Bernalite Matt Stewart Talks About Bernal Heights


One of the things Bernalwood likes to talk about is the way we talk about Bernal Heights. The only thing better, really, is when we can talk about people talking about talk about Bernal Heights.

Got that? Because that explains why it’s interesting that Bernal Heights resident and Twitter novelista Matt Stewart recently said some interesting things about Bernal Heights in the SF Examiner’s Neighborhood section:

Stewart […] never imagined he’d end up calling Bernal Heights home. “I mostly moved to Bernal because my wife and I could afford a house here, barely,” explains Matt. “I’d always thought of Bernal as a quirky neighborhood that nobody goes to unless you know somebody there, which turned out to be 100% true.”

If you do find yourself in Bernal because, either you happen to be visiting someone there, or you fancy steep narrow avenues sporting bungalow-like houses that cling to their foundations against all odds (and gravity), then there are some highlights to note. “There’s a stunning art deco bench in Precita Park that was made from melted-down handguns in honor of a murdered couple” shares Matt. “Also, I love wandering around Bernal Hill—it feels like exploring the moon. And sunsets (there) are about as electrifying as it gets.”

All true! Then Matt gets to the dish:

On what else to expect from Bernal Heights after the sun goes down, Matt jokes, “The biggest change occurs around 7 pm, when the children are put to bed and we can all frolic naked in the streets.”

Matt’s Picks:

Favorite café?
Sandbox Bakery—get the drip coffee.
833 Cortland Avenue

Favorite Street?
Esmeralda. They have a block-long slide!

Favorite shop/store?
Red Hill Books. A literary goldmine in the space of one of Gavin Newsom’s smaller closets.
401 Cortland Avenue

Favorite place for dinner?
Moki’s, for sushi made with love.
615 Cortland Avenue

Favorite place to people watch?
If by people you mean dogs, and I think you do: Holly Park.

Favorite corner store?
Chuck’s. It looks like a run-of-the-mill corner store, but I’ve been able to find weird items there I can’t find elsewhere, like miniature bottles of champagne and a cocktail shaker at 7 pm on Christmas Eve.

Favorite local Blog?

See? That’s what we’re talking about!

Photo: Matt Stewart as photographed by Julie Michelle

Local Cartographer Creates “Islands of San Francisco” Map

Burrito Justice, the uppity chief spokesperson for the uppity La Lenguans, has created a pleasing new map of San Francisco that brings linear order to our nonlinear city and geographic clarity to anyone who simply has a hard time keeping track of which neighborhood is which:

After at least 300 interations, behold a poster of my San Francisco map — if neighborhoods were islands, and streets canals.

Order on Zazzle — 23″ x 23″ for $25, 15″ x 15″ for $16. 11″ x 11″ for $11.

Still time to ship for Christmas! (Or start a tradition of giving maps in the New Year!)

Here’s a close-up of the most attractive and interesting part, Bernal Heights:

Note also that the map indicates La Lengua has chosen to align itself as a contiguous vassal of The Mission, when in fact it is a contiguous vassal of Bernalwood. Must be some sort of mistake.

Crime Blotter: Thievery on Cortland Street


Via bernalsafe comes news of a string of thefts on Cortland that took place last Thursday, December 16, as reported in the Captain’s Newsletter of the SFPD’s Ingelside Station:

06:20 pm 400 blk Cortland Theft, from Building
Officers Yuen and Paras responded to a theft call. The officers met with the victim, a restaurant employee, who stated that a man had stolen money from her wallet. The victim stated that the suspect entered the restaurant and asked to use the restroom. The man was directed toward the restroom, but the victim found him in the storage room. She pointed to the restroom and the suspect entered. The victim entered the storage room and found that her wallet had been taken out of her purse and was open with money missing. The man exited the restroom and denied taking the victims money. He then ran out of the restaurant. Suspect Description: African American, 20-21 years old, 6’1, 150 lbs, brown hair and eyes, wearing a red plaid jacket, dark color skinny jeans, carrying a black tote bag. Report number 101157603

06:45 pm 300 blk Cortland Theft, from Building
A woman, closing her business was approached by a subject with the same physical description as the other theft on Cortland Street. She told the man that she was closed for the day and he lingered suspiciously in the store, then left. Moments later the victim discovered that her laptop computer had been stolen. The suspect had left the store in an unknown direction. Report number 101157738

Photo: Thomas Hawk

Space Aliens Visit Precita Avenue and Donate a Christmas Tree

UFO XmasDid anyone notice a spaceship hovering over Precita Avenue, just west of Folsom? (There’s been no mention of it among the excitable crowd at bernalsafe.) And if so, did you happen to see it beam a Christmas tree into this apartment?

The residents of this place have displayed their trippy blacklit Close Encounters of the Christmas Kind tree for the last several years, and it gets a little bit better every year.

To fully appreciate it, however, you really must see it in motion. So here’s a sidewalk video of the 2010 Edition, for your extraterrestrial enjoyment: