Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Invades La Lengua

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema

The Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema moved to Tiffany Street last night, deep in the heartland of La Lengua. That BHOC chose to hold an event in La Lengua should come as no surprise; as an official cultural arm of the Dominion of Bernalwood, it is Bernal’s sovereign right to recolonize the territory by staging such events at the time and place of our choosing.

Rebel Leader Burrito Justice

What seemed odd, however, was the decision by Burrito Justice, the leader of the La Lenguan separatists, to serve as MC for the event. Picture John Adams leading the Continental Congress in a rousing chorus of “Happy Birthday, King George III” in 1776, and perhaps you can see what I mean. Most curious.

Happily, the assembled crowd seemed blissfully indifferent to such geo-political nuances. Indeed, Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema attracted a robust cross-section of neighborhood glitterati, and between sips of Don Perignon and nibbles of caviar, there was much blowing of air kisses and overheard conversation about overseas tax shelters and recently concluded vacations in Monaco.

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema

As for the films, they were good clean fun. I had to leave at the intermission, alas, but among the ones I saw, I quite smitten by Kathy Kensinger’s “Cooking with Grandma,” a very well-produced short about making blackberry jam. (Watch it here) We also saw “Remotely Controlling,” by Zachary Zivnuska:

The Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Festival continues tonight on Cortland Street, with continuous film screenings from 7 to 9 pm, and a kiss-kiss after party happening at the Lucky Horseshoe. On Saturday, the festival moves to Precita Park. Hope to see you there, dah-link.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Pilfered Veggies Prompt Padlock on Community Garden

This just in, from the Department of Really Uncool. Neighbor Jamie says:

I am a member of the Bernal Heights community garden at the very top of the south side of Folsom Street. I am sorry to report that a number of gardeners in our garden have had their veggies stolen from their plots over the last few weeks. Most recently a gardener caught two women harvesting her beans at 7am earlier this week! While we all hate to do it, this means we are going to have to place a lock on the gate to the garden.

The trilingual shaming on the sign is a wise touch.

PHOTO: Neighbor Jamie

Bernal Residents Create World’s Largest Strawberry Pancake of 2011 Without Any Flax Seed Using Only Organic Eggs

What is Bernalamo? Quite honestly, I have no idea. Regardless, they live in Bernal, they seem like nice young men, and they have a SkeeBall game in their kitchen (!!), so they are obviously gentlemen of distinction and taste. In this episode, we watch them create the world’s largest strawberry pancake of 2011 that uses no flax seed and only organic egg. The competition in this category is intense, and the suspense is gripping, but as you’ll see — Bernalio delivers. Whatever it is.

Shots Fired as Police Battle Very Bad Doggy on Andover

It’s not quite as earth-shaking as a missing iPhone 5, but there was some intense police activity yesterday on Andover, just off Cortland. Several readers spoke to the cops to find out what was going on, and their stories fit together to tell a reasonably coherent story. Putting all the pieces together, I compiled this unofficial version of what apparently happened:

On Wednesday morning at around 9:30 am, SFPD responded to a report of a pit bull that had bitten charged someone a few blocks away. When the officer arrived on scene, the dog charged the officer, so he fired five or six shots at the animal. Reportedly, none of the shots hit the dog, but eventually backup arrived, the animal was subdued, the street was closed off, and much commotion ensued.

Again, this is an unofficial account, so some of the details may be off, but from it you can get a general sense of what went down. Bad doggie. Baaaaaad doggie.

UPDATE: Neighbor Erik brings the full report (promoted from the comments below):

The pit bull charged a 1 1/2 year-old boy.  I do not think it actually bit him.  The father picked up his son quickly and started screaming at the inhabitants of the house where the dog lives.  I also came out and told them they just needed to close their door and stop letting the dog out on the porch, as it tends to attack other dogs that go by.

I have never seen it attack a person.  This was the first time I had heard of this.   The dog killed a chihuahua a few months back.   The inhabitants closed their door,  but apparently only temporarily, as the dog was back outside when the policeman arrived.  I heard the shots ring out, and came out to see the dog running up and down the street.   The policeman did wing it on the ear, and it was bleeding.  There is a blood trail on the sidewalk.  At this point, about 3-4 cop cars showed up, animal control came along and took the dog away.  I do not think it has returned to the house.

