If that’s your bus… a) You should probably move it, and b) so why aren’t you at Burning Man?
Ye Shall Walk These Bernal Streets, And Know They Are (Still) the Steepest
Waaaaaaay back in 2011, Bernalwood posted an item about an independent researcher who had concluded that, despite some “official” lists which claim that the steepest streets in San Francisco are in Nob Hill and Noe Valley, the actual data indicates that four of the City’s eleven steepest streets are right here in Bernal Heights. As we concluded at the time:
Bernal Heights may not always be the smartest, or the prettiest, or the most popular neighborhood in the world. But we may rest secure in the knowledge that we will always be the steepest.
Well, it’s two years later, and now 7×7 Magazine has taken another look at the data to determine which City streets are the steepest. And once again, according to writer David LaBua, the streets of Bernal Heights are the steepest in town, capturing the number 1, 3, 4, and 6 slots:
So Bernal’s reign of urban verticality continues. But what’s it like to actually live at the top of Bradford, which is now reaffirmed as the steepest of the steep streets in all of San Francisco? Neighbor Lupe tells it:
As the owner of the last house on Bradford, both my legs and my car brakes can attest to the cliff-like steepness of the street. Most of my friends have “mastered” coming up the hill, and a few have learned to drive up in reverse to simplify getting back down. I marvel at Recology, UPS and FedEx rambling up and down with nary a care. Some of the postmen appear as if they are ready to have a coronary, some are clearly athletically inclined, barely breaking a sweat after reaching the “summit”. Not sure how the Chronicle finds its way here, but the paper sits on my doorstep every weekend, neatly wrapped in its bag. The foot traffic increases on Saturdays and Sundays, and it is easy to see who has not ventured up the hill in the past – the lenghty pauses and wide-eyed look on the faces of these virgins is easy to spot.
IMAGE: Top, Bradford’s 41% grade. Photo by Data Pointed
UPDATED: Space-Hogging Car Attracts Multiple Parking Notes of Rage
Tensions were running high on Manchester Street last week, thank to a Mitsubishi SUV that was parked for a long-term stay while taking up two (2!) street parking spaces.
The car was finally moved over the weekend, but not before Neighbor Chris reported that the natives had become restless:
Anyway, on Friday I saw a funny scene of a car that’d obviously been parked waaay too long on our block, and taking up 2 spaces as well, adding salt to the wounds of those circling the block looking for spaces: I can’t decide if we are just way too lenient over here on Manchester for a vehicle to acquire that much literature, or if this car had some special anti-towing force field that can only be neutralized with more notes.
Let’s zoom and enhance to get a closer look at the messages, shall we? On the passenger side of the vehicle, we had one (possibly) official warning and an angry note that ended with a wholly insincere expression of gratitude:
On the driver’s side, we had one confirmed angry note that clearly included exasperated underlining, a second likely angry-note candidate (folded), and a pink item on cardstock that could have been a business card solicitation from a handyman or house-cleaner:
Since the car is gone as you now read this, our hope is that the neighbors on Manchester are now free turn their attention to other literary pursuits.
UPDATE, 29 August: On behalf of the Citizens of Oregon, The Oregonian has issued an apology to all the Citizens of Bernalwood for the behavior of this vehicle. In return, Bernalwood would like to convey our most sincere air-kisses and good cheer to The Oregonian.
PHOTOS: Neighbor Chris
Your Bernal Heights Crime Report for August 2013: iRobberies Continue, Lock ALL Your Doors and Windows, and New Trash Removal Rates
Neighbor Edie was kind enough to attend the August SFPD Ingleside Monthly Community Meeting for us, and she typed up some excellent notes that contain lots and lots of valuable crime-prevention tips. Read the whole thing and you will be wiser and safer:
Ingleside Police District Monthly Community Meeting
August 20, 2013
Captain’s Report by Captain Tim FalveySTATISTICS
Ingleside is the third safest district in San Francisco to live and work in!Homicides – Down 62% (There were 14 homicides YTD in 2012, and 5 in 2013).
Unfortunately, there was a shooting Monday night, at the intersection of Sunnydale and Cora. A car was fired upon, and the driver and one of his two passengers were hit. Fortunately, both survived. The assailants are unidentified at the time of this meeting.
SFPD has a violence reduction team that can be deployed along with gang task force for a major event like a shooting. Gang injunctions are still enforceable for specific locations, however, a judge recently decided that the police can’t enforce No Trespassing signs on public housing, making it difficult to arrest people who are hanging out and refuse to leave.
Robberies – up 30% over last year YTD and arrests are up even higher. It shouldn’t be a surprise that 62% of robberies this year involved cell phones! High theft areas are BART stations and buses, so in September the police will implement an education outreach campaign distributing flyers at BART and on major bus lines to advise the cellphone-using public to stay alert and teach them what not to do.
