomeness:

Cancilla's MarketPHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Coming Soon: Fancy-Shmancy Tequila to Pair with Your Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack

El Amigos Cantina

There’s plywood and construction netting covering El Amigos Cantina, the bar on the corner of Mission and Virginia that’s connected at the hip with Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack.

El Amigos was an odd but not unpleasant place to grab a drink while waiting for a table to open up at Emmy’s, so what will happen to the space now? Emmy’s isn’t expanding; rather, the folls there told Bernalwood the family that runs El Amigos is transforming the joint into a “more upscale” tequila bar. I was made to understand that “more upscale”will likely be relative; rather than being upscale upscale, the tequila bar will simply be more upscale than the old El Amigos — which isn’t really so hard to do, so we’ll have to just wait and see.

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

Music and Bottomless PBR at Wild Side West, Sunday

This musical event announcement arrived via the pneumatic tube that connects Bernalwood’s editorial facility with the outside world:

My name is Cristina and I perform music and make stuff under the moniker of The Heated. I wanted to let you know about a kick ass show coming up at Wild Side West for a great cause. This show is a benefit for three riders in the AIDS Lifecycle. Local (and all women) bands, The P’s & Q’s, The Heated and Tik-Tik Fly (a duo, one of whom tap dances!) will be performing. There will be bottomless PBR for a 10$ donation and there will be a raffle with a chance to win many rad prizes (like a Get Awesome tote bag printed by The Heated). And BBQ! Plus, who doesn’t love getting a little toasty in the afternoon? Here are the details and the flyer is attached.

Date: Sunday, May 1st
Location: Wild Side West
424 Cortland Ave
San Francisco, CA 94110
Time: 3:00 pm – 7:00 pm (music starts at 4:00 pm)

PHOTO: Courtesy of The Heated

Oh. My. God. This. Sutro. Tower. Tattoo!

Anyone who’s ever gone for a stroll on Bernal Hill knows that even though Sutro Tower isn’t properly part of the Dominion of Bernalwood, the landmark tower on Twin Peaks is an essential part of our landscape. So we took note when our hipster friends at Uptown Almanac snagged a snap of this intense tattoo.  KevMo pretty much tells it like it is:

Considering its expansive coverage of local landmarks (Sutro, Palace of Fine Arts, Transamerica Pyramid, Giant’s Logo, Golden Gate Bridge, Coit Tower, and walls of fog), and the fact it just looks sick, I’m going to have to go ahead and declare Geoff winner of the SF tattoo game.  I mean, pretty much the only thing that could be done to up the ante at this point is getting a giant portrait of Dirty Harry on your back, a cable car climbing up your ass crack, the Rice-A-Roni logo on your forehead, [and] an IT’S-IT on each of your butt cheeks.

PHOTO: via Uptown Almanac

Planned Parenthood Protestors Are Likely Breaking the Law

Bernalwood brings you this legal analysis from our  Pregnant Reporter, Jennifer Phillips

A few days ago, MissionLoc@l ran a story about the anti-abortion protesters in front of the new Planned Parenthood clinic on Valencia Street. I live just a few blocks from the clinic, and I’m annoyed at the protesters’ presence in my neighborhood. But the protesters’ time on the sidewalk may be limited: There’s a law on the SF books that says they may be liable for 3 months in jail or a $500 fine for being too close to the clinic.

San Francisco municipal code, Article 43, Section 4302 states that health clinics must have a “buffer zone” around them. Specifically, protesters must not be located within “an 8-foot radius extending in all directions from the individual seeking access to, passage from, or services within the healthcare facility.”

But as you can see by this video and these pictures, the sidewalk in front of the clinic is only about 9 feet at its widest. Since the protesters are on the sidewalk, and because the buffer zone extends in all directions from a person or their outstretched arm, there’s no way they’re 8 feet away from clinic patients.

The penalties for violating San Francisco’s buffer zone law is $500 fine or 3 months jail for the first offense, and $1000 fine or 6 months in jail for subsequent offenses. In addition, if someone did choose to sue the protesters under the law, the protesters would be liable for the plaintiff’s legal charges, $1000, and possibly punitive damages. The protesters seem very confident they know the Lord’s law, but in the meantime they’re in violation of man’s law.

Adrienne Verrilli, Director of Communications and Marketing for the local Planned Parenthood, says the clinic is very aware of the law, but “we really just don’t have a way to have eyes and ears on the street to see if it’s being enforced. And if there are more peaceful ways to deal with this, we want to find those ways.”

She says the clinic’s 15-some staff members have been so busy providing services like family planning and STD tests that it just hasn’t become a priority yet. She said staff is still growing, but if it comes down to “taking care of the client or dealing with crazy people, we choose the clients.”

Verrilli believes that it would be necessary to prove that the protesters had been consistently violating Article 43, Section 4302 in order to have a solid case against them. However, the clinic will have an escort program up and running in 2 months that could allow for more rigorous observation. Verrilli expects that the clinic will be ready to enforce the buffer zone “next year… unless we’re able to get a buffer zone through the Board of Supervisors before then.”

On a more personal note, as a local resident and currently cranky pregnant lady, I asked Verrilli if it would do any good to give in to my impulse to give the protesters a piece of my mind next time I pass. Don’t bother, she said. “It is not worth anyone’s breath to engage with the protesters. Facts are not something they are interested in hearing.” So while debate might not change much on the street, there is a legal way to battle the protesters. And whether they believe in the law or not, the protestors are subject to it.

IMAGE: Screen grab from peephole’s video

Yarn Bomb Detonates on Wool Street

Funny coincidence…

In the car yesterday, I listened to an NPR piece about Captain Hook, a guerilla street artist who knits sweaters and scarves for statues and monuments in Los Angeles. The practice is called yarn bombing, and it’s happening in Bernalwood too; Last night reader Said by Laura called our attention to a yarn bomb she spotted on — wait for it — Wool Street. A little cozy for the Wool Street street sign. How clever! How cute! Also, nice work matching the trim on the yarn bomb with the color of the house behind.

PHOTO: @saidbylaura

Cherry Blossoms Bring Intense Beauty and Heavy Metaphors

Red Hill Sakura
So, how are you feeling today? Kind of happy? Somewhat euphoric? Yet are you also experiencing a heightened awareness of the ephemerality of beauty — and life itself?

Don’t panic… this is all perfectly seasonal. It’s cherry blossom time, after all, and as every sakura-seeker knows, cherry blossoms are the quintessential expression of Mono no aware (物の哀れ) — the Japanese aesthetic concept that highlights awareness of the inherent transience and impermanence of all things.

Sakura Like Yuki

There is no mortal cure for mono no aware, but if you find yourself slipping into excessive mawkishness, Bernalwood recommends some traditional self-medication with a good bottle of cold sake.

PHOTOS: Top, sakura tree alongside Red Hill Books on Cortland. Below, fallen sakura blossoms at Cesar Chavez and Shotwell. Photos by Telstar Logistics.