The family whose son was attacked are extremely distraught. They live next door to the house with the pit bull.   They are living there temporarily until their new house is done being renovated on another street.   They are nice people and wouldn’t hurt a fly.

The people where the pit bull lives do not actually own the dog. One of them is more or less in charge of it,  but they are not diligent in any way about looking after the dog as they should. It is an unfortunate state of affairs, and could so easily be solved if they would just not let the dog out off leash.

UPDATE II: Reader SER has provided the SFPD summary of the incident (promoted from the comments):

9:24am      200 Blk Andover            Vicious Dog
Officers Curry and Turner were dispatched to the call of a vicious dog. The reportee told dispatch that a neighbor’s dog had attacked members of her family no one was injured.  The officers arrived and spoke with the reportee who said he was outside when he observed a tan pit bull began barking and aggressively charging at him and his son.  The victim yelled at the dog to stop and the dog stopped and returned to the house next door (home).

The victim told the officers that there have been various issues with the neighbors and his dog in the past. The victim also believed the dog was not being properly taken care of. The owner of the home where the suspect and dog live arrived and began speaking with Officer Curry. The owner expressed concern of the tenants who resided in the rental property.  The officers requested that Animal Care and Control respond to the address as well because they were going to attempt to contact the owner of the dog.  While Officer Curry was speaking with the owner of the property the suspect came out of the residence with the dog.  Officer Curry instructed the suspect dog owner to place a leash on the dog. The suspect refused to obey the officer’s command.  The dog then began aggressively growling at the officer and charged the officer and the property owner.  In fear of his personal safety and that of innocent bystanders Officer Curry drew his department issued firearm and shot at the dog.  Officer Curry requested assistance over the radio and numerous units including officers, Sergeants and Lieutenants responded to the scene to assist.  The dog was located Animal Care and Control took custody of the wounded dog.

Officer Giannini and Civilian Police Services Aides  Der and Navarro responded, processed the scene for evidence and took various pictures which they booked into evidence at Ingleside Station. Officer Deny with the SFPD Vicious and Dangerous Dog Unit responded and took over the investigation .this incident is still under investigation. The dog did not suffer life threatening injuries.   Report Number 110698684

PHOTO: Police responding on Andover. Photo by Reader Paul

Top Secret Apple iPhone 5 Traced to Bernal Heights Home

Are you hiding a top-secret Apple iPhone 5 in your Bernal Heights home? If so, there are some very anxious people in Cupertino who would like to get it back. CNET News reports:

In a bizarre repeat of a high-profile incident last year, an Apple employee once again appears to have lost an unreleased iPhone in a bar, CNET has learned.

The errant iPhone, which went missing in San Francisco’s Mission district in late July, sparked a scramble by Apple security to recover the device over the next few days, according to a source familiar with the investigation.

Last year, an iPhone 4 prototype was bought by a gadget blog that paid $5,000 in cash. This year’s lost phone seems to have taken a more mundane path: it was taken from a Mexican restaurant and bar and may have been sold on Craigslist for $200. Still unclear are details about the device, what version of the iOS operating system it was running, and what it looks like.

While Apple has not publicly announced any plans for future phones, unconfirmed reports in the last few weeks suggest the launch date for the iPhone 5 is likely to be in early October. Other reports from Taiwan have set the date at September or October.

Apple declined to comment after being contacted this morning. A spokesman for the San Francisco Police Department said the company did not file a police report based on the loss at the bar. Craigslist did not respond to requests for comment.

A day or two after the phone was lost at San Francisco’s Cava 22, which describes itself as a “tequila lounge” that also serves lime-marinated shrimp ceviche, Apple representatives contacted San Francisco police, saying the device was priceless and the company was desperate to secure its safe return, the source said.

Apple electronically traced the phone to a two-floor, single-family home in San Francisco’s Bernal Heights neighborhood, according to the source.

UPDATE! TUAW adds:

Rather than immediately remote-wiping the phone as it did with the iPhone 4 prototype last year, Apple used the Find My iPhone feature and co-ordinated with San Francisco police to trace the phone to a home in San Fran’s Bernal Heights area. The homeowner gave police permission to search his house, but the device was not recovered.