For instance, a woman had her phone stolen while was walking down the street talking to her mom via FaceTime. She didn’t see the thief at all. So put your phones away and pay attention, please!
Burglaries – down 5% YTD. First 6 months, they averaged 44 per month, this month we’ve had around 30. Police are reviewing the criminal history of recent parole violators to try and get some of the burglars off the street.
In Bernal there have been several Cortland corridor burglaries—homes with an unlocked door on the side of garage or a door with a broken lock. Make sure you lock all your doors and windows, check that your outdoor lights are all working and turned on at night, and trim back your vegetation to increase visibility. SF SAFE can send someone to do a security check of your home. Call 553-1984 to get on the appointment list.
Auto Theft – down 1% from last year. Earlier thefts were mostly older Hondas and Acuras, now Saturns are being stolen. Again, police looking for auto thieves on probation as likely culprits.
Auto Boosts (break-ins) – up 52% YTD. There’s been a recent and ongoing problem at the end of Bosworth where it turns into Glen Park at O’Shaughnessy. There were auto boostings every Friday from 9am to noon, till an officer was stationed there, when they stopped. Remember, don’t leave anything in your car – including your garage door opener.
Personal or Other Thefts – (person leaves phone or laptop on table, purse on barstool, to go to bathroom, comes back and its gone). Doesn’t happen as much here as downtown, but remember not to leave any personal property behind, no matter where you are.
EVENTS AND ACTIVITIES:
1. Tues Aug. 6: National Night Out. 220 people attended. Thanks to Stephen Currier and the Community Police Advisory Board for a great job.
2. Kids are now back in school and the police hope everyone will focus on safety around the schools. Parents, now’s the time to teach your children to be safe – remind them to watch out for drivers and cyclists, and not to cross in the middle of the block or run while crossing the street. Pedestrians, pay attention to where you’re walking, and never assume that drivers are going to stop for you, even when you have the right of way. Drivers, remember the speed zone around schools is now 15 mph.
3. August 17 to October 26th: Saturday at the Park. 7 free concerts on Saturdays at the Jerry Garcia Amphitheater in McLaren Park.
4. August 30, SF Police Academy graduation: 50 new officers will graduate.
Coincidentally, about 50 officers are expected to be promoted to Sgt, so the 50 new Academy graduates will step into their (large) shoes. The Ingleside will get six of them.
5. In September, the Auxiliary Law Enforcement Response Team (ALERT) is signing up new NERT-trained civilian volunteers to aid law enforcement during times of disaster.
GUEST SPEAKER: Recology: Chris Levaggi, Recology Golden Gate
The city of San Francisco is the best composter and recycler in North America: 80% of our stuff goes into the blue or green bin, goes to Goodwill, or is given away, reused, or repurposed for something else, and we’re aiming for Zero waste by 2020.
Zero Waste creates new jobs to pick up and manage the recycling and composting, provides compost for our gardens, and reduces greenhouse gases, but it requires a new pricing structure to pay for the work that’s actually done.
What’s affecting the pricing? If you’ve noticed the trucks coming at different times, it’s because they used to send out one truck, now two trucks go to every residence (one for recycling / garbage, and one for compost), with the routes restructured accordingly. Three trucks cost $1 million, and biodiesel fuel costs are increasing. Labor costs are the largest expense, and since garbage collection is one of the top 10 most dangerous jobs, insurance and healthcare costs have increased.
What were / are the rates? The old rate for a 32-gallon black can, picked up once a week, was $27.91. Blue and green cans were picked up at no charge. As of August 1st, the new monthly fee structure for residential customers includes:
$5.00 base rate per dwelling unit + $25.08 for a 32-gallon black bin (landfill) +
$2.00 for a 32-gallon blue bin (recycling) + $2.00 for a 32-gallon green bin (compost) = $34.08
If you use a smaller landfill bin, or a larger recycling or compost bin, rates will go down or up accordingly.
Recology also does many education and outreach programs to educate the public’s understanding of recycling. These include school programs (so kids can teach their parents), tours of the recycling facility, an artist in residence program-creating found-art projects (with an exhibit on September 20th), and representatives to speak at community meetings.
The number one customer complaint is scavengers, who pick through the blue bin and take out the valuable recyclables. Recology loses a million dollars a year from this, but the problem to residents is mostly the bother and mess the scavengers make. It’s not legal for scavengers to take your recyclables and many work for a guy with several large trucks that sends crews out all over the city to take our recyclables. There’s a limited number of buy-back centers, such as Safeway on Market and on Mission, where drug dealers wait for scavengers who are users to turn their bottles into cash to buy drugs. The most effective means of prevention is to close the buy-back centers.
