UPDATED: “Smart Car Tipping” Is a Thing, and It Happened in Bernal Heights Last Night



As you may know, “cow-tipping” is mostly at the stuff of rural legend. As Modern Farmer explains, “Cow tipping, at least as popularly imagined, does not exist. Drunk young men do not, on any regular basis, sneak into cow pastures and put a hard shoulder into a cow taking a standing snooze, thus tipping the poor animal over.”

That may be true. Yet here in Bernal, we have experienced a very real wave of Smart Car Tipping which has seen [probably drunk] young men sneaking onto quiet streets and putting a hard shoulder into parked Smart Cars, thus tipping the poor vehicles over.

Neighbor Dyche reports from the scene of a Smart Car Tipping incident last night:

The crack team at Bernalwood might already have heard this over the police scanner but, just in case: there has been a rash of Smart Car tippings in the neighborhood. The last count I heard was three. The first I heard of this phenomenon was a crash outside my front door followed by the sound of a vehicle racing away. I ran outside to find my neighbor’s Smart Car tipped on its side into the middle of the road. This occurred around 1:00 AM on the corner of Ogden and Anderson Streets. The car suffered what appears to be minor damage (including broken windows and side-view mirror. The Smart Car of my other neighbors remains, mercifully, untipped.

Please caution readers to look after their little buddies. If they can, maybe put them in the garage for a day or two.

Or the barn, if you have one. Meanwhile, KRON-TV reports on other incidents around Bernal and in the Portola:


Witness Brandon Michael says he was smoking a cigarette when one of the incidents happened near Bowdoin and Sweeny at about 12:30 a.m. Monday.

“All of a sudden I just see eight hooded figures walk up to the car,” Michael says. “I thought it looked like they were up to no good. And then sure enough they walk up to this smart car right here, all huddle around it, and then lift it up and set it on its hind legs.”

Michael says he thinks the whole thing is kind of silly but clearly an act of vandalism.

Police say witnesses report seeing similar vandalism on smart cars at about the same time just on the other side of I-280. One smart car ended up on its side at Anderson and Ogden while another was left on its roof a few blocks away at Anderson and Courtland.

UPDATE: Neighbor Brandon shares these photos of the fourth Smart Carnage incident on Prospect at Coso in Bernal:




PHOTOS: Top, Neighbor Dyche. Below, KRON. Bottom, Neighbor Brandon

30 thoughts on “UPDATED: “Smart Car Tipping” Is a Thing, and It Happened in Bernal Heights Last Night

  1. Why are we complaining about the influx of tech workers when the real issue is the influx of dipshits?

    • perhaps the dipshits were already here and made visible only under the light of those examining the tech workers. When you raise a light up, you never know if what you see there has been there a while, or just arrived coincidental to having raised the light

    • I suspect that these dipshits are pre-existing dipshits who resent the influx of tech-based dipshittery and are acting out their dipshitty resentment.

      • Or more likely they are just dipshits who were raised by other dipshits and are likely to breed multiple dipshits each.
        Meanwhile the tech worker is too busy to mate or spawn and will likely die off in a generation or two.
        The Idiocracy theory of dipshits.

    • Whether it is an influx or a pre-existing condition, the dipshits, burglars, and muggers, to name a few, are way less tolerable than tech workers. I would love for us as a community & neighborhood to have a multi-level approach to the conditions that cause, create and perpetuate, while still having respect and compassion for each other, while still holding people accountable for their behavior.

  2. I’m just glad my truck is too heavy to be easily tipped by a gang of hooligans. Or dipshits. Whatever.

  3. I doubt this is a form of political speech. Most likely just dumb young men that most likely saw a video online and their dipshit switch flipped on. It’d be a lot funnier if it didn’t cost (I’m guessing) a few thousand in repairs.

  4. I remember as a kid going to a hockey game with my friend and his dad, and coming out to the parking lot to discover their little VW Rabbit moved about 20 feet over to open up a new route out of the lot. No tipping, just full-on moving of the car. If a bunch of drunk hockey fans can move a VW Rabbit that far, they could have tipped it or rolled it, too. This makes me wonder whether there have been similar car-tipping epidemics in the past, or if this is really a new phenomenon focused on Smart Cars in particular?

    • When I was a kid, and the first Honda Z600 appeared in my neighborhood, all the “jocks” would grab the car, lift it up and turn it sideways in the owners driveway. Mind you this didn’t damage the car, but did cause a lot of problems for the owner.

  5. The one in the KRON4 photo is funny. It looks as if the smartcar died and rolled over on its back like a bug. Seriously though, I feel the owners frustrations and hope the vandals (activists) get caught.

    • I got a chuckle out of that one, also. Reminded me of a pet on it’s hind legs begging for a treat. I know how much a small dent costs to repair on my car…can’t imagine what It would cost to repair a smart car that’s had substantial body damage.

      • I heard on one of the newscasts that the one that ended up the roof might be a total loss.
        A few weeks ago some other a**hole backed into the door of my parked car on Coso, and that was almost a total loss because cars are apparently not worth anything anymore after 15 years. So much for sustainability. (A**hole because the coward didn’t leave a note and I got to pay the deductible)

  6. The story has now gone global.

    BBC has the story featured on the front page of their site between headlines regarding an Iranian Nuke Envoy and Egyptian Gay Rights. This is truly a global issue people care about.


    Is Bernal having it’s “Malaysian Air Moment”” We must solve this mystery!

  7. Syria is burning. Storm clouds of war gather over Ukraine. And now, SmartCars tipping erupts in Bernal Heights. Make sure your bunkers are well stocked.

  8. Just watched Chelsea Lately from 4/8 and she covered the Smart Car Tipping with her roundtable of comedians. I looked for a link but have up but it’s pretty funny. It’s not funny when it’s your own car but the comedians say a few funny things and Bernal was mentioned!

  9. Pingback: Your Bernal Heights Crime Report for March, 2014: Stats Show Improving Trends, Recent Unpleasantness Notwithstanding | Bernalwood

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