IMAGE: Potential iPhone 5 renderings via iPhone 5 Talk

Crazy Driver Veers Off Crescent, Hits Car and House, Triggers Neighborly Bonding

Reader Nicole had some unwelcome excitement last weekend:

Over the weekend a presumably drunk/high driver plowed into a car and then our building on Crescent and Gates. No one was hurt, but it was actually a close call — one person almost got hit by the car and had to run to get away, and the car could have easily gone directly through the wall of the house. It certainly shook everyone up.

It was very lucky that no one got hurt — a guy was waiting to be let into another apartment in our building and saw the car smack into another neighbor’s jeep. Apparently, the car then accelerated, pushing the jeep up on to the sidewalk (slightly damaging the front steps of the house next door). The car proceeded onto the sidewalk — the guy waiting outside ran around the corner to avoid being hit — jumped our our front step, took out the stucco stair rail on one side and our tree box which I only recently installed on the other; minor, but still, sadness. Then — and this is some magic that everyone was standing around at 11:30 on Saturday night trying to figure out — the car managed to pass between a fire hydrant and chained-up bicycle that were maybe 6-7 feet apart, without scratching either. Crazy.

It would have been really, really easy for that car to plow into the first floor apartment and seriously hurt some people. Instead, it’s a whole lot of hassle and insurance-wrangling for everyone involved. The poor guy who almost got mowed down gets mad points for catching and remembering the plate number, so we’ll see what happens…

What was kind of nice about the incident was that a ton of neighbors got out of bed and came over to our place — not in a rubberneck-y way, but in a helpful, supportive way. The cops were pretty good too. Yay, Bernal.

Nicole says she now plans to look into getting a speed hump installed on that section of Crescent, adding “I’m not personally a big fan of speed humps/bumps, but I’m even less enthusiastic about people ramming their cars into my building.” Fair enough…

PHOTOS: Courtesy of Reader Kelly

Sneak Peek: Inside That Mod New House at 3407 Folsom

3407 Folsom Street

3407 Folsom Street

3407 Folsom Street

This week, workers are putting the finishing touches on one of Bernalwood’s most high-profile construction projects: 3407 Folsom, that all-new, all-modern house perched at the top of Folsom, just below the north entrance to the park on Bernal Hill. You can’t miss it; it’s the very conspicuous, very last house before you hit the park, and you practically traverse the living room as you scoot down the hill from Bernal Heights Boulevard.

DSC_0416

But what’s it like inside this 4BR/3.5 Bath Mod Mansion? Let’s take a look…

Most of the bedrooms are above the garage. This one faces west:

3407 Folsom Street

Here’s an interior view of the stairway that’s visible from the street. It takes you from the bedrooms below to the glamorous living level above…

3407 Folsom Street

At the top of the stairs, there’s a dining zone with a slammin’ view of the hillside:

3407 Folsom Street

The kitchen is just to your right:

3407 Folsom Street

Do a 180, and you’re in the living zone, with gas fireplace and plug-n’- play hookups for a flat-panel TV:

3407 Folsom Street

Wander out the sliding glass doors to find a deck with spiral staircase leading up to the HELIPAD on the roof!

3407 Folsom Street

Actually, it’s not a helipad (though it really wants to be one). Instead, there’s a very schwank roof deck with killer views of The Mission and downtown:

3407 Folsom Street

3407 Folsom Street

Looking back toward Bernal Hill, this is the view you see:

View from 3407 Folsom Street

The sign outside indicates that 3407 Folsom has been sold, though it appears the sale hasn’t closed yet. (Realtor readers, can you confirm?) No word on the sales price, either.

But soon, it seems, this home will be occupied by another new Bernal neighbor. And someday, mmmmmaybe, they might invite you over for cocktails on their rooftop helipad. But if not, rest secure in the knowledge that at least you got to savor the view, albeit vicariously.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics

Lights, Camera, Action! The 2011 Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Festival Begins

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema @ Precita Park

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema

In Park City, they have Sundance. In Colorado, there’s Telluride. And here in San Francisco’s finest rustic mountain village, we have our own celebration of homegrown cinema: The Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema Festival.

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema offers free screenings of Bernal Heights and local filmmakers’ works in neighborhood parks and open spaces to increase the exposure and recognition of local artists, to heighten appreciation by neighborhood and citywide residents and to bring community together for the enjoyment of our parks and neighborhood resources.

Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema 2011

There are a few differences, of course. Those other festivals show their films in, you know, theaters. We show ours outside. They are overrun with paparazzi and creepy Hollywood types; Our festival is dog-friendly and BYOB. Sundance takes place in January, and Teluride kicks off early September. And wouldn’t you know it… Bernalwood’s festival happens in early September too. Which means it’s that time of year, right now.