PHOTO: Telstar Logistics
Neighbor Captures Photo of Smash-and-Grab Thief on Cortland
A breaking story from Bernalwood Action News…
Neighbor Brett just sent along these photos of a thief on Cortland, photographed at about 9am this morning. Brett writes:
If you see this guy call the cops. He just smashed a cab window grabbed a backpack and ran down Cortland.
Here are closeups:
If you see this suspect around the neighborhood, please notify the SFPD.
PHOTOS: Neighbor Brett
The Only Thing Better Than This Photo of Bernal Hill During a Lightning Storm Is This Photo of Bernal Hill During a Lightning Storm with a Soundtrack
The lightning storm that passed through San Francisco on Monday night generated lots of excitement and some terrific photos from around town, but Bernalwood was slightly disappointed that we couldn’t find any good photos of Bernal Hill captured during the light show.
Turns out, we just needed to be patient. San Francisco photographer Steve Byrne just sent us this electrifying image of Bernal taken from Potrero Hill during Monday night’s storm, and it’s fantastic.
However, to make it even more fantastic, try this: 1) Imagine that somewhere high atop Bernal Hill there is a creepy laboratory where the diabolical Dr. von Bernalstein is attempting to reanimate an experimental undead monster he pieced together from salvaged human body parts; 2) Press the Play button below; 3) Stare at the photo above for a minute or so.
Amiright? Amiright?
PHOTO: Thanks, Steve Byrne
Universe Provides Grateful Monument for Departing Yoga Teacher
Neighbor Matthew found this sweet little monument yesterday, high atop Bernal Hill on the west side. It says:
Gules, my long lost sister!
You are such a radiant little ball of energy. I felt that we already knew each other when we met, those giant green eyes and that beaming pure smile! You make me so happy little angel! I KNOW that this will not be the last time we meet each other. I also know that you will make an INCREDIBLE yoga teacher & Chinese Medicine Doctor one day. And if you ever decide you want to come to the U.S. & teach at whatever studio I’m at, you will ALWAYS be welcome to share your spirit.
Awwwww. That’s awesome.
Meanwhile, in other neighborhood news, this happened shortly after Neighbor Matthew found the Departing Yoga Teacher Monument on the western summit of Bernal Hill:
PHOTOS: Above, Neighbor Matthew
Bernal Isle Resort: A Modest Proposal for the Future of Bernal Heights
This week, the New York Times reports that scientists believe global warming could cause up to three feet of sea-level rise by the year 2100.
With sea levels rising, we must look forward… many, many, many years forward, to envision a future in which the oceans have risen 200 feet and reclaimed much of San Francisco — except for Bernal Heights, which will enjoy many natural advantages as a post-urban island with wonderful beachfront real estate.
It may take centuries for Bernal to attain its island destiny. Yet whenever that future arrives, we, the residents of Bernal Heights, should ourselves be the architects and authors of our shared destiny. Which is why — aided by detailed maps of Bernal Isle created by La Lengua rebel leader Burrito Justice — Bernalwood has developed some conceptual mockups to demonstrate how we might leverage Bernal’s prime beachfront location overlooking Mission Gulf… for the benefit of posterity.
As you can see, the central element of our proposal is the development of the luxurious Bernalbleu Hotel and Resort near the site of present-day Folsom and Ripley Streets:
The northeast end of Bernal Isle will be the ideal location for a premium residential enclave, with convenient access to watercraft and prime views of San Francisco’s majestic Submerged Skyline. With its own on-demand ferry service, Prentiss Island just off Bernal’s South Shore could be an exclusive haven for a select group of high-value homeowners:
On the west side, the gated community of Hipster Vista will serve a younger clientele that prefers a more active lifestyle. The Cortlandia Shopping District will be a thriving retail corridor, with merchants specializing in the sale of fudge candies and resusable hemp-fiber shopping bags decorated in the local style. Localsonlyville will be where many year-round residents live, and it shall nurture the spiritual core of Bernal identity.
Of course, Bernalwood understands that change is difficult.
We also understand that dramatic change is even more difficult, especially when it comes in the form of 200′ sea level rise and the redevelopment of Bernal Heights as a Catalina-style island resort destination.
Yet change is coming — whether we like it or not. That’s why we propose to look change right in the eye, pour it a stiff drink, and give it a big, wet minty-fresh kiss. Let’s begin to prepare for tomorrow… today! All ideas are welcome.
Lost and Found: Did You Lose a Big Wad of Cash Yesterday?
Say, did you happen to misplace some cash in Bernal Heights yesterday? Because a very kind Bernal neighbor found a big chunk of money that she wants to return to its owner:
I found some money near a playground in Bernal. It’s a considerable sum, and it would be great to find the rightful owner. Based on the way it was folded, it looks like it may have fallen out of someone’s pocket. I do want it to go to the rightful owner, so anyone interested in claiming it would need to name the playground it was near, the approximate amount, and the time it could have been lost by the playground.
