Burrito Justice, chief spokesblogger for the La Lengua separatists, recently joined forces with Brian Stokle to provide a detailed examination of what San Francisco would look like following significant sea-level rise caused by global climate change.

As you may recall, Burrito Justice took an initial pass at this project earlier this year, with a whimsical map that envisioned the “San Francisco Archipelago” following a colossal 200-foot sea-level rise. The new maps add a detailed street grid, as well as a visualization of what Our Faire City would look like following a somewhat less apocalypic (and somewhat more Sandy-like) 25-foot surge.

The resulting maps of the City are both hilarious and alarming. Yet because we are very vain here in Bernal Heights, let’s just focus on what they tell us about potential scenarios for the future of our own neighborhood.

Let’s start with the eminently possible 25-foot scenario:

As you can see, Bernal fares relatively well in this scenario, with fashionable views to the east overlooking Islais Bay. Bayshore Avenue simply becomes part of the bay, which means that Lowe’s, the Silver Crest Restaurant & Bar, and the (New) Old Clam House are lost to us.

Things look very different if the waters rise by 200 feet:

In this scenario, Bernal Heights is an island. The issue of La Lenguan sovereignty becomes moot, since all of La Lengua is underwater. My house on Precita is underwater too (but lives on via an eponymous marina). Happily, the Cortland retail strip survives, no doubt having morphed into a string of Nantucket-style boutiques selling nautical art, chocolate fudge, and nostalgia-themed t-shirts.

I’ve been giving some thought to how Bernal might adapt to the 200′ scenario, and I’ll have more to say — and show — about that in the new year.

This morning at approximately 8:08 am, scientists at the Bernal Heights Prismatic Observatory recorded a massive Category 4 rainbow arcing across the northern sky, just west of Mission Street.

At the same time, a faint, secondary halo was seen just above the primary arch, earning this event official Double Rainbow certification.

Because of today’s date — December 12, 2012 — today’s sighting was quickly dubbed the “Triple Twelve Rainbow.” Meanwhile, the unusual combination of high rainbow clarity and profound numerological symmetry was predicted to have a fortuitous impact on Bernal Heights and the surrounding area.

There have been scattered reports of sudden-onset euphoria occurring throughout Bernal Heights this morning, so motorists are advised to be on the lookout for blissed-out pedestrians wandering aimlessly on local sidewalks, streets, and byways. On Bernal Hill, dog-owners are asked to keep their pets under close control, given the high probability that unicorns will be grazing there during the day.

Finally, please note this stunning image captured by Neighbor Jason, which will be even more mind-expanding if you click here to embiggen:

PHOTOS: From top, Aaron Ximm, Ben Simon, @jessstopp, Steve Rosenberg, Jason Brown