So pack a blanket, don your most cutting-edge polar fleece, and get ready to enjoy our very own glamorously unglamorous film event. The festival kicks off with a star-studded opening night gala tomorrow night, Aug. 31, at the world-famous New Old Clam House on Bayshore, before moving on to other sites around the neighborhood on subsequent cinema-packed evenings.

Heeeeeeere’s you complete 2011 Bernal Heights Outdoor Film Festival schedule:

Wednesday, August 31 – Sunday, September 4

5 FREE Nights / 5 Bernal Sites

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS

Download the 2011 Film Lineup

Wednesday 8/31 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Opening Night at The Old Clam House
299 Bayshore Boulevard
Reception, Films & Music
Benefit for Bernal History Project. Suggested donation at the door of $15 includes two (2) drink tickets

6:30–7:30 pm Music & Reception
Mister Odom and the Odom Poles
7:30–8:00 pm Awards Presentation
8:00–9:00 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Thursday 9/1 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Block Party on Tiffany Avenue
between 29th & Duncan Streets
in partnership with Mobile Arts Platform
Outdoor Films, Music & Fun

6:30–7:30 pm Live Music & Activities
The Patsy Chords
Make Your Own Film
Plant a Seed
7:30–9:30 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Friday 9/2 — 5:00–10:00 pm
Film Crawl on Cortland Avenue
between Bennington & Anderson Streets
Music, Lounge, Films & After Party

6:00–8:00 pm Red Hill Books —Headquarters & Lounge
401 Cortland
Michael Groh and Ted Savarese
7:00, 8:00 & 9:00 pm Film Screenings
Simultaneous presentations at 7 sites. Screening times at some sites are limited. Check the venue film listing for times.

– Progressive Grounds — 400 Cortland
– Four Star Video — 402 Cortland
– Kingmond Young Studio — 416 Cortland
 Bernal Yoga — 461 Cortland
– Bernal Branch Library — 500 Cortland
– Bernal Heights Neighborhood Center —
515 Cortland
– Inclusions Gallery — 627 Cortland

– After Party at The Lucky Horseshoe 
453 Cortland (21 years and over venue)

_____________________________________

Saturday 9/3 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Under the Stars at Precita Park
Folsom Street at Precita Avenue
Meet-the-Fillmmakers, Music & Films

6:30–7:30 pm Live Music & Reception
Classic Rain featuring Karen Huggins
7:30–9:30 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Sunday 9/4 — 6:30–9:30 pm
Closing Night at El Rio
3158 Mission Street — 21 years and over venue
Meet-the-Fillmmakers & Films
Suggested donation at the door of $10 includes
two (2) food tickets
No-host bar; No cover

6:30–7:30 pm Filmmakers Reception
7:30–9:30 pm Film Screening

_____________________________________

Free admission. Seating at all screenings is on a first-come, first-served basis. Attendees are encouraged to bring blankets and low-back beach chairs for outdoor venues. Each site is easily accessible to neighbors and citywide residents on foot or directly by BART 24th Street and SF Muni bus lines #12, #14, #24, #49 and #67.

PHOTOS: From top, slowpoke_taiwan, Guillaume Lebleu, and Telstar Logistics

This Glorious Bernal Hill Photo Made My Jaw Drop

I really can’t tell you how much I love love love this photo taken by Enzo Christopher Njoo and submitted to the Daily Secret. Over on Facebook, a viewer named Melinda cracked the code on the photograph’s subtle-but-clever color-coding:

Love the color contrasts…. red for the living , green for the one that sustains that life, and gray for the inanimate objects.

Click it to enlarge, then join me in a round of “Ooooooh! Aaaaaaaahhh!”

PHOTO: Enzo Christopher Njoo

No, THIS is Bernal Heights at Its Most Bernal Heightsiest

The Bernal Condition

Once upon a time not all that long ago, SFist described this photo as being “Bernal Heights at It’s Most Heightsiest.” Their pick was good, but something about it felt a little too cliche and formulaic to me.

Instead, I’d nominate the photo above, which I snapped last weekend on Cortland… I think it captures something essential about the Bernal Heights condition, circa 2011.

Discuss.

PHOTO: Telstar
Logistics