There you have it. If you think this money may have been yours, email bernalwood AT gmail DOTCOM and describe where you think you lost it, how much money you lost, and when you think you lost it.
Bernalwood will forward all responses to the good samaritan who seeks to return it.
PHOTO: Freshly printed bills by Yakpimp on Flickr
Bernal Hill, as Seen from Caltrain This Morning
Here’s a quick snap taken from a Caltrain departing San Francisco this morning, with Bernal Hill basking in the sun while a thin layer of Karl covers the base of Sutro Tower. Lovely.
Saying goodbye always sucks, but coming home again is always a treat.
PHOTO: Telstar Logistics
The Bauer Swoons for The Palace (and We Should Quickly Make Reservations)
The Palace is the name of the steak restaurant at the corner of Mission and Cesar Chavez that was briefly known as The Palace Steak & Pizza after it spent several decades as The Palace Family Steak House. Yet the name game is perhaps the least confusing thing about The Palace, which reopened under chef Manny Torres Gimenez in June.
For one, The Palace discourages walk-ins; diners are encouraged to make reservations by texting 415-666-5218.
Also, the Palace has an a la carte menu, but the focus is on are prix fixe dinners at $50 per person.
And most confusing at all is the fact that even though it still looks like the kind of greasy-spoon where Whitey Bulger would go to plot his next mob hit, The Palace now serves the kind of food that makes SF Chronicle food critic Michael Bauer swoon.
Here’s what The Bauer had to say about The Palace yesterday:
Earlier this year [Chef Manny] took over the Palace Steakhouse. Since he and his wife, Katrina De Porres, who handles the front of the house, have no investors, they did it all on their own. The interior is slightly more upscale, but there’s still paper napkins, bare tables and chairs that look like they came from a hospital lobby.
He invested most of his money in rebuilding the kitchen — putting in a rotisserie so he could roast whole animals, adding a French flat-top stove and buying equipment so he could produce better food. Now he creates a five-course savory menu for $50, as you can see in the photos above.
It doesn’t matter that the surroundings are little better than a diner; he’s now cooking food that he loves and would be at home at places like Michael Mina and Gary Danko.
With money running low, he had to open, so he still doesn’t have his liquor license. He hopes that if this venture is successful he will be able to close temporarily in January, blow out the ceiling, redo the interior and improve the dining experience.
He’s taking baby steps, but his passion for cooking shows on every plate.
Your Bernalwood editor feels like he has seen this movie before. We remember going to Mission Chinese Food quite frequently when it was just a bizarre hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant inside a hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant, with a clever young chef named Danny Bowien who was cranking out mind-expanding Szechuan-ish cuisine at reasonable prices. Then this happened, and this happened, and this happened, and now Mission Chinese Food has ridiculous lines out the door every night of the week… which makes us incredibly happy for Danny Bowien, but very sad for our spicy Chinese food cravings. (Take-out, FTW!)
So while your Bernalwood editor has not yet dined at The Palace, it now comes highly recommended by both The Bauer and Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable, which is about as broad a spectrum of endorsements as one could possibly hope to get.
It also means that since The Palace sits at the foot of Bernal Heights, we should all check it out now, and as soon as possible, while we still can… before it gets so crowded in the future that no one goes there anymore.
Oh, and don’t forget to listen to the still-classic Palace Family Steak House theme song:
PHOTOS: Top, Telstar Logistics. Below, Chicharron at The Palace by John Storey, SF Chronicle
Is This the Bernal Heights of Tokyo?
Nate Hill is traveling in Japan, where he says he has stumbled upon a Bernal-like neighborhood just south of Tokyo, near the Kikuna train station:
I’m a confessed Tokyophile, but I don’t have any insight as to what’s the most Bernal-like part of greater Tokyo. So if anyone dissents from the above, or has a better proposal for the “Bernal Heights of Tokyo,” please chime in.
Regardless, my expectation is that the Bernal Heights of Tokyo will have inferior hilltops but superior ramen.
Photos of Cortland Avenue from A to Z
In the realm of unsolicited creative awesomeness, your Bernalwood editor was thrilled to find this little gift waiting for me in the Bernalwood Pool on Flickr.
Flickr user bmeabroad has compiled a very sweet collection of 26 photos called “Cortland from A – Z.”
It’s terrific. And it teaches us that…
“J is for Jasmine”…
“K is for King”…
“N is for No Parking” (of course)…
“U is for Under Construction”…
“W is for Waffle”…
… you get the idea.
Its wonderful. It’s cute. It wants to be a children’s book. Enjoy!
ALL PHOTOS: bmeabroad on Flickr
Bernalwood 