The smarties over at the Bold Italic published a little article this week which seeks to describe various San Francisco parks in terms of the kind of people they would be if they were people. Which is an odd conceit, because they are not people; theyre parks. But still… let’s just go with it.
Anyway, here’s the kind of person they say Bernal Hill would be if it was a person (which, as we have already established, it actually isn’t):
42, female, 5’6″, 150 lbs
Bernal Hill has always been somewhat removed from traditional social circles. She’s the type to stand off to the side at dinner parties, never one to reach out to others to make plans, and is most comfortable when she’s alone. However, despite this reclusive behavior, she’s not a negative person – far from it. With a smile and a sharp eye, she pays attention to what others are doing, just like a lone eagle might attentively survey the land.
In other words, Bernal Hill is basically… Alanis Morissette? Hmm.
ILLUSTRATION: The Bold Italic