Viva La Contra-Revolución! La Lengua Dissidents Dislike Funny Name, Seek to Rejoin Dominion of Bernalwood


Fellow Citizens of Bernalwood, this is a day we’ve long awaited.

We have endured years of rebellious bluster and seditious propaganda seeking to undermine the integrity of the Bernal Heights motherland. Yet we now have indications that the La Lengua separatist movement may be collapsing under the weight of its own geopolitical absurdity.

Last week, the Greater Bernalwood Signals Intelligence Unit received this encrypted communication from Neighbor Lisa, who resides deep within La Lenguan territory:

My neighbors and I have a problem. We have been saddled with an absolutely awful nickname for our little corner of San Francisco (La Lengua) and we don’t know how to get rid of it.

The blogosphere, including your esteemed and oft quoted blog, seems to think it is a great term, but the only person on our block who likes it is Burrito Justice himself. Every time someone shares a link to an article containing the hated term, our street mailing list fills up with emails suggesting alternatives. Even when the article is about a pot smoking bear, people get more excited about That Name.

We’d be happy to be referred to as Bernal Heights at this point.

So, how do we get people to use a different name for our microhood? I actually have some pretty strong feelings about what we should call my ‘hood, but unfortunately nobody likes my suggestion as much as I do. Anything but La Lengua.

And yes, every good revolution needs a splinter group.

Rest assured, Lisa, the Citizens of Bernalwood will be happy to welcome you back into our nurturing embrace!

IMAGE: Historic map from 1889 clearly includes the so-called La Lengua territories with the geographic boundaries of Bernal Heights. (On the other hand, this same map also includes six different streets named California Avenue, so draw your own conclusions.)

43 thoughts on “Viva La Contra-Revolución! La Lengua Dissidents Dislike Funny Name, Seek to Rejoin Dominion of Bernalwood

    • Bernalian overlord here, and I fully support the autonomy of La Lengua and our peaceful coexistence. Now for the elephant in the room: what, exactly, do these neighbors not like about the name Le Lengua?

      • My guess is that the resistance has everything to do with inclusion and diversity of voices in the naming process. While Burrito Justice has enriched our neighborhood by sharing information about our natural and man-made history and more, La Lengua is a name that he has been given through manifestos, declarations, and google map maker editing. My bet is there would be less resistance from neighbors if he had asked permission.

  1. Again, just to make sure people know, I call everyone’s attention to the fact that Bernal’s western boundary is San Jose Avenue, not Mission Street. Thus, places like St. Luke’s are in Bernal.

      • Maybe “Heights” was added later? I vaguely recall a post on your site (via Eric Fischer) about a highway where San Jose Ave is and a train station at Cortland that simply said “Bernal.” The Bernal’s actual house was near Mission and CC, right?

    • Who will try to say that the Bernal Heights Post Office and Bernal Heights Cannabis Collective are not in Bernal? When I bike UP the Tiffany Bike Boulevard (only Bike Boulevard in the city), I need to switch gears, since it is up hill.

      And what’s the new name of Stefano’s?

      • I noticed that the new name of the restaurant on the corner of San Jose Ave. at 30th St. is Bernal Heights Pizzeria. Or it could also be named “Coming soon” as the signs also imply.

    • Actually when you get down to Randall the boundary IS Mission Street and not SJ Avenue – those of us along the Bernal cut are no longer district 9 and now are part of glen park. Though people are trying to call use College Hill, I don’t feel like I am on a hill, but along a canyon below GP and Bernal hills

  2. Pingback: Balkanize Bernal | Burrito Justice

    • Nice try, rebel scum. As a representative of Holly Park, I can assure you that we feel profound loyalty to Bernal Heights, in no small part because a not-immaterial number of people in St. Mary’s have hardscaped their front yards and painted them green.

      • The Mission is a low-lying neighborhood. If you take Mission from there all the way down, and it is flat, you are no higher. When you find yourself at the base of a big hill, up there are the Heights! Down at the bottom, at the same flat level and general culture as the Mission, no. Bernal Flats I would go for as a compromise, but I am not gonna stand on a street corner and besmirch my good name like some Tea Partier by misusing the factual concept of height for some doctrinaire faith-based regime.

        P.S. I have never seen this place before and I love it. Thanks for being awesome. Viva la revolución!

  3. Where the devil is La Lengua? I’ve lived here for 40 years and never heard of it.

    J. Schimmel at the top of the hill.

  4. According to the above map. it looks like the Bernalwood Authority might be able to claim some tax revenues over in the Bayshore Industrial & Commercial zone. In addition, perhaps an access fee to the Spaghetti Bowl and Gauntlet might be in order.

  5. Had no idea that Treat used to be called “Berkley” and our wonderful Precita Park was just a “place”?!
    25+ years here…I’ve heard of La Lengua but never knew exactly where it was…

  6. Rumor on the northern side of Bernal is the leadership of the La Lengue regime has migrated down an undisclosed location on the Peninsula rather than keeping residency on the west side of the DMZ of Mission Street.

  7. How about “Bernal Flats”? That way, we have Bernal Heights and Bernal Flats – collectively, just “Bernal”. Though I don’t see anything wrong with being named after such an important body part.

  8. The Rebel Scum Burrito Justice’s apocryphal map betrays its fantastical origins in the fever dreams of an uppity lowlander. For example, the loyal protectorate Acantilados de Nahuatl is lumped in with Precitaville.

    Die, rebel scum!

  9. Finally, people are listening to me.

    And don’t you dare call it Lower Lower Noe, or LoLoNo for short.

  10. La Lengua doesn’t feel like Bernal. Feels like the Mission – the tongue of the Mission. Thank goodness for the rebel BurritoJ.

  11. On the plus side, they are in District 8, where Supervisor Weiner has been doing a great job in addressing the quality of life issues & getting things done.

  12. I’ve always called it Bernal Flats and always will. It’s descriptive and has a homey ring to it. That ‘Lengua’ business always seemed like a desperate cry for hipster cred.

  13. Pingback: New Merchant Association: “We Don’t Know What to Call It Yet, But It Will Certainly Not Be La Lengua” | Bernalwood

Comments are closed.